28 classic funny sentences to keep you entertained

1. I answered a phone call and claimed to be recruiting students for the CEO class of a certain university. I said I was interested, and the other party asked me what industry I was in. I said IT and communications peripheral services. The other party asked how it works, and I said Consulting and direct sales are provided in densely populated streets and underpasses, he said, specifically? I said it was the linear treatment of polymer compounds on the surface of smart high-end digital communication equipment. He insisted: Can it be simpler? I said it was a film on a mobile phone, and the other party hung up the phone.

2. I went on a trip with my best friend and rested under a tree when I was tired. Suddenly a few drops of bird poop landed on my face. Before I could react, my best friend helped me spread it evenly and said: Your sunscreen is not evenly applied.

3. Booked dinner for the evening Afterwards, I waited anxiously in the dormitory. After a while, someone knocked on the door of the dormitory. I was so hungry that I was a bit brainless. I shouted, "Food, is it you?" I just heard a long voice coming from outside. Well, it’s me. Dear delivery boy, why don’t you be so cute!

4. I saw two children of about five years old playing chess at the door. I took a look and said: This little boy may be able to play chess, but the little girl is just walking blindly. How can the elephant get there? The neighbor glanced at me and sighed: People understand things at the age of five, but you still don’t understand at the age of twenty-five. Do you know why you are single?

5. Heartache, my aunt and sister both started From time to time, they ask me why I haven’t brought my girlfriend back yet, and when do I plan to get married? I was forced to have no choice. I was still young, wanted to play, was too busy at work, hadn’t bought a house in Beijing, was too poor, etc. I gave them all the reasons. They still refused to let me go, so I said I was gay! They answered in unison: Impossible! Isn’t it said that gays are all handsome?

6. There is a classmate in my class named Ma Fei (biao). At an awards ceremony, the principal read out the list of winners. When Ma Fei from our class was mentioned, the principal paused and read: "Biao" The meeting was relatively quiet at that time. I heard Ma Fei say loudly: Principal, my name is Ma Biao. If you don’t call me Ma, the whole meeting was in a state of excitement.

7. Dude, your jeans are torn and you still wear them? This is popular now, you know what? I looked at his leaking anus and fell into deep thought.

8. It seems that I am too young. I watched people practicing driving and passing a cigarette to the coach. They were talking and laughing. I took out a pack of tissues in my pocket and took out one and handed it to the coach. : You wipe your mouth after smoking. Everyone looks at me differently.

9. Police: Why do you want to be a thief? Thief: Because people often say that the way a man takes out money is the most charming. The policeman was speechless.

10. I heard that a Chinese student in Japan was sharing pornographic films copied from China in his dormitory. As a result, a Japanese student was watching, ah! This, this, this is my mother! Then other Japanese students held my shoulders and calmly comforted me, and then sat down and insisted on watching the film.

11. Female: Can a woman turn a man into a multi-millionaire? Man: Yes, if that man is a billionaire.

12. I saw two children of about five years old playing chess at the door. I took a look and said: This little boy may be able to play chess, but the little girl is just walking blindly. Where can the elephant get there? The neighbor glanced at me and sighed: People understand things at the age of five, but you still don’t understand at the age of twenty-five. Do you know why you are single?

13. Police: Tell me, why do you want to be a thief? ? Thief: Because people often say that the way a man takes out money is the most charming. The policeman was speechless.

14. Mentality is very important. Negative people will only mess things up. And once he has a positive attitude, he can happily mess things up.

15. I have a male friend who runs Taobao and is dating a female customer online. After the meeting, I cried bitterly when I came back, saying that this customer was good-looking but too fat, and he agreed not to do it. After he calmed down, I said helplessly: You are not stupid. You sell plus-size women's clothing. What are you blindly doing with your customers?

16. A boy and a girl were on a blind date in a coffee shop. The boy asked for salt in a hurry. The girl asked him why. The boy said I was afraid that you would ask me later if I have a car. Do I have a car? I don’t have salt. To right.

17. Fortunately, the corridors are now full of voice-controlled and light-controlled lights. If face-controlled lights come out one day, I may have to walk from beginning to end in the dark corridor.

18. Just now, I suddenly discovered that my dog ??Xiao Hei is a talented dog. I was about to sit down and eat the hamburger I bought from McDonald’s. Xiao Hei suddenly shouted out the window, as if he was a stranger. It seemed like someone had entered the yard. I went out and looked around, but saw no one. When I came back, I found that Xiao Hei and Hamburger were gone...

19. Did my wife have a rest today? I went to work, and when I came back at noon, I saw that she was in a very good mood and was very considerate. According to her routine, she must have something to ask for. But since she didn't mention a word, I was feeling strange when I went out to the balcony and saw my big winter coat, which was gorgeous. It's cold there, and my mood suddenly fell to the bottom. Brothers, I hid 3k in my winter coat. I won't talk about it anymore, let's see if the stuff behind the refrigerator is still there!

20. I heard that there was a Chinese student in Japan who shared pornographic films copied from China in the dormitory. As a result, a Japanese student watched it, ah! This, this, this is my mother! Then other Japanese classmates held my shoulders and calmly comforted me, and then sat down and insisted on watching the film.

21. Today my friend drove me home. After getting in the car, I lit a cigarette out of habit. My friend pinched my cigarette out and said: Don’t smoke in the car, there will be smoke. taste. I slapped him down, the battery car smelled like your sister’s cigarettes!

22. Beauty, my children say you are so beautiful and want you to be their mother! Where is your child? If you are willing, I will arrange for you to meet in ten months. Can you accept five months? I want to be quiet

23. I just read my husband’s palm, and I found that his lifeline is very long, but mine is very short, so I deliberately said sentimentally: I may only live to be 50 years old! I hope my husband can say something touching, but the second-rate guy was stunned for a moment and said: Then don’t pay for the pension insurance, because you won’t get it anyway!

24. I went to the community supermarket late last night to buy something. Probably because it was late at night, the few people in front of the queue were holding Durex, and I was the only one holding a roll of paper. Damn it, the cashier even said Sigh for me! Sigh for you MB!

25. I was walking with my new boyfriend at night, and suddenly saw two dogs having fun. He looked at it for a while, blushed and asked me: Do you also have such thoughts now? I quickly explained: No, no, no, I am not interested in a male dog!

26. There was a traffic light, there were many people on both sides, and I saw that there were still thirty seconds. I thought of the words of LOL on the Internet again, and a sentence came to my mind: The enemy has thirty seconds to reach the battlefield! Crush them! The people next to me looked drunk and ashamed when they saw my expression. I am a girl!

27. Is there anything more painful than a girlfriend having a flat tire? Yes, it's my boyfriend's fault, which is really painful.

28. When I was a child, my deskmate lent me a video tape. I opened it and took a look: Teenagers under the age of 18 should watch it with their parents. Then I quickly called my parents. I was bruised and swollen for the whole week. 28 Classic Funny Quotes - So Laughing

1. My mother is the head of the family, and my father is poorer than me. I called the handsome guy today, and he happily said to me:

< p> Son, I saved a hundred yuan and I'll check in for you as soon as I can. I burst into tears instantly.

2. Take the last section of the high-speed rail, which is connected to the sightseeing carriage with the most expensive ticket price. When the bus stopped, everyone lined up in front of the car door, waiting for it to open.

The door of the sightseeing carriage opened, and a fat-headed uncle with big ears came out, flanked by two young men in neat suits.

One hand gestured to protect him, the other stretched out, and shouted loudly: "Let me go." Give in, give in. . .

The girl standing at the end smoothed her bangs and said calmly: What to give up, going to the funeral or going to the funeral? Queue up!

3. That day, my neighbor’s sister’s underwear was blown to our balcony by the wind! I was so embarrassed when I found out!

I immediately picked it up and leaned over to her house on the balcony to help dry it again.

Well, then you all guessed it!! The sister next door just walked out and saw me leaning forward with difficulty,

holding her freshly washed panties in my hand. I don't want to live anymore, she thought I stole her panties. . .

4. Passing by the entrance of a shopping mall, I heard a conversation between a girl and the key holder.

MM: Can you provide keys here?

Keykeeper: Sure.

MM: Then give me one. After a few seconds of silence.

The person with the key looked at MM and asked: Where is the key?

MM: Why should I ask you to help me when I have the key?

5. Today at noon, my roommate went to the small restaurant next to the school to fry up braised potato chips and pack them, and the boss packed two boxes. Give it to her, usually a box of vegetables and a box of rice.

When I took it back to the dormitory, I found it was a portion of potato chips and a portion of minced meat and eggplant. . .

I was thinking about another classmate’s expression after he went back and opened the two packed boxes of rice. .

6. In class, the teacher asked questions and no one responded, so the teacher said:

Can you please give me some reaction? I am singing a one-man show above, what are you doing below?

A classmate blurted out: "Watch a show."

7. Opposite the girls’ dormitory is the boys’ dormitory.

It was just dark that night, everything was quiet, and suddenly I heard a boy shouting from the men's dormitory: xxx, I love you!

Immediately, the women on the opposite floor exploded, and they were all envious and jealous of whose boyfriend this was so romantic.

At this moment, another buddy yelled: Who called my name just now?

The world suddenly became quiet

8. When I was in college, we held a welcome party, and our class sang a chorus: "We are all a family."

Before going on stage, the senior brother encouraged everyone: Brothers, don’t be nervous, be calm like the senior brothers.

So, more than a dozen people walked onto the stage with neat steps.

After the senior brother came on stage, he announced the curtain: Now we present a chorus for everyone!

The name of the song is "Our Family is All Human".

9. I have a buddy who is very tall and handsome. When I was traveling, I was so anxious that I couldn’t bear it and rushed to the toilet...

That’s right, guess what? By the way, he entered the women's restroom, and the uncle guarding the door was very mean. He pretended not to see it and let him in.

Just when we were expecting our buddy to be scolded as a hooligan and make a fool of himself, a shocking scene happened.

We only saw a beautiful woman coming out and shouting to her friend: Wow, what a good one just came in. What a handsome guy,

I peeked at him secretly, but didn’t bother him, for fear of scaring him...

10. That day, Xiao Wang was squeezing into the bus, and there was a man next to him. The short, fat woman swayed and stepped on his foot.

The woman turned around and asked: Did it hurt you? Seeing her feeling so guilty, Xiao Wang felt hot in his heart.

He shook his head in embarrassment and said: It doesn't hurt very much. As soon as she finished speaking, the woman immediately said excitedly: Haha, so my weight loss is finally effective!

I have stepped on many people’s feet these days, but you are the only one who says it doesn’t hurt very much.

11. It was lunch time in the cafeteria. Thousands of troops rushed towards the cafeteria with thousands of arrows fired.

One day the two brothers finally rushed to the front, and suddenly A tripped down a staircase in the cafeteria.

The lunch box also fell to the side, and B immediately turned around and looked at A with concern. ,

A raised his head and said: Leave me alone! Run! ! Remember to burn some paper for me after cooking.

12. During the afternoon break, a petite beauty in the class was wiping the blackboard.

Because I am not tall, there is a large area that cannot be rubbed even when I stand on tiptoe.

The way she worked hard aroused my protective desire a lot!

Without saying anything, I walked up to her and said to her kindly: Let me help you. She looked very touched and said: Thank you. Then I put my arms around her waist and lifted her up.

13. I am a freshman in medical school and I am very nervous when taking anatomy classes.

Especially when I hear my classmates show off that their parents are top surgeons or they have relevant experience.

After two hours of practical operation, the teacher especially praised my good operation ability and asked me if I had a family background?

I replied sheepishly: Yes, my grandfather was a pig butcher.

14. In class, the teacher said: There is no word failure in my life dictionary!

Just after he finished speaking, a dictionary came from below, and Xiaoxin said: Teacher, I can lend you mine!

15. There is no class in the first morning class. The roommate sent a message asking her boyfriend to remember to wake her up at 9:30.

I was awakened by the ringing and answered the phone. I heard a strange male voice say, get up quickly, get up quickly. The voice is deep.

The roommate was so frightened that he sat up suddenly. After hanging up the phone, I saw it was YTO calling.

I sent the wrong message last night. I sent the message to my boyfriend to Yuantong. Damn it, Yuantong is so awesome.

16. A male classmate, one day in class, his pen ran out of water. He asked a girl not far away to borrow a pen.

He only heard the girl yelling, "Are you stupid?" The man suddenly felt aggrieved and said,

I am a great man and you and a woman are scolding me for this trivial matter? His anger was mixed with grievance.

He shouted: My day, why don't I just borrow a pen? Why are you scolding me?

The girl said weakly: I, I didn’t scold you, I asked you what pen you used?

17. I have a colleague who behaves like that when he is serious.

One day when I went out to eat, I went to the store and saw that there were quite a lot of people. I saw a person sitting at a table.

He walked over and said: You, give way.

The man looked at him and walked away silently.

After a while, another colleague said: How about we go over there, there is a fan?

Then I saw him walking over there, and told the person before him to give up. open.

The man became anxious and said: Brother, where should I sit? I am also here to eat.

Later I asked, what a great day that day, he said, I thought that person was a waiter

18. Today I accidentally yelled at my wife, which made her heartbroken and crying. Runny nose,

I tried to persuade her all morning but to no avail. There was nothing I could do.

The daughter, who had not eaten, was a little impatient and said to her mother: Okay, Mom, stop crying, okay?

You didn’t choose the man yourself, so who is to blame! Suddenly, my wife and I were confused. . .

19. I had dinner with my friends the day before yesterday. I drank too much and slipped out of the restaurant to vomit. I held on to a car next to me.

Unexpectedly, a man came Police, drive away, this is a no parking zone!

I waved my hand because I felt sick and didn’t want to talk. What’s wrong? Drinking? He took out his walkie-talkie and called a tow truck.

Seeing the car being dragged farther and farther, I feel sick! It’s not my car, how can I drive it~!

20. I am a man. I went shopping for clothes with my mother yesterday. When I was trying on clothes, I found that the fitting room could not be locked.

Let my mother help me keep an eye on it. But as soon as I took off my pants, the door opened, and a beautiful girl appeared.

Then I was instantly shocked. Is it possible that I was only wearing a pair of underwear? . .

Later, my mother told me that the girl was pretty, so she didn’t stop her. I went, she was really my own mother!

21. A doctor killed someone else’s baby. The baby's parents were very angry and said to the doctor: You have to give my son a good burial and pay it back, otherwise, I will sue the government.

The doctor promised to take it back and dispose of it properly, so he put the body in the medicine box.

On the way home, I was invited to see a doctor by another family. When I was unpacking the medicine, I accidentally saw the body.

The patient was surprised and asked the reason. The doctor said: Someone else died and he wanted me to take him back to revive him.

22. I have a friend who has always been single. He is 1.9 meters tall and works in a public institution.

We went on a blind date a few days ago. Both parties felt good and were ready to develop further.

So the girl’s family asked the matchmaker if the man was planning a career.

This matchmaker was careless in what he said. He went to his friend’s house and said: The girl’s house asked if she had a job editor.

The friend’s mother got angry when she heard this: Oh, this is fucked up. What are you asking? Do you have a whip?

My son is 1.9 meters tall, how big a whip does she want?

23. In class on Monday, the teacher called the roll.

Zhang San? arrive. John Doe? arrive. Wang Wu? To

Obviously, these three sounds came from the same person.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the classroom froze to freezing point, and the teacher's face was ashen.

He rushed to the window sill with a quick step: Uncle Wang, can you give instructions to reverse the car later?

24. Yesterday, my mother called and the first sentence she asked was whether the end of the world was real. So what if I said it was real?

She said, then you Come back quickly, kill the pig and eat it first

25. Yesterday I dreamed of the end of the world. Aliens invade the earth. We hid behind a tank.

Still found. My husband is trying to protect me. Shot several times. Drenched with blood. Blood dripping on the body.

Bitingly cold. I thought silently. oh my hero. I will treat you well in the future.

Wake up. I found out that the reason for the cold was that this guy had taken away the quilt. Second Austrian. Instantly disillusioned.

26. When I got home, I saw my father standing on the balcony lighting a cigarette, frowning and looking melancholy at the dark clouds outside the window.

Me: Dad, what’s wrong?

Dad: It’s going to rain. (Take a strong puff of cigarette)

Me:

Dad: If it rains, your mother can't go out for a walk, and then she will definitely lose all my Happy Beans.

27. In high school, boys played with compasses. Whoever the needle pointed at would give him an idea and tell him to do whatever he wanted.

If he didn’t obey, we would beat him up together. One boy was among them. The needle was given, and the preparation bell rang at this time.

Everyone asked him to say I love you to the math teacher.

The math teacher was an old man who could explain the formula of the difference of squares with tears. Madam,

At this time, the teacher came in with a triangle and said that there was a class. Everyone stood up and said hello to the teacher.

This guy didn’t move. He was just sitting there. The teacher pointed at him: Everyone stood up and said hello, why don’t you move?

This guy just opened his mouth: Teacher Guo, I love you! The whole class went crazy,

At this time, the corners of the math teacher's eyes were almost wet: I understand, classmates, I love you too!

28. Resigned and went home to another place. Number, it’s been two months, this number is really a scam.

Strangers called me to call me brothers and asked me to kill people.

The boss said that I had forgotten my brother because I got rich, and asked me to send the lady there.

The person who asked me to send fans was a big brother who used to use this number. How rich your life experience is! 30 classic funny quotes that will make you grin from ear to ear

1. Taking the bus, a girl (I know her) got on the bus. I patted my thigh and said to her: There are soft seats here! Unexpectedly, the girl shouted: Forget it, the soft seat will turn into a hard seat, and the hard seat will turn into a socket, and then I won’t be able to walk!

2. When I got home at night, my husband took the key for a long time without putting it in the keyhole. The daughter-in-law said angrily next to her: If the door were a woman, she would die in a hurry.

3. I graduated from college. When I first joined the company, my boss bought me a new car worth 350,000 yuan and arranged for me the most skilled driver in the company. But I am not happy at work every day. Could it be that I went to college for four years just to learn how to drive a forklift?

4. The iPhone 6 is very popular recently, and friends around me always complain that their girlfriends are asking for iPhone 6 as gifts. I personally think it’s just a mobile phone, isn’t it? What happened to giving it to my girlfriend? Isn’t it just a matter of thousands of dollars? Is there any need to make such a fuss? If your girlfriend likes it, just give it to me. Anyway, I don’t have a girlfriend.

5. The father-in-law and mother-in-law quarreled, and the mother-in-law was very angry: I will take my grandson back to my parents' house tomorrow and never come back. At this time, my daughter-in-law overheard: It’s a beautiful idea, keep my son and take your son with you! The whole family was immediately happy, what a humorous daughter-in-law! ! !

6. Today I came to the home of a newlywed colleague and asked him: Who chose this bed? "My wife. Where is this sofa? My wife. Where is this TV? My wife. So which one did you choose in this house? The idiot said proudly: My wife.

7. Arguing with his girlfriend, Lying in bed at night, my girlfriend said angrily: I don’t want to see your face for a minute now. Boyfriend: How to disappear. Girlfriend: Turn off the lights. 8. You were sitting next to me on the bus. The girl fell asleep. The girl was very beautiful and slept soundly. I felt a sudden pity for her and thought it would be bad if there was any noise that woke the girl up. So I opened his bag and took her mobile phone. After turning off the phone, I put it in my bag and got off the car. If people could be so considerate to each other, how beautiful the world would be!

9. In class, Xiao Ming and Xiao Gang passed paper. The teacher found the note, and the teacher was very angry and said: Why are you passing the note! Then, the teacher opened the note and only read: The teacher is so beautiful. After reading it, the teacher shyly said: Pass it, pass it on!

10. Tonight, I asked my boyfriend: Honey, what is seeking death? He looked at me and said: You fat woman, you are fat, ugly and love to act like a baby, who will do it? Are you confident? My dear, come here and let’s talk!

11. After playing ball with a fat friend, I took off my shirt and walked on the road because of the heat. When I passed by two girls, what? The two girls looked at us with disdain. I didn't raise my head and was about to continue walking. At this time, the fat friend suddenly stopped and shook his breasts at the two girls. Then he looked at the two girls with disdain and threw it away. Sentence: Girl, do you have low self-esteem? Then the two girls walked away silently

12. I like to eat steamed eggs when I am pregnant, but my husband can steam them tender and delicious every time. One day, while my husband was steaming eggs, he came over and said, "Why can't you steam eggs?" 13. An old man went to the city and saw young girls on the street wearing very revealing and sexy clothes. When he went back, his wife could brag about it. After hearing this, her wife was furious. You didn’t think about me at all. The old man said: Why not? I vomited when I thought of you. I got a mouthful of phlegm and was fined five yuan.

14. A guy has been walking with a limp recently. I asked him what was wrong but he didn’t tell me. I just updated him and said something. : Don’t let me catch you! You bitch who puts the toilet brush in the toilet without taking it out in the bathroom without lights!

15. Me: I bought you a bottle of perfume, wife. : How much? Me: Just sleep with me and you will know. Wife: 400 yuan?

16. I have always wanted to get married when I reached the age of marriage. She is the same age as me, but she doesn’t want to get married. When I asked her why, she told me with a heartbroken look on her face: Because she thought about having a baby when she got married, and when she gave birth to a baby, she would share half of my snacks with him. !

17. When I was a child, my father told me to either study or feed pigs. I said I'd better study. Now I am not good at reading and feeding pigs, but I feed myself like a pig, and my IQ may not be as good as a pig.

18. Once while waiting for a red light in a taxi, the taxi driver fell asleep and the light turned green. The loudspeaker at the back was loud. I patted the driver. When he saw the traffic policeman walking this way, he immediately got out of the car and said to me: Young man, help push the car! I won’t charge you any money today! The traffic policeman who came over also pushed the cart with him, leaving me with a confused look on my face!

19. Didn’t you say that we would still be husband and wife in the next life? I also want a daughter. I really want to know what our daughter will look like in the next life. They say that the daughter is the lover in the previous life, so I... Wife: Pa, is this your excuse to find a lover? Yidiandian Quotations Network

20. After graduating from college, I always thought that I was a talent and did not go to the job market to find a job. I thought that the company should take the initiative to find me, so I stayed at home.

This morning when my father went to work, he said to me: It’s the talents who go to the talent market, it’s not the talents who don’t go, please understand. I thought about it for a moment, broke off a sentence, and then went to find a job.

21. Wife, does anyone compliment you when you go out? What are you praising me for? I compliment you on your athletic figure! No! Which sport is my body type suitable for? weightlifting.

22. Girlfriend: Honey, do you really like me? Boyfriend: I really like it. Girlfriend: Then why do you like me? Boyfriend: Because there is no choice yet.

23. When you encounter problems in life, refer to the four simple and crude rules of life: if it doesn’t work, share it, buy it if you like it, drink more water, and try again.

24. When I sent my brother home by car, I asked him: Do you have money to take the car? That guy actually said to me: How can a man not have a card on his body? You are the only one who can make the bus pass sound fresh and refined.

25. Man: My wife wants to poison me to death. Friend: No, let me go and talk to her. I'm going to see what's going on and then tell you. Friend: I talked to your wife. I talked to her on the phone for 3 hours. Do you want my opinion? The man said: Of course. Friend: You'd better take the poison!

26. A trainee nurse drew my blood and pricked my arm several times with a needle, but could not find any blood vessels. But this little girl is so calm, her expression is serious, and she doesn't want to stop until her blood vessels are pierced. After more than ten injections, I endured the severe pain and asked the nurse with an awe-inspiring expression: Did you learn this acupuncture technique from Grandma Rong?

27. After working overtime until late at night, I was mentally exhausted and rushed to the empty stairwell to sing: On the other side of the mountain, on the other side of the sea, there is a group of Smurfs to vent my depression. ! Suddenly, a plaintive voice came from downstairs: They are hardworking and smart, they work overtime until dawn!

28. The golden retriever at home is almost as tall as an adult when he stands up on his hind legs. Just now, I took that bastard shopping, and he stood up quietly while I wasn't paying attention, and took the fried cake from the girl next to him. The girl turned around to eat the fried cake while looking at the scenery, and then she saw a big dog's head that was the same height as her.

29. My husband is an electrician. He found that my mobile phone had static electricity. He immediately took an electric pen to measure the voltage, which was 110 volts. Then he told me not to play with the mobile phone while charging. I recently read in the news that someone was electrocuted while taking a shower. My husband reminds me every day to turn off the electric water heater before taking a shower. I felt warm and moved in my heart, so I praised him: Husband, it’s great to have you. The husband said: Of course, I am an electrician. If my wife was electrocuted to death, it would be embarrassing to tell anyone.

30. I saw two men arguing on the road today. Suddenly the quarrel became fierce. One man said to the other man, bite me, you bite me! The man walked over and I thought he was going to make a move. Who knew he just said lightly, I don't eat shit. I instantly felt that this was the most awesome counterattack. 28 funny quotations in one sentence_Every sentence will make you laugh

1. I hate my father for not being surnamed Li, and I hate my father for not being strong.

2. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

3. The third party is not the one who comes later, but the one who is not deeply loved.

4. It’s all boiled water, so why not put it in Youlemei?

5. I am not Baidu, so don’t ask me everything!

6. Those who are not afraid of debt collection are heroes, but those who are afraid of debt are really poor.

7. As long as you work hard, you should also poop seriously.

8. Don’t become bad in debauchery, just suppress it in silence.

9. You are not qualified for grandstanding; you are too out of line for pretending to be crazy!

10. Don’t compare your muscles with me, my family raises chickens!

11. I am not wrong, but I have never been right!

12. Our love, the doctor said: He has tried his best.

13. Wear other people's shoes and walk other people's paths, so that others can neither find their shoes nor their way.

14. I was also an infatuated person back then, but it rained and I drowned.

15. It’s not your fault that you are ugly; if you are ugly, you still have troubles everywhere. Sister, I am wrong!

16. If you don’t read, you are a pig. If you read, you will be an educated pig.

17. Don’t mess with me, or I will make you die in a rhythmic manner.

18. It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story!

19. Be generous and conquer the dog with virtue.

20. A strong life requires no explanation!

21. Why should a good grain of rice ruin a pot of mouse droppings?

22. I only drink pure water and pure milk, so I am very simple.

23. When you put on the wedding dress, I also put on the cassock

24. If you have a poor foundation, no matter how much money you spend to transform yourself into a fairy, you will still be born. Toad!

25. Don’t dig my grave. Remember back then, I was also a tomb robber.

26. When I say I can’t afford to be hurt, that’s the day your house will be burned down.

27. Don’t always say I’m fat, I’m afraid you won’t be able to resist if I lose weight.

28. Isn’t there still half a cucumber left in the refrigerator? Let’s go cook four dishes for the children.