A short joke

One day, eggplant was walking in the street and suddenly sneezed a lot. It wiped its nose and said angrily, "It's taking a photo again!" "

There are 30 frogs in a pool, and only one frog wears underwear. Why? Because he takes a shower! )

There is a pig. He walked and walked until he came to England. What has he become? -Pigs.

In class, the teacher recited the text at will. Piggy, puppy and kitten all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call? -little dog, because want want is humble.

Butterflies, ants, spiders, centipedes, they worked together, which one didn't get paid in the end? -Centipede, because you won't take it for nothing.

The elephant's nose is the longest in the zoo. Who is the second longest? Elephant.

What kind of fruit has the worst eyesight? Mango.

Which two kinds of fruits have mobile phones? -radish and green vegetables, each has his own love.

A turtle walked through a pile of shit, but left only three footprints on it. Why? -There's a foot on your nose.

If there is a car, the driver is a prince and the passenger is a princess, whose car is it? -If

Jin Mu is a land of fire and water, whose legs are long? Ham sausage

Cobra dated the elephant, said hello and said, "Come as soon as you come. Welcome to lead such a big pig. "

An underworld boss caught a glimpse of a young man in an alley and asked him: What is one plus one? The young man was afraid, thought for a long time and said, it's equal to two. The underworld boss quickly took out his pistol and killed him. Leave a message when you leave: You know too much.

I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be a perfect person.

One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying, crying, crying .............................................................................................................................................................. ~ ~ ~

Policeman: "Say, what's your name?" Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan." Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? " Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen."

Two jellyfish collided at the seaside. Jellyfish A: "What the hell! You can't swim with your eyes! Jellyfish B: What are eyes? Jellyfish A: I don't know. Last time I met someone, he called me that. Jellyfish B: Oh! That's right! 」

In primary school science class, the teacher told us that knocking on the knee would lead to knee jump. When I got home, I took a hammer and hit it on my dad's knee. And my dad stood up and kicked me. It turns out that the teacher is right!

If one day I become a hooligan, please remember to tell me that I am innocent.

The first lie in life begins with writing a composition in primary school, and the truth begins with writing a love letter.

When the brothers Grimm wrote Snow White, they were very prescient. The man who finally saved Snow White and lived happily with her is called "Prince Charming". And now the female compatriots all want to find the prince charming in their minds, so why pinch it? Because the pinyin abbreviation of Prince Charming is-BMW, or Z series.

A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted, "honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" " "Hearing this, the man jumped up with a whoosh. The policeman said, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this! "

Shit and urine are good brothers. One day, I was killed by a car when I took a shit crossing the road, so pee said, I really want to take a shit …

Xiaoming: "Mom, my classmates say my head is so big." Mom: "Nonsense, they are all bad children. Ignore them. Go and buy chestnuts for my mother. " Xiao Ming: "What do you use?" Mom: "Use your hat."

Think of a number in your head, multiply it by two, add five, then subtract the number you thought at first, multiply it by eight, subtract five, and then close your eyes and you can't see anything, right?

A classmate secretly loves a PLMM that he meets every day after school, but he has no chance to get close to it. One day I followed MM to a ramen restaurant, and finally got up the courage to strike up a conversation with her: "What's your name, classmate ..............? "MM:" beef noodles. " ................................................

A man fell down while walking. He stood up and walked on, and fell down again. So he said; If I had known, I wouldn't have got up just now.

The drizzle fell on the river, and the river got goose bumps.

Which anime characters are the most involved? Answer: Mermaid (because she can't cheat)

Where's Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

Xiao said to Xiao B: dig the plug ... it's raining outside! ! Have you seen it?

Xiao B is very excited: Yes, I see you.

Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did the ants say?

Xiao a face of vacant ... Said:

Ant, he said nothing.

One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by wolves. Wolves easily destroyed straw houses, wooden houses and brick houses. Three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but the wolf caught up with them.

The three little pigs said in despair, it's up to you. We gave up. Whatever.

At this moment, the wolf smiled and drooled and said, Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is.

Giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The little white rabbit looked at him without expression.

"Also, in summer, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? "

The white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"