Send a joke

1. Can you talk to me? In a bad mood, just because you quarreled with your friends! Do you know that?/You know what? I almost got into a fight with them because some of them said you wanted a monkey, while others said you looked like an orangutan. That's too much! They didn't treat you like a pig at all! 2. Lord, meet my requirements and bless those who don't miss me, don't call or send text messages. May he stay squatting after going to the toilet without paper. Amen. A mosquito stung on his left arm and drank a lot. You were awakened by a sting. At the moment when you waved your right hand to hit the mosquito, the mosquito said to you, "Your blood can flow in my body!" " 4. Donor: Hello! We are the Tibetan Buddhist Committee. When you receive this message, we have deducted the donation from 50 yuan from your mobile phone. In order to thank you, this bureau grants you the highest legal number-mental retardation. Your clothes are clean and environmentally friendly, your body is crystal clear and soft, your skin is white and smooth, your figure is well-proportioned, your edges and corners are sharp, and your breath is fragrant. I really like you, dear Zongzi! 6. I will follow you wherever you fly; Wherever you go, I will chase you and kill you-the fly. 7. You never use skin care products, but you have smooth skin, naturally watery eyes and a light-colored dress. At night, your songs accompany me to sleep, oh! Dear frog. 8. I don't care if my hair is long, my clothes are dirty, my beard is messy, and my image is male or female. I go to bed at noon and never want to raise my hand. Who is it? It is you. 9. This is a terrible story. When you wear black clothes in front of the mirror at midnight 12, you will see-dandruff 10. Newton was hit by an apple and found gravity; When Columbus sailed around the world, he discovered the new continent; When you look in the mirror, wow! You found a primitive man! 1 1. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever? -Stop dreaming, wash and sleep! 12. My mother told her five-year-old son that I had no money. My son, who often goes to ATM with his mother to withdraw money, immediately said, we can dig money out of the wall! 13. Without wind, clouds will not move; If there is no air, you cannot breathe; If there were no sun, the moon would not shine; If it weren't for you ... fools wouldn't exist. 14. Do you want a good tooth? Give you three experiences; First, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, eat less snacks; Three, mind your own business! 15. Remember to eat roast duck together? You like eating duck's ass. As soon as the food comes, you put it in your mouth. I asked: Why is there no duck butt? You pointed to your mouth and said, this is your ass. 16. I really want to leave this world with you and live in a secluded place with beautiful scenery. Just you and me, there is a piece of green grass in front of me. I lie on the grass and watch you … eat grass! 17. When is a beauty? Ask your roommate about the wine. I wonder if you have a girlfriend, brother? There are joys and sorrows, and the moon is sunny and round! I hope it won't be long before they break up 18. I accidentally deleted the phone book. I have no idea who you are. Are you Shen Jingbing? Or is it for sale in Qin? Is that Mei Renxing? If not, then you must be a pig! Pig head!

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "giraffe, giraffe, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! " The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, so she threw the marijuana behind her and ran in the forest with the white rabbit. Later, they met an elephant ready to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "Elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "Elephants look at cocaine and white rabbits, throw cocaine behind them and run in the forest with white rabbits and giraffes. Later, they met a lion ready to fight. The white rabbit said to the lion, "lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" "Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! " The lion looked at the syringe and the rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed to beat the rabbit hard. The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the rabbit?" It is so kind, it cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "The lion said angrily," This bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy. "On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river and went home without catching anything. The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home. On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit, if you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you! A rabbit molested a wolf (the rabbit was very strong) and ran away. The wolf chased him angrily. Seeing that the wolf was about to catch up, the rabbit sat down under a tree, put on sunglasses, read the newspaper and pretended that nothing had happened. At this moment, the wolf came and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree. He asked, "Did you see a rabbit running past?"! The rabbit replied, "Did the rabbit harass the wolf?" "The wolf shouted," no way! It's in the newspaper so soon! ! ! "The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar. An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes. The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true. The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true. The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again. The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again. The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches! The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...