Funny words

Funny words:

1) In order to impress a beautiful freshman, I took the initiative to move her luggage to her dormitory on the sixth floor and threw it from the balcony.

2) In junior high school, a scum in my class liked me. One day after class, he put a love letter in my hand and turned away. At that time, I was so scared that I didn't know what to do, so I gave this love letter to the class teacher. The head teacher opened the love letter and looked at it, then beamed and said: This boy, who has taught him Chinese for two years, didn't stray from the topic when he wrote an article for the first time. ?

3) what supports you to get up early and get greedy for the dark, and still run to work without hesitation in the winter? Still making plans and writing materials at two or three in the morning? Is it love? Is it a dream? Come and read with me! q～i～? ng! Read it again! q～i～? Ng is poor!

4) By bus, there are many people and it is very crowded. In front of a sexy young woman, next to her back, leaning against her sexy body, smelling the fragrance of her mature woman, the second brother who clung to her ass woke up. Because her pants were loose, she was afraid that she would feel it, and her ass moved backwards. Suddenly, she felt a warm little hand tucked into my crotch, rubbing and stroking it for me, hehe! I just smiled, and she liked it, too. Continue to cling to her, with her movements, I also began to gasp, and she glared at me in disgust, hehe! She can really pretend. When the last drop is gone. I smiled contentedly, and was about to leave a phone call. Suddenly, I saw a wretched uncle next to me and smiled at me. I was bored and scared. Did he see it? Just then, uncle raised his left hand and smiled at me. I see it is covered with white liquid! Lie in the trough! I stopped writing.

5) Today, I gave a gift to a buddy. It was too thick and hard to cut. I said that your daughter-in-law was sitting on the ground and typing a car name. She said she didn't know, and then I told him that she was (forced) to (pressed) for the ground. Forget it. Is he still chasing? I've run three blocks and lost my shoes. What can I do?

6) Last night, I wanted my husband to touch me, so I wore new lace panties. As a result, I was not interested in watching TV dramas until late, so I fell asleep. When I got up in the morning, I put on my pants and hurried to work. As a result, I felt insecure all day today, and it was as airy as if I didn't wear them.

7) I heard a super embarrassing thing. Let me tell you about it: an official's son got married and was forced by his official prestige to accompany him. After the guests left, the leader moved to the money counter and counted a pile. The money counter made a sweet sound. Please note that this is counterfeit money! It rang several times in less than a minute, and the leader said with a straight face: Don't light it, this machine is broken, and I went home with the money. According to the sanitation worker, dozens of fake money were found in the trash can downstairs!

8) Just now, a female customer asked me to help her buy some bags of menstruation towels, so she entered Watsons with an embarrassed face. The salesgirl's younger sister asked: What can I do for you? I said: Give me three packs of menstruation towels, which are pleasant and elegant. By the way, they should be of even size and 4 mA. Suddenly, my little sister laughed, and she was even? When you buy clothes, Ma-A? Is it a charging treasure? Theo!

9) I bumped into my ex-girlfriend in the street and really didn't want to stop and talk to her, so I pretended to be on the phone. Unexpectedly, she came straight at me and said, You are pretending to make a phone call! ? Sorry, just a moment. ? I said something to my nonexistent caller, and then turned to my ex-girlfriend. What are you talking about? What makes you say that I pretend to make a phone call and your thumb is on your ear and your little finger is on your mouth. ?

1) It's getting dark day by day. A pair of lovers are walking on the road. As they walk, a woman rushes out, holding the man and crying, saying: I have it, I have it. Girlfriend instantly froze and left in tears. The man looked at his girlfriend and said, I don't know her. Chased his girlfriend and left. The woman watched the two men leave and said with a smile, Shit, I let you laugh when you saw my mother break up last time, hahaha.

11) My father beat me for skipping class. Looking at me lying on the ground, my mother angrily questioned my father:? Why did you beat your son like this? When I heard the wronged crying, my mother immediately grabbed my father's ear. How can I keep beating my son when he cries like this?

12) As the wedding approached, my mother-in-law once said at the dinner table that she should not be too nice to her, but she should still fight. I caught a glimpse of her father's eyes flashing with love, and his girlfriend's eyes flashing with cunning. After the first quarrel after marriage, she scratched me beyond recognition. Afterwards, I mentioned that sentence to my father-in-law privately. My father-in-law said with profound meaning: Are you sure your mother-in-law meant that sentence to you?

13) When I saw a pair of trousers while shopping, I said to my mother. I want to buy these pants. ? Mom immediately handed the wallet to dad and spread out her hand and said, I didn't bring my wallet out. ? I turned my eyes to my father for help. My father nodded, handed my wallet to my mother and spread out his hand. What a coincidence, I didn't bring it either. ?

14) I remember when I was a child, I went to the river to take a bath, and a little friend suddenly stopped moving and was all tense. But it scared me so much that I thought I had a cramp, but that idiot shouted at me. Come on, hurry up, I'll hold a fish with my leg.

15) The teacher said on the stage: Students, shall we play idioms solitaire? I say the first two words, and you answer the last two words. ? I almost peed excitedly when I heard it. This is my buddy's strong point. I only heard the teacher say: Children's words are so simple that I jumped up without thinking and replied: Big breasts! ? Now I'm standing at the door being baked by the sun.

16) It is said that chatting ends? Hehe? I don't believe this evil. Last night I chatted with the goddess. I said? Aren't you beautiful? , she replied? Hehe? ! In order to continue the chat, I replied decisively? Hehe, why don't you pull a wall? ! So we scolded each other all night.

17) mom:? What's the matter, daughter? You look sad all day? I said:? Ugly, life is too hard, I can't find a job and I don't have a boyfriend. ? Mom:? Don't ruin yourself! Look at Xifeng, she's not much better looking than you. Isn't she doing well?

18) I once chatted with the goddess as follows: Me: Are you there? Goddess: Hmm. Me: Let's talk for a while. Goddess: Hmm. Me: Be my girlfriend. Goddess: Ah. Me: I'm serious. Goddess: Oh. Me: Is this an occupational disease? It's always uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. The goddess is speechless.

19) A young lady saw the B-ultrasound examination list given by the doctor, but she didn't know where to do it. Miss: Doctor, where is this thirteen-super? Doctor: It's not a 13-ultrasound, it's a B-ultrasound! Miss: Your B score is too open! (loudly)

2) On a spring breeze night, a girl knocked on my door. I asked her who she was, but she shook her head and said nothing, but began to undress. After that, she would come on time every Wednesday without saying a word. A month later, the girl finally spoke: Director X, can I have the role? I pointed to the floor and said, Director X's house is downstairs, dear! ?

21) I remember that there was a power outage in the evening class in high school, and I waited for a long time and didn't come. Then the teacher told everyone to go home. Just as I left the corridor, I saw that all the lights were on suddenly. I will never forget the next scene: just watch all the students rush outside the school at a speed of 1 meters.

22) The first time I opened a room with a male ticket to catch up with the police inspection, the goods froze and didn't say anything, which made me angry. This is not whoring. What are you afraid of? . As a result, the police uncle was very friendly and said to me: Girl, if this boy treats you badly in the future, you tell me and I'll cut him to death. ? Later, I learned that it was my male ticket's dad. Holy shit, how can I meet my in-laws after that?

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23) My father, who earns 8 yuan a day, bought an iPhone 6Splus for his daughter. Dad never laughed from beginning to end. Today, how many children want American-style freedom and Chinese-style love, but they don't have the independence of American children, and they lose the traditional filial piety of China, so they are too casual and even justified. Life can be pursued, but never compare; You can be vain, but you must rely on yourself!

24) having dinner with friends in the evening, a child at the next table watched Pleasant Goat with an iPad, which was very loud. Not to be outdone, my friend picked up his mobile phone and played the old version of the theme song of Water Margin! On the one hand, it is pleasant goat and beautiful goat, and on the other hand, it is time to shoot.

25) When I was a child, I went to school. English? Read as? Should interest be paid? My classmate became the president of the bank. Wash in the gutter? He became a peddler of small dishes. Causal connection? He became a philosopher. Hard to change history? He became a politician. Go to England? Has become an overseas Chinese. And I, accidentally read it? Should be exhausted? As a result, ordinary workers have worked hard.

26) Today, Erhuo deskmate went to the toilet without paper and sent me a message asking me to rescue her. She was in class at that time, and it took a long time to get there. I met her halfway and asked her how she got out. She said that she had wasted three dollars. Three dollars!

27) There is a five-year-old child at home who loves money a little. He collects all the pieces and eight hairs that his father and I throw casually on weekdays and puts them in his piggy bank. This is the premise. One morning, my son couldn't afford to stay in bed. I called him several times, but he turned to sleep again with a sigh. At this time, the second-rate husband suddenly made a move: throwing a piece of steel shovel to the ground with a bang. Just watch my son sit up, rubbing his eyes and saying: money! It seems rich! I laughed on the spot.

28) A friend was in a bad mood at night. His father found out and said: I'm in a bad mood. Let's go and eat hot pot. ? My friend was very excited, and then went downstairs. Just three minutes after leaving the car, his father asked if he was in a good mood. My friend nodded, and then his father silently turned around and went home. That night, their dinner was instant noodles and two fried eggs.

29) At noon, at my friend's house for dinner, my friend asked me: Do you regret talking to her for so long? I said, the second stupidest thing I have done in 25 years is to fall in love with her and talk to her for three years. Friend: Oh? What about the first stupid one Me: I didn't marry her.

3) When I got home from my salary and just opened the door, my wife plunged into my arms and cried, Honey, I was robbed today. I quickly comforted her: huh? Are you hurt? Did you call the police? The wife said: I was not injured, but I was robbed of more than 1 yuan. I'm relieved: I'm glad I'm not hurt. If you lose the money, just lose it. I'll give it to you. Say that finish hands to pay. My wife smiled through tears: You see, he robbed me of my money, but I also robbed him of his dress and shoes. Oh, yes, I also robbed this bag. Nimei, I think I was robbed.

31) When my wife heard her husband crying at night, she woke him up and asked him what was wrong. The husband said that he dreamed that he was married again. My wife said that's good, didn't you want to find another one long ago? Why are you crying? You should be happy. The husband said: when the bridal chamber is uncovered, it's still you!

32) A couple quarreled, and the wife got angry and went back to her family. A few days later, my wife suddenly wanted to go home. Her mother:? You forgave him? Wife:? No way! I didn't want that bastard to live a good life at home alone when I went back! ?

33) The buddy asked his girlfriend to go to the movies together, and waited for more than two hours before his girlfriend arrived late. Buddies complain:? Why are you so slow? ? Girlfriend disdains: You think everyone is as fast as you! ?

34) In the early morning, the girl Xiao Li came home from work and suddenly met a man grabbing a bag. A kind-hearted guy spread his legs and helped her chase it. Although he didn't catch up, the guy stayed with her all the time and went to the police station to make a record. When the hero saved the United States, Xiao Li was moved to abandon it, and he had a good impression and left each other a phone number. Unexpectedly, the hero and the bag snatcher were friends, and the bag snatcher was his plan.

35) My college roommate fell in love with the class teacher, but the class teacher's family didn't agree, forcing her to marry someone else. The day before she got married, her roommate asked her out, and that night there were tears, sweat and that kind of water. All the water has drained away! What a good teacher! He taught his students everything!

selection of funny words:

1) Buddha said: it takes only a moment to reach out and it takes many years to hold hands. This is absolutely the truth. In the last century, when a man saw a beautiful woman in the street, he couldn't help but run over and hold her hand. As a result, he was sentenced to eight years for hooliganism.

2) Seeing my wife's busy figure in the kitchen made my heart ache, which really made my wife busy because of these family chores. I said to my wife, you have a good rest, let me do this! My wife said, honestly kneel down and cook instant noodles. I can do this myself!

3) I just went to the ATM to withdraw money, and when I entered the password, a big brother behind me kept staring, so I turned to my big brother and said, Brother, no, I'm typing the password. What are you looking at? . I saw big brother say very calmly:? Oh, nothing. I just want to see what money I can get out by inserting my ID card. ?

4) a: I did the most manly thing, that is, I stole 1 yuan from my wife's purse, bought Bao Zhonghua and knelt in front of her and smoked. B: Stealing money from your wife when you are so big? Without ambition, I always take it directly from my son's change jar.

5) A man wants to break up with his girlfriend, who hysterically yells: You ungrateful thing, I am so kind to you. I will give you clothes when you are cold, and I will make you delicious food when you are hungry. Even if you come back late, I will wait for you to go to bed before I dare to wash and rest! The man couldn't help but say, that's because you dare not face me!

6) I made an appointment to meet a female netizen. When I arrived at the appointed place, I saw her exactly like the photo. She was a college girl. Then I went to say hello. She looked at me blankly and told me, Uncle, you need money to grow like this.

7) The landlord's daughter fell in love at the age of 18. Three months later, the man cheated on her and was heartbroken. She has been single ever since. I have nothing to do with my predecessor. Seven years have passed. A while ago, I met the Shenzhen subway and recognized each other at a glance. Seven years later, you were 1.63 meters, and now you are still 1.63 meters. Is that cheating karma?

8) Today, I went shopping with my dad and took a fancy to a mobile phone, which cost 15 yuan. I said to dad, you take half of the pocket money your mother gave you for a month, and I'll take half of this month's living expenses and buy him. Dad thought about it, gritted his teeth and said, OK! So I readily took out 7 yuan, and my father trembled and pulled out 3 yuan from the sole.

9) China University has been poisoned, so why does MIT still play the low IQ crime of shooting?

1) Why do sanitary towel advertisements use blue liquid? Because using red will affect Sino-Japanese relations!

Reading recommendations about funny words:

1. The funniest words in 216

2. Super funny words.