An interesting and short joke.

1. In the morning, I went to the vegetable market to buy food. I asked the vendor, "Have you used pesticides for this dish?" The peddler thought for a moment and said, "I don't think he can beat it."

2. Playing the game of hitting the back of the hand with a female colleague, I accidentally caught her hand and broke a little skin. Then the female colleague took out her mobile phone with a serious face. Just when I thought she was going to take a photo and send it to a circle of friends to accuse me, I saw her searching online: Is it necessary to get rabies vaccine after being caught by single dog?

3. It is said that female drivers are terrible. It's really not all like this. There are also many female drivers who are good at driving. Take me for example. My husband praised me today. He said: the road is so wide, and there is a brick about 20 cm in the middle. You can press it directly. It's amazing!

I found a fortune teller to calculate a divination for me. He looked at it and said, "Brother, you must have been born in the early hours of the morning." I was surprised: "How can you calculate so accurately?" He stroked his beard and said, "Because it's ugly from one to three in the morning."

One of my classmates sold a house in Beijing some time ago, and it's useless for the family to stop it. Asked why, he said: I can't live in this suite in the future, I can't afford it. It is better to buy more than a dozen sets in your hometown county. I'd rather be a chicken head than a phoenix tail! I didn't figure it out until I heard that he opened a bath center two days ago!

6. One day I asked my mother, "Mom, what am I to you?" My mother gave me a look. "Fucking retarded!"

7. After returning home, the wife happily said to her husband, "I read my palm today. He said that my second husband was handsome, knowledgeable and considerate. " The husband quickly asked, "Oh? Are you and I getting married for the second time? "

8. When the liberal arts were divided into classes, Xiao Wang got very good grades in science, but he chose liberal arts, so I asked him: Are there many girls in liberal arts? He said: I didn't think so much, just because the canteen is closest to the liberal arts class!

9. When I was a child, I ate fish once and got stuck in my throat by fishbone, so I couldn't swallow it. I had to ask my parents for help, and all kinds of remedies kept coming, drinking vinegar and swallowing steamed bread. As a result, I was full and the fishbone was still there! Then I remembered the doctor!

10, I saw a fat tramp just now and asked him, "As a tramp, why are you still so fat?" He said, "Because I can't afford to go to the gym."