Let's tell a cold joke. I'm in a little bad mood. . . thank you

Mosquitoes go into town! I was so hungry that I saw a big wave of high-breasted young ladies, so I plunged into it and found that my mouth was full of silicone, so I sighed: Alas! Food safety is too problematic. When can I ... drink safe milk ... A fat man fell from the twelfth floor. It turned out to be a fat man! Mother took her daughter back from kindergarten and asked on her way home, "What English did the teacher teach today?" The daughter said, "Big Sprite." Mother is confused. The next day she went to the kindergarten and asked the teacher. The teacher said, "I taught the capital letter' B' yesterday."

Fourth place:

Two bananas go shopping in tandem. Walking, the banana in front felt very hot, so I took off my clothes. Guess what?-The banana in the back fell off.

Fifth place:

A black cat saved a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later? It said, "Meow-"

Sixth place:

Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast. The second tomato asked: Where are we going? The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk?

Seventh place:

Once upon a time, there was a steamed bread walking on the road. It walked and walked and suddenly became hungry ... so it ate itself. ...

Eighth place:

When a polar bear is idle and bored, he pulls out his hair, one, two, three. ....................................................................................................................................................

Ninth place:

There's a match It walked, walked, walked, walked ... suddenly it felt itchy, so it scratched, scratched, scratched ... later ... it set itself on fire and finally went out ~ ~

No. 10:

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks. ..

No. 1 1:

There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet. ...

No. 12:

When will Chen Shui-bian be reunified? When buying instant noodles.

No. 13:

[Illegal picture link] Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. . Cry, cry. . He flew. ...

No. 14:

An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road, fell to the ground and became a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and became a bad guy. An egg got married and became an asshole; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and became a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; There is an egg. ...

No. 15

I went to change my driver's license today, and the red light stopped at an intersection. As a result, a mother was holding a child, and there was a bigger one in front, which was stopped by the traffic police ... The traffic police said, "Miss, even if your child doesn't wear a helmet, why don't you wear it yourself?" This doesn't make sense! Mother said, "children can't buy such a small one!" " ! The traffic police said, "but bring it yourself!" ! "Mom said," Why should I take it? If anything happens to my child, I don't want to live! ! 」

No. 16

What will Kirin become when it flies to the North Pole?

....

Ice cream. .

No. 17

A wolf came to the North Pole, accidentally fell into the sea of ice, and what became after being fished out?

.. betel nut ...........

No. 18

A senior has a crush on a girl who meets every day after school, but has no chance to get close to her.

One day I followed the girl to a noodle restaurant and finally got up the courage to talk to her: "Miss! What's your name? "

Girl: "Beef noodles."

No. 19

Four people are playing mahjong in the room. The police came and took five people away. Why?

Because the person they hit is called "Mahjong".

20(th)

There was a man who ventured alone in the forest.

Suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals.

So he shouted to the sky:

"I'm dead, God help me!"

I see a light in the sky.

There is a voice:

"Not necessarily,

Then you pick up a big stone on the ground,

Kill the leader. "

So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground,

Hit the chief hard,

Shoot the director directly.

All the people stayed for a while,

Then he glared at each other,

Then there was a voice in the sky:

"Now you are really dead."

No.2 1

Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?

Xiaohua: No, I'm useless.

Bug: Are you really useless?

Xiaohua: I'm so useless!

Bug: Alas, you are the17th person to admit that you are useless.

Xiaoying borrowed a pen from Xiaoming, but Xiaoming didn't.

Xiaoying: I will die if I borrow it. ...

So Xiaoming lent his pen to Xiaoying. ...

After a while, Xiao Ming died. ...

22(nd)

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

No.23

One day, a skeleton came to a bar and said to the bartender, give me a glass of beer and a mop. ...

24(th)

One day, the meat bag met a banana on the road.

Banana said to the meat package, it's so hot! I want to take off my coat. Then take off the banana peel.

Not to be outdone, the meat bag took off its own skin.

I didn't expect bananas to yell at meat buns:

Shit!

25(th)

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day, squatting in front of the hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor was dressed in black with a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two men were silent for a month.

Finally, the old lady said:

I'm sorry ...

Are you a mushroom, too

Is this enough for you to see? If not, I will give them to you.