Please tell a joke. .

After a young man accidentally drowned and was rescued by passers-by, people around him were shouting, call 120, and go to the hospital quickly. Don't do artificial respiration yet! ! ! "No, it's too late," the rescuer said regretfully, looking at the drowning youth. "He woke up.

Yesterday, the male god and I finally held hands for the first time. We stood face to face, and he held my two hands with both hands. This scene is very romantic. Suddenly found that his right hand was slippery. I asked him jokingly, you don't just apply moisturizer to your right hand, do you? After embarrassing him to stay there, I seem to understand something. ...

Recently, I'm losing weight. Seeing that I've been hungry and crying, my mother took out a lot of snacks from her bag and said cheerfully, Look at Xianbei, Twist, Plum Blossom, Biscuits, Bread, Melon Seeds and Peanuts that my unit is going out to play tomorrow. . . After the performance, it was the same, and finally it was put back in the bag. . . What a real mother!

Military training, the sun is shining; If you have a holiday, it will rain; If you work hard at your homework, it will be the day before school starts. . .

Prescription for all school phobia patients: classes in September are 2 1 day, 10/9 days, 10/0/day, classes in February 19 days, and classes in 8 days. What is inspirational! How inspiring!

Military training instructor: "If your classmate suddenly fainted, what measures should you take immediately?" Me: "slap first to see if it's fake!" " ! ! "

In the middle of the night, Gongsun Ce and Bao Zheng went out to investigate the case. When going out, Gongsun Ce looked at Bao Zheng's clothes and asked inexplicably, "Don't adults wear night clothes at this time?" . Teacher Bao smiled, took off his clothes and ate a piece of chocolate.

The story of Mid-Autumn Festival! When I came home last night, I met two men fighting at the intersection. Many people around were watching, and the police came. I didn't know that the two men were burning paper at the intersection until I asked. When one of them burned paper, he said, "Dad, you didn't spend much money before you died. Now I will burn more for you and get a plane to fly. " Another burning paper heard this and muttered, "Fuck, JB can really blow. Dad, I'll burn more for you and buy a cannon to blow up the plane. "

My friend took me home. When we went downstairs to say goodbye, he silently said, I am relieved that all the people living in your community are good people. I paused, and he raised his mobile phone: "I found five wireless networks, and none of them were encrypted." . . "

You will never understand my sadness. I like rich people, poor people, bullies, scum, handsome men, ugly men, handsome men, short people, fat people and the world. I will always understand the beauty of being fat. Please allow me to be sad.

Some things, once encountered, may ruin your life. A sister of the company once went to see a client, which was relatively remote. While waiting for the elevator, there were three youths who looked like gangsters. She wants to take the next trip, but she doesn't care. Then the elevator broke down and trapped them for half an hour. She said it was the darkest time in her life, because the three bitches looked at her through the elevator mirror, then sat there fighting the landlord and never looked at her again. .