Jokes for children aged 8 to 12

Jokes for children aged 8 to 12 years old

For children aged 8 to 12 years old, the material of jokes comes from life. Many people will read jokes when they have time to active their body and mind, and Jokes can help children develop their imagination and innovative abilities. Let me give you a brief introduction to jokes for children aged 8 to 12 years old.

Jokes for children aged 8 to 12 years old 1

1. An ant saw an elephant on the road. The ant burrowed into the soil and only one leg was exposed. The companion saw it and asked in confusion: "Why are your legs exposed?" The ant said: "Shh! Don't make any noise, I will trip him!"

2. A rich man invited a The teacher taught his son how to read. On the first day, the teacher taught me how to write "one, two, three". The character "one" means "one horizontal line", the character "two" means "two horizontal lines", and the character "three" means "three horizontal lines". The rich man's son thought about "the original character" It's so simple." He told the rich man that he had learned to write. The rich man was very happy, so he gave him a test and asked him to write the word "hundred". He then picked up the pen and wrote for a long time before he finished it. He showed it to the rich man. The rich man saw it. He fainted from anger on the spot. It turned out that he had drawn 100 horizontal lines on the paper.

3. I saw a child skipping rope on the roadside last night. He was so tired and out of breath while counting. I stepped forward and asked him: "Kid, how many dances did you have?" He said: "There are 250." I said yes, great, and left. After walking two steps, I heard him continue counting: "260, 270, 280 ! ”

4. There are two cows grazing on the grasslands of Australia. One of them said to the other: "There is an epidemic of mad cow disease recently. Do you think we will get it?" The other said: "What are you afraid of? Aren't we kangaroos?"

5. The thief stole one The chicken was being plucked by the river when a policeman came over. The thief hurriedly returned the chicken to the river. The police asked: What are you doing? What's in the river? The thief said: That is a chicken. It is going to cross the river. I am here to help it look at its clothes. Jokes for children aged 8 to 12 2

1. My daughter is over two and almost three years old and has already learned to avoid people. Today she said to me, "Mom, do you love Changchang?" I said yes, and she hurried He said, "Then you must buy chocolates for Changchang." Children today are much stronger than when we were children.

2. Today, my cousin’s son played rock, paper, scissors, and the one who lost got slapped.

I beat him gently and went crazy with my child. After I won a few games, my little nephew was no longer willing.

I asked him why, and the naughty boy said: "I have small hands, so if I slap you, the pain will be small. Your hands are so big, and if you slap me, my whole face will hurt."

Me: "..."

3. Child: "Dad, Xiaohua's father is a good swimmer. Why can't you?"

Dad: "Xiaohua's dad always eats fish, so he can swim. Dad, I don't often eat fish, so how can I swim?"

Child: "But, dad, you always eat chicken , How come I have never seen you lay eggs?”

4. The priest asked the 12-year-old child: Who is your creator?

After thinking for a while, the child replied: It’s my father.

The priest asked the 5-year-old child the same question, and the child said: It is God.

Sorry, the 12-year-old child blinked and answered cleverly: This child was created not long ago, so he remembers his creator. I was created a long time ago. Now that I know more about it, I forget about it.

5. Not long after a crocodile entered the securities company, a gecko came out. The old man at the newsstand at the door exclaimed: The stock price fell too dangerously today. In less than five minutes, he lost weight like this. My child, follow me. Sell ??newspapers!

6. Afanti was very old. One day, his son said sadly: Dad, if you die one day, what wealth will we inherit from you?

Afanti thought for a while, sighed and said: My child, I have no property and no land. But don't be depressed. After I pass away, you will inherit my wisdom.

7. Teacher: "Hello, classmates!" Students: "Teacher, happy Teacher's Day!" Teacher: "Thank you, classmates, where is Xiao Ming?" Xiao Qiang: "Xiao Ming said that today you are celebrating the holiday, he I won’t be angry with you anymore. Get out now.” Teacher: “Xiao Ming is actually a sensible kid. Go ahead and ask him to come in.” Xiao Qiang: “I guess he’s already home.”

8. Every time I take a bus, when I meet an elderly person, someone with a child, or a pregnant woman, I will give up my seat. However, there are a few times when I am really tired, or because I feel dizzy and have a stomachache, and I keep sitting without giving up my seat. They are standing in front of you, and no one else has given up their seat, so I feel really embarrassed. It’s not that I don’t give up, it’s just that I’m really tired.

9. Children cannot lose on the starting line, students cannot lose on the admission line, leaders cannot lose on the front line, investors cannot lose on the K line, rural women cannot lose on the needle line, and urban women cannot lose. Losing on the curve, all men cannot lose on the prostate; pedestrians on the street must not lose on the zebra crossing.

10. During the writer Feng Xucai’s visit to the United States, an American friend took his child to visit the hotel where Feng was staying. During the conversation, the child, who was as strong as a calf, climbed onto Feng Jicai's bed and stood on it jumping up and down. If you directly ask him to come down, his father will definitely feel apologetic. So Feng Jicai said humorously: "Please ask your son to come back to the earth." The American friend immediately understood: "Okay, I will discuss it with him."

11. Xiao Ming: "No man. Are you lonely, my friend?"

Teacher: "Don't think about this, kid, just study hard!"

Xiao Ming: "I opened your express delivery in the academic office."

12. My career is particularly great. "How is it great?" ""I can wear sunglasses every day and see fireworks every day. You know this is what girls like most" "Then what do you do?" "I am a welder""

13. Once upon a time, there was a farmer who had a lot of watermelons in his field. The watermelons in the field were often picked by children nearby. The farmer was very upset and finally came up with a solution. So a signboard stood in the field, which read, "One of the watermelons here is poisonous!" That night! The little ghosts still came to the watermelon field, but when they saw the notice board, they disappeared with a bang. The next day! When the farmer saw that the watermelon was safe and sound, he was very pleased with himself. Unfortunately, I found that the notice board had an extra line: "Now there are two..."

14. Recently, I had nothing to do and taught my son how to squat horse stance at home. He said: If you are good at squatting horse stance, no one can knock him down. you. After my son squatted for a few days, he asked me to give him a punch. I gave him a few fake punches and said he was so powerful that I couldn't beat you. Who would have known that yesterday afternoon my son came home crying and said that a boy next door who was 2 years older than him was beating him. After asking, he found out: My son was squatting on horseback outside and said to the boy next door, "hit me hard," and the boy really hit him. After marrying him, he was knocked to the ground. I really don’t dare to lie to children anymore. Jokes for children aged 8 to 12 3

Where is the sugar?

Teacher: "Classmate Lingling, please make a sentence using the word 'sugar'."

Ling Lingling: "I'm drinking milk."

Teacher: "Where's the sugar?"

Lingling: "It's in the milk!"

Better than me Xiao

Xiaohong pointed to the map and said: "This is Guangdong, we live here."

"

The 5-year-old girl said: "Guangdong is younger than me, how can we live there?"

Reasoning

The two children were discussing;

Child A said: "Aunt Zhang's belly has become so big now! Mother said that she is already pregnant with the child, and it is a girl. "

Yihai said: "My uncle's belly in the country has become very big now! So, he is also pregnant with a child. But, I don’t know whether uncle is pregnant with a boy or a girl?"

Boy A said: "Do you still need to ask? Aunt Zhang is a woman and is pregnant with a girl; your uncle is a man, of course he is pregnant with a girl. It's a boy!"

Heat increases and cold shrinks

Wanwan (10 years old): We have learned how to increase heat and shrink.

Mom: What do you know? Is it called thermal expansion and contraction?

Wanwan: It means that it becomes larger when it is hot and smaller when it is cold.

Mingming: I know, summer is hot so the holidays are long, and winter is cold so The vacation time is short.

Father and son

"Dad, why do you have white hair on your head?"

"The son is disobedient, so let dad Don't worry, dad has gray hair on his head!"

"Then dad, you are worrying grandpa too much. Grandpa already has gray hair. "

What is "happy"

My little niece once asked me: "Uncle, what is happy?"

"When people are happy, they are happy. happy. "

"So does caring mean being unhappy?"

Playing with a flashlight while sleeping

Before his 5-year-old son fell asleep, he said to his mother: "Mom , give me the flashlight. "

"Why are you playing with a flashlight while sleeping?"

"It's not playing, I'm dreaming about walking on a dark road and can't see. "

What is on the top of your head?

The father taught his son how to read. When he learned the word "天", in order to deepen the child's impression, he asked him: "What is on the top of your head? What?"

The son thought for a while and said: "Hair. "

"What about the hair?"

"The roof. "

"What about the roof?"

"The tiles. "

The father became impatient and banged the table: "Idiot! Take a good look, what else is on it?"

The son was so frightened that he cried "Wow": " And... there are birds flying..."

Eating fish and eating chicken

Child: "Dad, Xiaohua's father is a very good swimmer. What do you do? No?"

Dad: "Xiaohua's dad always eats fish, so he can swim. Dad, I don't often eat fish, so how can I swim? "

Child: "But, dad, you always eat chicken, can you lay eggs?"

Grow up to be a teacher

Father: "The teacher is at the parent-teacher conference The teacher told me that you always like to talk in class and you need to correct it in the future.

"

Son: "Why do you need to correct me? The teacher talks many times more than me in class!"

Father: "That's the teacher lecturing. How can I speak without talking? ?"

Son: "Don't you often say, 'Everything must start from childhood'? I want to be a teacher when I grow up. How can I do it if I don't practice now?"

Touhe The tail is out

Xiaoqiang just learned how to look up the word in the dictionary. One day, he wanted to look up the word "Yu", but after searching for a long time, he only found the word "田". Xiaoqiang became angry:

"Why are you so shy and afraid to come out!" After a while, Xiaoqiang turned to the word "A". Now Xiaoqiang was happy: "So you were afraid of me, so you didn't dare to show your head, so you stuck out your tail!" "

After a while, the smart Xiaoqiang saw the word "Shen" again, clapped his hands and laughed and said: "Haha, now the head and tail are sticking out!"

Play the piano

Mom: Dadai, wash your hands before you can play the piano! Dadai: It doesn’t matter, I just play the black keys!

Don’t be afraid

One day, the police They found a little girl wandering alone on the street. She couldn't tell her name or where she lived. The police reluctantly began to search her pockets, hoping to find some clues. The girl didn't resist, but she said softly. He said tenderly: "Don't be afraid, I don't have a gun. "

Peacock

Little Mary went to her grandmother in the country. One day, she was playing in the garden and saw a peacock, which she had never seen before.

Planting birds. After watching for a while, she secretly ran into the house and shouted: "Grandma, come and see! One of your hens is blooming." "

Historical Stories

Xiao Ming always pesters his father to tell him historical stories. Dad: "Okay! Once upon a time, there was a frog. "Xiao Ming: "Oh! People want to hear historical stories!!" Dad: "Well, in the Tang Dynasty, there was a frog. "

Eat and drink

"Let's play the game of the zoo!" 6-year-old Carl said to his mother. "How to play?" "It's very simple, I will be a little monkey. , you act like a tourist and feed me jelly, peanuts and chocolate. "

Between hands and face

Mother: "Your face is still clean, but why are your hands so dirty?" Son: "I just wiped my face with my hands. "

She has a bad memory

How is your teacher? She has a bad memory. Just now she said 1 1=2, and now she says 3-1=2

Why are we called students?

Dad: "Son, you are in junior high school. Do you know why you are called students?" Son: "I know, we only learn things and don't learn them." Cooked stuff!"

Take a rest

My son did something wrong and cried for an hour after being scolded by me. I ignored him. When he stopped crying, I asked him: "Are you not crying anymore?" The son replied: "It's not that I'm not crying anymore. I want to take a rest." "

Do you understand "things"?

One day, my aunt said to the children in her class (she is a kindergarten teacher): "You must be sensible!" Suddenly there was a The child said loudly: "Teacher, I still understand five!

How many cats should I keep?

The physics teacher talked about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example, if you stroke a cat's fur backwards, you can see sparks of electricity. ""Oh my gosh," cried a little girl, "how many cats do you have to keep in that power station?"

No parts were lost

"Dad, I took the TV apart and Reinstalled. I just want to see the structure inside. "

"Thank God, you didn't lose any parts, right?"

"Not only did you not lose them, but there were more than a dozen more!"

My son looked at it. Basketball

The father held his five-year-old son on his lap and watched the basketball game with rapt attention.

When the child saw the athletes desperately grabbing the ball, he asked: "Dad, basketball must be very expensive, right?"

The father was surprised and said: "My dear, why do you think so?"

The child said: "If it's not expensive, why don't they each buy one?"

The lying teacher

On the first day of school, Bobo Go home from school.

"How is the new teacher?" Mom asked.

"It's not good at all, she likes to lie."

"How could it be? Don't talk nonsense."

"In arithmetic class, she first said 3 plus 3 is equal to 6; after a while she said that 2 plus 4 is equal to 6; before the get out of class was over, she said that 5 force 1 is equal to 6. "

The difference between wisdom

"Teacher, you. Why is your head bald?"

"That's very clever."

"Then I'll just shave my head."

"That's just being smart. . "

Hey. Human words don't count!

A hungry wolf was looking for food and heard a family member lecturing a child: "If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolves!" However, the child cried all night...

The next morning, the wolf sighed: "Hey... human words don't count!"

Don't worry

Mother and son went to the zoo and arrived at the iron cage where the lions were kept. before. The mother said: "Child, don't get too close!"

The son replied: "Mom, don't worry, I won't hurt it."