Full of negative energy jokes

1. A sudden desert storm caused a traveler to lose his way. He only had one apple on him. Whenever thirst, hunger, or fatigue struck him, he would look at the apple in his hand and sip his chapped lips, which would suddenly add a lot of strength. In the end, he died in the desert. Later people lamented that if he had not used China Unicom, maybe the distress message would have been sent out!

2. A rich man was about to die. The two sons were given a blunt hatchet, and they were told to go chop wood for a day. Whoever chops more firewood, I would give him all the property. The eldest son took the hatchet and hurried up the mountain to chop wood. The second son took the knife, looked at it, found a whetstone, and started sharpening it. After a while, he sharpened it, and he went into the house with the knife and said to his father: Take out all the money quickly!

3. The disciple asked the Zen master: "There are too many worldly things. Washing, cooking, boiling water and cutting every day." Chai is very tired and has no time to practice quietly. He feels that the goal of practice is too far away. ?The Zen master silently took off his shoes and poured out a pebble from them. The disciple suddenly realized: "You are saying that it is not the mountains in the distance that make me tired, but the stones in my shoes." The Zen master was furious: "Get out! If you put stones in my shoes on purpose again, I'll kill you." ?

4. What should I do if a person asks a Zen master for advice, but someone always stabs him in the back? The Zen master threw an ax into the sky, and then said: The sky is high and vast, so the sky won’t? Oh, let me go! Zen master, died

5. The Zen master asked: Do you think it is better to have an ingot of gold or an ingot of gold? How about heaping mud? The strong man replied: Of course it is gold! The Zen master smiled and said: What if you were a seed? The strong man replied: Don't be ridiculous. I want to settle this ingot of gold. Let me go quickly. Let go, soul. Light!!

6. The rich man has ten sons who fight every day and are not united. Before he died, in order to educate his son, the rich man took out a pair of chopsticks, first took out one and asked his son to break it, and his son did it. The rich man took out ten more chopsticks and asked his son to break them. The son used his fingers and broke them again. The rich man took out twenty more chopsticks, and the son broke them again using the power of his Vajra finger. The rich man said sadly: "It's okay, I'll die first." ?

7. Before the rich man died, he called his ten sons to his bedside: Dad is leaving soon? Before that, I want to tell you one last truth. Bring me some chopsticks. My sons, hurry up and grab a handful. The chopsticks were thrust into his hand. ?Dad, please tell me what you mean! First of all, when others are so serious, you should at least prepare washed chopsticks for them. Feeling the wet, sticky and greasy hands, the rich man wants to cry without tears.

8. In a speech, a famous speaker held up a 20-dollar bill in his hand and asked everyone: Who wants these 20 dollars? One hand was raised stand up. He went on to say: "I plan to give these 20 dollars to one of you, but before that, I have to do one thing." ?He crumpled the banknotes into a ball as he spoke, and then asked: ?Who wants more?? No one raised their hands. I just heard the people in the audience comment: "This money is too fake. Look at his hands, the color fades when he rubs them." ?

9. If a man can do these 10 things for you: 1. Tell you your QQ and bank card passwords. 2. Winter allows you to put your hands into his body. 3. Allows you to check his phone at any time. 4. Hold your hand when crossing the street. 5. Don’t hang up on you first. 6. Don’t speak loudly to you. 7. Introduce all his friends to you. 8. I don’t feel tired when I go shopping with you. 9. Tie your shoes on the street. 10. He is a second-generation official. ?Then, just agree to marry him first!

10. The richest man in the city told a child how he became the richest man from a bad gambler: ?I once lost only one piece of my property. Watch, I decided to change my way of life, so I sold the watch for 10 pounds of apples and used the money to sell another 15 pounds of apples, and then later. ?Sir, I think I understand. ?You understand your sister, but later I felt it was too boring, so I used the money from selling 15 pounds of apples to buy a lottery ticket, and then I won 570 million and became the richest man in the city!?

11. A guest When I visited the Zen Master, I forgot to bring a gift. I felt very embarrassed and said, "I came here empty-handed." ?Explanation said to him: ?Then just let it go. The guest was puzzled, so he added: "I didn't bring anything with me, how can I put it down?" The Zen master said: "Fill in the form and donate the organ to the donor." ?

12. A young Zen Master Qing was having tea and talking about Buddhism, and his words were quite proud.

The Zen master took a cup filled with stones and asked: "Is it full?" The young man replied: "It is full." The Zen master grabbed some more sand and put it in, and asked, "Is it full?" The young man replied, "It's full." The Zen master poured another glass of water in, "Do you understand?" The young man: "I understand." The Zen master angrily scolded: "Understood, why don't you serve food! Only when you have something to do can you be full! Just squeeze in and drink tea, are you a water rat!!!?

13. A young man was passing by a certain place. , met an old man and asked: "How is it here?" The old man asked: "How is your hometown?" The young man replied: "It's terrible! I hate it." ?The old man said: ?It's just as bad here. ?Later a young man came and asked the same question, and the old man asked the same question. The young man replied: ?My hometown is very good, I miss it very much. The old man said: "It's just as good here." ?The spectators were surprised and asked the old man why his statements were inconsistent? The old man said: ?Can you control it?

14. The lion mother is educating her children: ?You must run faster. If you go any faster, if you can't outrun the slowest antelope, you will starve to death. The lion's father said from the side: "Don't make it difficult for the child, we are in the zoo, okay?"

15. There was a thirsty crow. When he saw that there was half a bottle of water in the bottle, he thought of asking for it. Throwing stones into the bottle, I found a stone and threw it in. So, the stone got stuck in the mouth of the bottle...

　16 A company was going to hire a driver. After many rounds of screening, only three were left. competitor. The examiner asked them: There is a piece of gold on the edge of the cliff. If you drive to get it, how close do you think you can get to the cliff without falling? It's two meters. ?said the first one. ?Half a meter. ?The second person said confidently. ?I will try to stay as far away from the cliff as possible, as far as possible. ? said the third. In the end, the company hired the one with the lowest salary requirements.

17. Two people met a big tiger in the forest. A quickly took off a pair of lightweight sneakers from his back and prepared to put them on. B was so anxious that he cursed: "What are you doing? You can't outrun the tiger even if you change your shoes!" A said: "I just need to run faster than you." ?So he stopped and started to loosen his shoelaces, take off his shoes, put on his shoes, and tie his shoelaces. A, pawn.