Couplets and jokes about feces

I don't know how to eat my stomach. I keep vomiting. I'm half hungry! I want to throw up, but I can't! That's terrible! I searched the internet and said I could put chopsticks in my throat. Just spit it out! I squatted by the toilet for a long time with a pair of chopsticks! Put it in your mouth. My mother came in! Knock off my chopsticks. Scared! You can't eat shit no matter how hungry you are!

One more

Xiao Ming said to his father, "Dad, all my classmates are very rich. They always show off, and I want to have something to show off. " "Go to the toilet at the entrance of the village and take a shit." "I see." Xiao Ming mused, "You want me to show off to flies that I can shit. People should not value what they don't have in their lives, but should understand what they have. " "No, I'm telling you, our family doesn't even have a toilet. You show off your mother. "