I want five latest funny or creative short messages, preferably related to medicine.

1. A patient complained to the doctor that his stomach was upset recently. I eat cucumber and pull cucumber, and eat watermelon and pull watermelon. Doctor, how can I get back to normal?

The doctor is silent for a moment, and you can only eat shit.

2. Beautiful female doctors are very popular with male patients in hospitals, and there are many romantic and rich pursuers. Of course, they also encounter a lot of sexual harassment. ......

One day, after Mr. Chen finished the infertility examination in the hospital, the beautiful female doctor wanted to check whether the number of sperm in Mr. Chen's body had decreased.

She gave him a small sealed glass jar and told him to take some samples home.

The next day, when Mr. Chen came back, the female doctor found that the glass jar was still empty.

Mr. Chen explained: "Yesterday, I tried for a long time with my right hand, but there was no response. I tried with my left hand, but it still didn't work. I asked my wife to help, and she tried it with both hands, which was useless. " I told her to do it with her mouth, but there was still nothing I could do. "

The female doctor blushed at this.

Mr. Chen always said, "It happened that my cousin came to my house to give gifts. She is young and strong, so I asked her for help. She also used her hands first, then her mouth, and tried hard ................ "

"Stop! Stop! " The female doctor couldn't help it anymore: "Do you want your cousin to help you with this kind of thing?"

Mr. Chen said, "She is very happy! But I still can't! I came to see you and see if you could .................................................................................. "

The female doctor was angry and asked, "What can I do?"

Mr. Chen:

"Can you open the lid of this glass jar?"

3. A couple gave birth to two children, both girls, so they came to the clinic and asked the doctor, "Doctor, modern technology is very developed. What should we do if we want a boy? " The doctor said, "I guess the posture is wrong." Come here, you two ... "After listening to the whispers, they left with joy.

A year later, they came to the clinic again. "Doctor, it's a woman again." , "no, it is estimated that it is still a question of posture! Otherwise, you do it and I will guide you! " At the right time, the two men came to the clinic ... The doctor was beside them: "Left a little, wrong, up a little, still wrong ..." At this time, the wife was in a hurry. "Come, husband, go down and let the doctor come!" .

4. Dissatisfaction of strippers

Stripper Lang: "In our line of work, it's the least cost-effective to see a doctor!" " "

Gynecologist: "How to put it?"

Stripper Lang: "Usually we show it to our guests, and we still have money to get it. Here we show you that we not only have no money to take it, but also pay you. "

Gynecologist: "..."

There is a mental patient lying in bed singing. He turned over and sang again when he sang. The doctor looked at it and asked. "Why do you turn over when you sing?"

The mental patient replied, "Are you crazy? Listen to side A before listening to side B! "

6. A mental patient was sent to hospital for treatment.

After a period of treatment, the doctor called him over and asked, "You can leave the hospital. What are you going to do first after you leave the hospital? " The patient replied, "I want to break all the windows in the hospital!" " Hearing this, the doctor said, "No! I must continue my treatment. "After a while, the doctor found him again and asked," You can leave the hospital. What will you do first after you leave the hospital? " The patient said, "I want to break all the windows in the hospital." "Still no, the doctor said! After a while, the doctor asked him again, "You can leave the hospital. What are you going to do first? " Patient: "I want to get married! Ha ha! The doctor was happy: "What's next?" Patient: "I want a new house. "Doctor:" Then what? Patient: I want to take off my coat. Doctor: "What else?" Patient: "I want to take off my pants. "wow! The doctor asked excitedly, "Haha, again? "Patient:" I'm going to take out the elastic band on my underwear, make it into a slingshot and break all the windows in the hospital! "Ha ha ha!" The doctor is speechless! ! !