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A man sells popsicles in the market for the first time.

Sorry to peddle, there is a man shouting "selling popsicles".

He had to shout, "Me too."

The father said sternly to his daughter's boyfriend, "You only take my daughter to the movies every day, can't you do something else?"

The young man was surprised and happy: "You mean you can do other things?"

Two birds saw a hunter aiming at them.

One said, you protect the scene and I'll call the police!

Two drunks are driving at full speed.

A: "Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead. "

B: "What? Aren't you driving? "

A customer ran into the tailor's shop angrily.

Pointing to the fashion designed by the shopkeeper for him, he said, "I stood on the street corner yawning and two people put letters in my mouth!" " "

A farmer's daughter was so ugly that he had to let her be a scarecrow in the corn field to scare crows.

As a result, not only did she scare away the crows, but even three crows were scared to send some corn back.

An obstetrician and gynecologist started his own business,

After returning home on the first day, his wife asked him, "How did you behave today?"

The doctor replied, "It's not too bad. Although neither the mother nor the baby was saved, the baby's father was finally saved. "

China, Americans and Jews drink together.

Three fly flew into their drinks,

Americans have an important drink,

China people drank it carelessly,

The Jew caught the fly and shouted, spit it out! Spit out your drink!

The latest joke

Nine out of ten households in a residential area have installed security doors, but only one has not. One day, nine families were stolen together. Only the thief on the door without the security door wrote: don't worry about me, I will worry about you!

The weasel proposed to the little police dog, and everyone laughed: he is a flower of the public security expert system, you count that. The weasel is angry! Blow on my ass and say to everyone, smell my ass? Laozi is a petrochemical system!

I like to get to the bottom of things since I was a child. I want to be a detective when I grow up. Now I am the editor-in-chief of a newspaper. What about you? ""I like playing since I was a child. When I grow up, I want to go shopping with a lot of money. Now I am a bus conductor. "

After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. His wife was not afraid, but said softly, "Mao Ge, stop screaming. My husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet."

A: "What is the most painful thing in the world?" B: "Work." "More painful?" "Go to work every day." "More painful?" "overtime." "No matter how painful it is." "Work overtime in vain!" A: "wouldn't it be painful if you didn't even have to go to work tomorrow?" B: "Why don't you kill me now!"

0 saw 8 and said: sample, fat is fat, and it is tied with a belt; 7 said to 2: kneel down, I won't marry you for 500 years; 6 to 9: Cool is cool, but also stand upside down; Seeing 3 and 8 running around crying, big brother, who cut it?

A leader said: children are flowers of the motherland and growing saplings. But people are constantly surpassing life. What will happen in the future? A person in the audience replied: Greening the motherland.

If you accidentally mix into society, it is futile for the prodigal son to turn back. Now I am in such a mess, wearing factory clothes and suffering from foreign crimes. Bigger things have meetings to attend, and people have to wait in line if they can't eat well. I have to pay taxes to earn some money. This is fucking society.

Prank joke: "Pig Lang, another year has passed, and it's time to end between us!" " "Yulan, give me another chance. If I fool around with Chang 'e again, I will become a piggy reading text messages next year! "

A big mouse strayed into a flower shop and was chased by a Xiaohua Mall. Finding that there was no way out, the rat picked up a bunch of roses to prepare for low resistance. When Xiaohua Mall saw it, he immediately lowered his head and said shyly, Sorry, I'm still young!

Lao Zhang made a report: "Comrades, my speech is as bad as a sheep taking a shit." The audience burst into laughter at once. He went on to say, "Please forgive me if it is not to everyone's taste." Everyone was dumbfounded.