A joke; On the first day of military training in Sichuan dialect, the squad leader ordered: Class One shoots, Class Two carries bombs, and I will demonstrate. group

Sichuanese jokes are funny and miserable!

Joke 1

Sparrows and crows form a dragon gate array together.

The sparrow said, what kind of bird are you?

The crow said: I am your phoenix!

Sparrow: How can a phoenix be as black as your turtle son?

Crow: You know shovels. I'm a Phoenix sulfur-burning boiler. ?

Joke 2

One day, when we were discussing how tall Yao Ming was, Sichuan PLMM, who usually likes to wrangle next to me, wrangled again: "How tall is Yao Ming? There is a man in our hometown who is much taller than him. "

"who?" We asked in unison.

"Leshan Giant Buddha", she said proudly. ?

Everyone fainted, and two people with glasses even fell down. ...

A GG was unconvinced: "No more than 70 meters ..."

But it was interrupted by this Sichuan MM: "Is it only more than 70 meters?"

Another man said confidently, "It's 7 1 meter."

"So, you people don't even know some basic common sense." This MM plausibly said, "People are sitting at 7 1 m, how can you stand up?"

Everyone fell to the ground. ...

"You let him stand up!" This GG is still unconvinced

"Well, people have been sitting on the river for more than 1000 years, and they have been arthritis for a long time. Try it for a few years if you have the ability! " They are completely speechless ...?

Joke 3

A teacher's homework for his students is to make sentences with "pleading" and "demanding". ?

After the exercise book was handed in, one of them answered all his life: Yesterday my mother stewed a pot of pig's trotters. When it was not ripe, my father ate a piece and said, "Please don't move."

Mom said, "I ask you to chew!" " " ?

Joke 4?

The plane shook violently.

Joke 5?

The plane was buzzing with people, some carrying snakeskin pockets, some carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspector was sweating: "Back? Just make up the ticket. You are overweight and old. " "Why? Last time two sacks of potatoes made me cut too old. " Another passenger leaned in and said, "Come on, brothers, have a cigarette. Look at my live chicken bag. If there is no room in the cabin to tie them to the wings of the plane, these balls will be old. Anyway, they can fly by themselves, without consuming the oil of the plane ... "

Zaizai was repaired by his father. He ran to his mother to complain: "Mom, what would you do if someone hit your son?" Mom: "I want to avenge his son!" " "Aberdeen:" ... "

An old lady can't read, but she likes listening to the radio. The weather forecast must be heard every day. One day at dinner, I asked my family, "I have a question." Do you know where it is? It rains almost every day there. "

6. A little mouse on the cliff waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her looked at it and said anxiously, Dad, don't tell it, it's not ours! ()

7. My friends and I went to the top of Mount Tai to watch the sunrise. A friend pointed to the sky and said, "I see it!" " "I saw it too!" At this time, someone in the distance came out with trousers and scolded: "See it when you see it!" " What are you yelling about? "