English short stories, jokes, etc.

1. Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. Became a faculty member at the State University of New York at Binghamton. One day, the elevator was very crowded and someone complained that the elevator was too inefficient. I said that the elevators had not been replaced in 20 years since I was a student there.

Finally when the elevator door opened, I felt someone pat my back sympathetically, and looking back I saw an older nun smiling at me. "You'll get your degree, honey," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

2. Difference

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

The Difference

"It's easy to tell the difference between the graduate class and the undergraduate class," said a professor who taught engineering classes to our graduate students at California State University in Los Angeles. The teacher said: "I said 'Good afternoon' and the undergraduates said 'Good afternoon'. The graduate students wrote down what I said in their notebooks.

”

3. Too Long

The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long."

too

The travel editor of a newspaper got on the phone and said she had finally decided to use an article I wrote a few years ago. She wanted to make sure the travel information was still reliable. "I still want to make sure." She timidly confessed: "Are you still alive? Every time I find out that the author is no longer alive, I realize that I have suppressed the article for too long. ”

4.Charge for Bread and Butter

Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.

Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."

Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."

The $1.50 was returned without delay.

Bread and butter fee

A few years ago, my father, a lawyer, brought I went to a fancy restaurant in New York. When the bill came, there was a charge of $1.50 for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, along with the charge for bread and butter. But the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurant. The letter said that the charge was unreasonable. Attached to the letter was a $500 bill from a legal service agency.

The restaurant immediately called and asked: "This is $500." What happened to the charge sheet? We have never asked for the services of a legal agency. "

Dad replied, "I never asked for bread and butter. ”

The $1.50 was sent back immediately.

5. Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning ."

"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

Sleeping Pills

Bob had insomnia at night. He went to the doctor, who gave him some powerful sleeping pills.

Bob took his medicine Sunday night, slept well, and woke up before the alarm went off. He arrived at the office, walked in, and said to the boss: "I didn't have any trouble getting up this morning."

"Okay!" the boss yelled, "Then where were you on Monday and Tuesday? ? ”

A collection of English proverbs

/Article/ShowArticle.asp?ArticleID=275

Each bird loves to hear himself sing. Sing.

Each day brings its own bread.

Each man is the architect of his own fate. Fate is in his own hands.

Eagles catch no flies. Big men don’t care about small things.

Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together.

Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. Early mistakes can lead to future trouble.

Early sow, early mow. Those who sow early will reap early.

Early start makes easy stages. Starting early is a guarantee of success.

Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise.