A sentence that kills people without paying for their lives.

1. The little girl selling flowers pulled me: "Big Brother, buy a bunch of flowers. I can tell you are a playboy."

2. Shuang Song divorced, Li Fan broke up, and the world has been changing, except that you are single dog.

3. In the past, doctors would happily say to pregnant women, "Congratulations on your pregnancy." Now doctors will say, "You are pregnant, do you want the baby or not!" This is the change of the times!

4. If you don't study hard at ordinary times, you won't dare to get higher marks even if you copy in the exam!

5. the scariest thing about shopping is that you made a price with trepidation, and it is difficult for the boss to agree instantly for the sake of it!

6. When I went to the supermarket with my dad, I saw a man and a woman begging for food on the roadside. We went around and dad sighed: Even beggars have wives. I smiled and answered: he should have a wife before he went begging.

7. The goddess told me that if I like her, don't say it, because it won't work if I say it.

8. Nothing can't be solved by eating a big meal, nothing can't be forgotten by sleeping in, and nothing can't be conveyed by sending a red envelope.

9. I wanted to fart in the meeting, but I was afraid of being heard, so I deliberately dragged the chair and made a noise. As a result, I accidentally fell down and farted. Then I heard someone behind me say: awesome, fart and blow yourself up!

1. When I was a child, I didn't like eating, which led to being short. Now I like eating, which leads to being fat, short and without a partner.

11. Buddy: It is said that a woman's ideal weight is that a man won't frown when he hugs you. Me: Really? Then I'll shave my husband's eyebrows when I go back tonight.

12. if your monthly salary is only 5k, and you want to buy a flat of more than 1 square meters and an Audi A6 in the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, then you might as well set yourself a small goal, for example, I will live for him for 25 years first, and then borrow it from heaven for another 5 years.

13. I asked a dozen basketball buddies yesterday, "What serious injuries have you suffered on the court?" Buddy: "Watch a teammate's girlfriend feed him water."

14. I went to the hotel the day before yesterday, but the quilt was not very dry and a little wet. So I called the front desk: "Your quilt is a little damp?" The front desk unexpectedly replied, "This is the latest model, and it is really fashionable."

15. Take the expressway by car. When the service area is approaching, the driver yells, "Be quick to go to the bathroom, and get ready in advance!" A weak question from the next buddy: "How do we prepare in advance? Do you want to take off your pants now?

16. The doctor said it was bad for your eyes to watch your mobile phone while walking. Now I'm running to watch it.

17. I have admired three men, one is Xu Xian, the other is Yong Dong and the third is Ning Caichen. One dares to love snakes, one dares to love immortals, and the last one doesn't even let go of ghosts. It wasn't until I saw Hua Qiangu that I knew that Luoyi was a real man and loved caterpillars.

18. The Internet is a very practical invention: in the past, you had to turn over a lot of books to do your homework before you could find enough information; Now I just need to surf the Internet and forget all about my homework.

19. I go to work for money. Don't talk to me about my ideal. My ideal is: I don't go to work!

2. My five-year-old daughter spat on the sofa, and suddenly her daughter rolled over and fell to the ground! But this guy was strong and didn't cry. But climbed up in front of me and slapped me! Say, "What do you think of children?"

21. Once, while my roommate was taking a shower, I changed his girlfriend's number stored in his mobile phone to mine, and sent him a short message in bed at night, "Husband, I'm pregnant". I saw the buddy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Bada Bada smoked a pack of cigarettes and asked the dormitory person to borrow money.

22. When I was in Grade One, a classmate confessed to the goddess of senior three. The goddess said, "I don't like children!" " Who knows that these two goods came with a sentence: "We can not have children first!" Emma, it's so witty that our class laughed all semester!

23. In Chinese class, the deskmate is playing with his mobile phone, which is called concentration! After a while, I saw that the teacher was coming, so I gave him a push. Eldest brother calmly put his mobile phone on my desk. Then came a sentence: "Stop fucking playing." Maybe you think I'm unlucky, but I said angrily, "Teacher, take it away. I was wrong." My deskmate never talked to me again.

24. A big boss went to a factory for inspection on a whim. He encouraged a hard-working employee: "Work hard, I used to be like you!" " Unexpectedly, the employee said, "You work hard, too. I used to be the same as you."

25. A female colleague makes a bitch in the office: "I'm so beautiful, I'm haunted by a group of men every day, and it's hard for me to refuse others. What should I do?" I silently spilled the water from the glass in her face. The female colleague suddenly realized: "I see, you want me to be clear-headed and calm as water!" Really? " I told her: "beauty is not beautiful, it's all ghosts without makeup!" "