Prose to tell you the truth

Some days ago, something happened at home, and the air conditioner was broken. I had to buy and install it, so I changed to a beautiful air conditioner, which I enjoyed very much. My husband's second brother and third brother are having a thoracotomy because of emphysema, bleeding and intestinal prolapse. How can we stand by and watch? It happened that my leg didn't live up to expectations, and I often felt pain, so I didn't have time to reply to your letter. Now that I'm free, I want to talk with you. Do you think we can talk face to face? I agree in principle, but I really don't have time now. Let's talk about it later. Now I have to fulfill my own wish, my dream. To tell you the truth, since I posted that article in the group, I have no entanglements and no regrets. I have basically expressed what I want to say in these decades in this article. If I replied to your short message after reading this essay, I just thought: I wish I could talk to you honestly, joke and bicker like Xiaoyan. I really don't want to pay attention to my old classmates who have left me for more than 4 years. Whether you believe it or not, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I can't even keep this friendship in the last limited days of my life. Even so, I must accept this gift from God, which is a true self and a true happiness.

Last year, when I attended the 5th anniversary party of Changsha educated youth, I suddenly felt the urge to create when I saw the photo album of the 5th anniversary of going to the countryside and the 11th anniversary of the founding of my alma mater compiled by Changsha educated youth Wen Yuanbo, and the photo album of Lushan amorous feelings and going to the north of Xiangjiang River. Don't laugh at me for being crazy, don't laugh at me for being stupid. I wonder if I can pick up my hobby that I have abandoned for nearly 2 years and write a collection of essays myself in two years. It's all right to say that I don't know much, or that I bite off more than I can chew, but in the end I persuaded myself and picked up a pen. Because this anthology has no utility, it is better to publish it, but it can't be published. It is also ok to print it at your own expense, just for the sake of dreams. I am very happy to attend the educated youth gathering in Changsha, which opened my eyes and made my twilight years a little brighter and upgraded.

First of all, I have to pass the typing test. During my work, the company has no hard and fast index for my typing, so I have not studied hard. I can't type 2 words an hour, and I know nothing about typesetting and modifying articles. It happened that my son went home for five days on the National Day, so I took the time to ask questions. I couldn't remember the five-stroke root, so I had to type pinyin, which was inaccurate. I had to learn typing and typesetting with the help of a dictionary, and now I can finally type six or seven hundred words in an hour. When I first started writing prose, I still couldn't find inspiration. I only wanted to write while reading. I was a stupid person. Because of my slow typing, I was afraid that my thoughts would be interrupted, so I had to make a draft on the paper first, and then type slowly, so I persisted. My cultural background is weak, my environment is limited, I have no chance to study, my work is not easy, my children are sick when I was a child, and my husband has been away for nearly 2 years. Studying in college is just an extravagant hope. Although I studied by correspondence at Lu Xun College of Literature for a year, my writing skills are not good, so I can only fly first. When I saw my essays "Meditation for Reading", "Time and tide wait for no man" and "Wife, Lover, confidante" slowly flowing from my pen and fingers, I felt extremely gratified and happy. From the beginning, I just wanted to pass the time, it evolved into an interest and hobby today, which allowed me to get what I wanted, which I didn't expect.

I'm not afraid of your jokes. It took me almost half a month to write this article, from conceiving the theme, recalling the names of my classmates, to collecting information and typing it. You said, I have not finished, I want to tell you, no, really no. I write about you, and only by telling the truth can I be worthy of myself and you.

My husband is in favor of my writing, but he doesn't look at what I write, which gives me a lot of space. My son is not interested in my prose either. He read a few essays and said they were ok, but now there are several people reading them. As I am his mother, I asked him to help me design the cover and self-portrait head, and he was quite happy, and I was also satisfied. Because from high school in 1997 to now, his days at home are only ten days on average, or in recent years. He went home once a year a few years ago for five or six days. Maybe he knows my difficulties, but I have long been used to the days when my children are not around. As for what others think of my writing, it doesn't matter. In the world, people have their own interests and loves. If I do what I like, I won't care how others think of me.

Now let's get back to it. The reason why I wrote this article is to lament that the swallow left us so soon, and life is impermanent. I was very moved, so when I was free, I found this photo and posted it in the WeChat group. In order to be true, I wrote this essay by asking around about the current situation of my classmates through Manliu, plus my own memories. It's nostalgia, it's emotion, I can't tell myself. After the article was printed, I went to Manliu's house on the Dragon Boat Festival, mainly to check whether the facts were different. I wrote that two students who were still alive died, which almost made a big mistake, and that was disrespectful. The next day, I went to Yizhang No.1 Middle School with Manliu. The green mountains, the teaching buildings and dormitory buildings, and the silver-gray railings aroused my countless leisure thoughts. When I looked up, I had a panoramic view of Yizhang City, which was really refreshing, fleeting and mixed feelings. On that day, I learned for the first time that there was a study test in Grade Two, and I felt that things in this world had changed so much. I couldn't keep up with the situation, and I felt more and more valuable in writing this article. Without Liu Man, I can't write this article, and I won't have this truth and simplicity. After returning to Chen, I revised and supplemented the discrepancies in the tips of Man Liu. Then I sent it to her group and forwarded it to you immediately. This article reached you in this way before returning to Chen. After reading my article that night, you still appreciated its simplicity, clear memory, sincere feelings, and a little warmth and anger. How come only one day later, I sent you a short message, a joke saying, "The article was written by you, and I am your beauty", how did it become to testify against you from various angles? What did I testify against you? I still have some grievances that I can't let go of. I tried my best to let you see my article, just to ask your opinion. Is this wrong? No matter what you think of me, I don't regret it, because we are all classmates anyway.

We are all well-dressed, and Gu Xi is waving to us. The reason why I picked up the pen is that I don't want to be bothered by these things. I want to write something and leave some thoughts while I can still move. I was invited to play cards, but I refused. I really don't know when I will report to Marx. I don't like WeChat either. The place is too transparent. I only read news and health knowledge, and I don't like chatting. I really like and miss writing letters, but who will write letters now? It has long been history, and I am embarrassed to write if I want to.

A well-dressed person's life has long been a foregone conclusion, and his journey has turned into a walk, and his struggle has turned into enjoyment. He is leisurely looking at all the flowers in this world, and it has reached the age of enjoying flowers in spring and looking at the moon in autumn, enjoying the cool in summer and listening to snow in winter. We have been indifferent to fame and fortune, learned to be tolerant, but we are more nostalgic, and we will be merciless when we expose our shortcomings, which shows that we are old. "The setting sun is infinitely good, buried by the coming night", so we should cherish the future days more and live our days happily.

the premise of friendship between two people is mutual appreciation. You care about me because you trust me, and I know you because I know your safety bottom line. You can meet a bosom friend in life, what else can you ask for? I really want to find a confidant to talk about literature and family affairs now, and it would be great if you could help me decompress. If you appreciate me, I will naturally appreciate you; If you bother me, I will have self-knowledge and will not bother you in the future; If you hate me, I won't be bored and stick to you, and I will leave you forever.

don't think that I'm always a sentimental woman who can't get out of being affectionate. That was before, and now I've come out. Don't always think that I am competing with you. I won't. There is no perfect person in this world. It is fate that two people can walk together when they are young; It is happiness to walk together when you are old. We have no chance to hold hands, it is also a beauty, no chance of beauty, don't talk about it, but cherish it in your heart. Do you know that silence is golden?

this is all from my heart, and it is the most sincere expression of my feelings. There is no affectation or disrespect for you. Let's talk about it when we think of it. Some words may be repetitive, and some words will not convey the meaning. I think you are a cultural person and can understand. Generally speaking, we are predestined friends, otherwise, how could we be so concerned and worried? I really hope that these heartfelt words will enable you and me to get out of the past awkwardness and misunderstanding as soon as possible, welcome sincere frankness and blessings, bury the hatchet and cherish what we have now.