A cold joke that makes you tremble with cold.

A cold joke that makes you tremble with cold.

1. One day, a young lady came home on a tricycle. When she got home, the driver asked her for money. The young lady said that it was easy for me to accompany her to eat, drink and go to bed. The driver added: It's not easy for you, but it's easy for me when the wheels turn and the frozen ball shakes.

2. A county magistrate was dismissed and became a vegetable in a rage. He was taken to the hospital, and the doctor diagnosed him and said, It might be good to read him a notice of reinstatement. ? His wife thought: since you want to study, you should study as a director to make him happy. ? Hearing this, the magistrate stood up and stopped laughing. Medical exclamation:? If you don't follow the doctor's advice and increase the dose without authorization, you will be at your own risk! ?

3. A buddy was arrested for puppy love and called his parents. The teacher asked: Your son is puppy love, take care of it. ? As a result, the father said, I know, that girl is pretty. ? . Teacher:? I know you don't care. How can I be a parent? As a result, his father was angry: tube? Don't let him date, you will marry when you grow up! ?

4. The most useless word in the world: 1. Policeman: "Don't run!" 2. National football: "Be sure to win!" 3. Teacher: "Students, don't sleep!" 4. Patient: "Doctor, please be gentle!" 5. Parents: "Stop it, son!" 6. Criminals: "I am wronged!" 7. Man: "I swear!" 8. Female: "No!"

5, the mother teaches the child to pee, pull the zipper, pull it out, pull it back, pee four times, push it forward five times, put it back six times, and pull the zipper seven times. The little boy has grown up! One day, her mother heard him shouting outside? Three, five; Three, five? !

6. A group of women exchange their own? Sex? Life. Single women speak vividly and are full of sexual interest, while housewives are dull and silent. The housewife asked enviously, Do you do this every day? Single woman said:? That's not true. ? The housewife asked:? Why? Single woman said:? We must use your time. ?

7. Have a dinner at work and have fun. A male colleague's wife called to check the post, and he gestured to everyone? Shh? Gestures, and then seriously began to answer the phone, when a female colleague quietly walked behind him and said to his phone: "Go to sleep there."

8, a village engaged in family planning, adult men will be ligated. An old bachelor couldn't sit still and went to the family planning office to ask for ligation. The staff was very angry. What are you doing? All vasectomies have wives. What are you doing alone? The old bachelor was also angry and said, all the men in the village have been ligated, so which woman will not blame me if she is pregnant? I'm not that stupid! ?

9. On Sunday, the voice of the staff suddenly came from the radio of the department store. Which parent lost a little boy in a yellow plaid shirt and blue jeans, please go to the reception desk at once. ? A woman carrying a lot of things heard this, and quickly said to the man around her: Dear, let's go to the supermarket to buy some vegetables while someone is babysitting for us.

10, after crossing the Tongtian River, the teachers and students finally breathed a sigh of relief. At this time, the old turtle said, Elder Tang, I think your mentoring has achieved a positive result. I wonder if you can accept the old turtle and become your disciple? Tang Priest quickly waved his hand: No, no! The old turtle is anxious: why is this? The Tang Priest said, Look, my name is Monkey Head and Pig Head. Can I call you?

1 1, this year's class reunion, we have a table for two and a table for one; Five years later, the classmates got together and we were married and unmarried; Ten years later, at the class reunion, we had a table with our children in our arms, and then there was no table; Twenty years later, at the class reunion, we had the original table and the second marriage table. Sixty years later, at the class reunion, we can have a table, but we can't have a table with photos!

12. Going home at night, I saw a young man and a woman quarrelling on the bridge. When I got closer, I realized that it was the woman who wanted to throw herself into the river. I looked at the side and there was no fourth person except me. The man was sincere. My brother walked silently to the river and took a big piss. Then, the woman stopped jumping into the river and slapped the man and ran away?

13, Tang Priest is an authentic Gao Fushuai with a BMW on his crotch and a purple and gold bowl in his hand. The Monkey King, a thug, was followed by the coolie sand monk, and next to him was the pig who delivered the letter. Emperor Tang was sworn brothers, and michel platini was a Tathagata. There are beautiful women who care about going abroad for gold plating, and there are bodhisattvas who protect you at home. It is said that he suffered a lot. In fact, it is a small number of wage earners who suffer. Finally, I directly invited the merits to become a Buddha. This is a naked society!

14. The fox found a henhouse, but he was too fat to cross the fence. So I was hungry for three days and finally went in, but I couldn't go out after eating enough, so I had to go out for another three days. Finally, it lamented that this process was basically a waste of time except for a mouth addiction. Life is like this. Naked, naked, no one can take away the wealth and reputation of lifelong management.

15, what is it? Happiness? Happiness =? Earth? 、? ￥? 、? Clothes? And then what? A field? Happiness means having a place to live, a little money, clothes to wear and a career to cultivate. This is happiness!

16. Pan Jinlian won't meet Ximen Qing if he doesn't open the window; Don't cheat until you meet Simon; Without derailment, Song Wu would not be forced to go to Liangshan; If Song Wu didn't go to Liangshan, Fang La wouldn't have been captured, and he would have achieved great success in Song Dynasty. There will be no shame of Jingkang, and there will be no Qing Dynasty when nomads from the border pass. There will be no closed door, and there will be no opium war in Eight-Nation Alliance. China will be the only superpower in the world, and all other vassals are just clouds. Pan is idle. What the fuck are you doing opening the window?

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