12 classic joke

1. The diver's movements are difficult. He turns three times, then somersaults three and a half times, and then somersaults for a month.

2. One day, Zorro went to his mistress's house to meet her mistress. The hostess asked Zorro, "What if my husband comes back?"

"Zorro said," it's okay. If your husband comes back, I will jump out of the window and my horse will pick me up below. "

The hostess said that if I heard three knocks at the door, my husband would come back.

Zorro said: I see.

After a while, it rained. Suddenly there were three knocks at the door: knock, knock, knock. If it's too late, it will be soon. Zorro jumped out of bed and suddenly jumped out of the window. When the hostess saw Zorro leaving, she went to open the door.

I saw a horse standing in front of the door and said to her, "Tell Zorro it's raining outside and I'll wait for him in the corridor."

3. Once upon a time, there was a man named Cai Xiao who was abandoned and rotted overnight ~ ~ ~ ~

4. Someone took it away. Like a plane, he left and flew away.

There is a man who looks like chocolate and eats while walking.

There is a person who looks like a light bulb and lights up when he walks.

There was a man named Xiaohua who was picked while walking.

There was a man named Coke who was drunk when he walked.

5.MM got lost looking for a university. Meet a gentle professor.

Excuse me, how can I get to the university?

Professor: Only by studying hard can you go to college.

6. Every time? When wearing stockings ......

There will be an indescribable feeling in my heart,

namely ......

Radish is also wrapped in plastic wrap! ! !

7.M: I really love you. Please be my girlfriend! !

Woman: But I have no feelings for you at all! !

M: Well, you tell me what's wrong with me and I'll change it! ! !

Woman: Then tell me what's good about me first, and I'll change it! ! !

8. The director and the section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't let it go ... Soon the section chief was dismissed, and the director said at the meeting: You can't afford to fart. What do you want?

In fact, the Olympic mascots should be designed as "a million heroes crossing the river", with a million different shapes. If you want to buy it, you have to buy 654.38+0 million at a time. If you lose one, you will lose the collection value and make a profit. ......

10, Miss: Business is bad now!

Boss: Why?

Miss: "Bird flu ..."

1 1. A woman trembled when she met a robber. She said, "I'm from XX. I just graduated and haven't found a job yet. I really have no money ... "

The robber cried bitterly after hearing this. "Elder sister, I am also a XX person. Please bring your student ID card. Don't worry, we will never rob our own people! "

XX can be freely replaced by the name of your school or unit. .............

12, ask the canteen: It's cold, what can I eat to keep warm?

A: Eating cotton helps to keep warm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

13, I want to talk to my girlfriend ML. My girlfriend says I can't do it without taking a shower. She promised to wash part of it in cold weather. After washing, my girlfriend said shyly, "Honey, you are lazy, where can you wash ..." I fainted after listening, and just brushed my teeth.

;