Tell me your funniest joke.

1 School began to call the roll. A class teacher was ingenious and said to the students, "I'll look at the student number. You can report your own names and get to know each other, okay?"

"No.0065438 +0!"

"Teacher, my name is Jiao and my name is Jiao Pei." The teacher was a little dizzy and asked, "Who gave this to you?"

"My dad." "What does your father do?"

"Open a pig farm!"

"No.002!"

A girl stood up and said, "Teacher, my name is Zhang and my name is Zhang Dekai."

"No.003!"

"Teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother. My name is Zhang. "Who gave you this name?"

"It's my dad. He sells pliers. " The teacher quickly took a sip of water.

"No.004!"

"Report teacher, my name is Qu (pronounced" ou "), and my name is Qu Ye (oh yeah). This is the name my mother gave me. She said that when she gave birth to me, a computer game exploded. " The teacher felt a little uncomfortable.

"No.005!"

"Report to the teacher, foster mother!" "How do you call names? ! "

"no! Teacher, I mean my last name is Gan, and my name is foster mother. My father makes wine. " The teacher took a pill.

006! "

"Teacher, my surname is Gou, and I am told to ignore it."

"Your dad is a steamed stuffed bun shop? ! "

"Teacher, you are so smart!" The teacher has been a little shaken.

"No.007!"

"My name is Kuai (read fast, send the third sound. ) This is called goods. "

"Don't tell me your father runs a warehouse."

"Teacher, you are too old-fashioned. My father is a pimp. " Blood oozed from the teacher's mouth.

"No.008!"

"Teacher, go to hell!" "What? what did you say ? /Excuse me? ! "

"I mean, my name is Ni, and I'm going to the temple. My mother is a Buddhist. Is my name interesting? "

"Interesting, interesting." The teacher is about to cry.

"No.009!"

"Teacher, let's talk about it next time." "Why do you want to say it next time, you say it now!"

"no! Teacher, my surname is Xia, and my name is Xia Huishuo. My father is a storyteller. " The teacher felt dizzy.

"0 10! "

"Teacher, my last name is Gao."

"My name is Mei, and my name is Mei Conscience."

"My name is Wu, and my name is Kate."

"My surname is Mao, and my name is Mao Rongrong." …………

The teacher turned to the sky and growled, "God, I met a group of students!" " "The teacher spurted blood and fell to the ground.

A teacher asked a student, "What do you mean?"

The students replied: "How means" How ",are means" Yes "and you means" You ". Hello means "hello".

The teacher asked again, "How old do you mean?"

The student replied, "How means how, old means old, are means yes, and you means you. How old are you? It means how old are you.

NO.3 tintin is a lethal person. He often turns a young teacher into an old woman. Just like today the teacher asked him 1+ 1=? He said he didn't know. The teacher told him to go home and ask the teacher. When he got home, Tintin asked his mother who was cooking. Get out of here He asked dad again. Dad is watching the football match, shouting, cool. He went to ask his sister again. My sister is singing, which is almost to the point of being cheap. He went to ask my brother, who was on the phone and said I was waiting for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked him 1+ 1=? What he means is that you leave here. The teacher was speechless, and he shouted "Shuang". The teacher said he was unreasonable, and he said he was mean. The teacher said to come to my office after class, and he said; I'll wait for you outside. The teacher fainted on the spot when going out.

The fourth graduation summary (hilarious)

Hurry, hurry, time really runs faster than rabbits. I can still remember the scene when I was wearing a green military uniform in the sun when I was a freshman, and I soon arrived at the third year of high school. Looking back on the road we have traveled in the past four years, I feel that I have gained a lot. These four years have not been wasted. Now I summarize as follows.

Politically, I am actively close to the party organization. I have reported my thoughts to party member, the only student in my class, and Li Xiaohua, secretary of the Communist Youth League, many times in written or oral form. Although she has been maliciously thinking that I am up to no good and pursuing her, she refused my single date and let it go without reading the written report I gave her. Heaven and earth conscience, from the heart, I do have a good impression on Li Xiaohua, but I will never confuse my great personal beliefs with my children's affair. Although my pursuit has been hit again and again, I can't shake my belief in joining the * * * production party.

I am honest and humble. The road is bumpy, draw your sword to help. When I was at home, I saw a big cock always bullying the little hen. I tried to climb on the back of the little hen several times and pecked the little hen's shallow red comb with my mouth. Isn't this bullying the weak? I was so angry that I picked up a hoe and smashed the rooster into a comminuted fracture. Another time at school, I checked the information online at 3 o'clock in the middle of the night and went back to the dormitory. In the bushes not far from the dormitory, there was a painful voice of a girl whining. I ran over without thinking and found a boy riding on a girl. How dare you arrest our girl at midnight and fight? At that time, I knocked the man out and rescued the lovely unkempt little girl. Although I spent more than 4000 yuan to see a doctor afterwards, I always thought it was worthwhile and was often moved by my heroic behavior. There are also problems such as eating flies in school canteens and charging too much for school textbooks, all of which have been exposed on TV and newspapers. I reported them. Although no one has come to reward me, I think a person should be an upright person.

I treat people warmly. Last time Li Xiaohua's father came to school, I got the news in advance and sent him to school from the railway station. I saw that her father had no place to live, so I took the initiative to vacate the bed. Although Li Xiaohua didn't accept my kindness, my creed of enthusiasm for others hasn't changed. I am convinced that as long as everyone gives a little love, the world will become a beautiful world.

I am willing to help others. In order to help students with financial difficulties, I gave up the opportunity to clean the classroom and dormitory and gave it to a poor student in my class in the form of money, which is far better than just donating money to him, that is, taking care of the poor student's face and cultivating his concept of self-reliance.

I love my Chinese major and strive to cultivate my profound literary foundation. In the past four years, I watched more than12,000 discs day and night on the computer in the Internet cafe, and got a comprehensive understanding of the world film and television art. I am also familiar with the works of modern famous writers such as Jin Yong, Gu Long, Wen Ruian and Liang Yusheng, and have learned them by heart. In order to improve my observation ability, I specially bought a telescope to secretly observe the life of the girl in the opposite building. My accumulation has greatly improved my literary accomplishment and writing level. More than 300 literary works such as poems, essays, novels and jingles have been published on desks, toilet boards and dormitory walls.

In order to improve my quality in an all-round way to meet the needs of society, I taught myself mahjong, poker, table tennis, dancing, drinking and other skills needed by modern society, and they were almost perfect. I have also tasted the sweetness from these skills, and I can basically support myself. Last New Year's Day, I didn't go home. In just two days, I earned a year's tuition and three months' living expenses by mahjong. I like music and singing is very powerful. Students can often hear my loud and clear singing in the bathroom, bathhouse and corridor in the middle of the night. The whole building is sleepless for me.

I love sports to the point of madness. I often miss the three major leagues in Europe. My table tennis level is the highest in my class. When I was a sophomore, our class organized a table tennis match for men and women. Although we boys lost, in terms of losing points, I was the least. I am also good at boxing, diving and swimming. Because there is no venue and opponents, my level can't be played.

In a word, the university gave me a lot, but I got very little in return. The four-year tuition fee is 20 thousand yuan, and I haven't paid a penny yet! I'm ashamed of it! Really ashamed!

Hehe ~ actually there are many more! ~ it's just too much trouble to find ~