Share jokes that make people laugh immediately.

Share jokes that make people laugh immediately.

Share the jokes that make people laugh immediately. Jokes are widely used in our lives. Through the expression of words, we can feel the scene described by words and the meaning of expression more intuitively. The following is a compilation of jokes that can make people laugh immediately.

Share jokes that make people laugh immediately. 1 1. Eat steamed buns at home once. Because there are many people in the family and their tastes are different, four kinds of stuffing are packed.

After cooking, my nephew took one, and his mother (my sister) stared at him. My nephew broke the steamed stuffed bun in half and gave it to my grandparents. My sister was very happy when she saw it.

The little nephew took another one, broke it in half, half for his aunt and half for his uncle. Everyone said, "This child is really sensible!"

The little nephew ran to get the third one, broke it in half and muttered, "Why is it still stuffed with radish!" " "

2. Grandma: Do you know how many years grandpa and grandma have been married?

Grandson: 40 years.

Grandma asked in surprise, how do you know?

Grandson: I often hear my grandfather say to you, "I have endured all this for 40 years."

3. "Didn't you say you were smart? ! Now let me ask you a question. " Xiao Ming said, "Do you know what animals in the world love to ask why?"

A Dai thought for a moment and said, "I don't know."

Xiao Ming said, "Idiot, I don't know. To tell you the truth, it's a pig! " "

A Dai: "Why?"

The fable book written by the writer sells well. Once, his friend praised him and said, "You write really well and print more than anyone else."

The writer smiled and replied, "It's not that I write well, but that children love to tear books too much."

5. The white rabbit met the wolf.

The white rabbit said, the wolf, the wolf, you asked me if I was a white rabbit.

Ask! Ask!

The wolf said, are you a white rabbit?

The little white rabbit is very happy. Yes, yes, I am!

The white rabbit said to the wolf, Wolf, you asked me if I was a giraffe.

Ask! Ask!

The wolf is helpless. Ok ... so ... are you a giraffe?

The white rabbit patted him on the back of the head, you big stupid wolf! I told you I was a white rabbit!

Share jokes that make people laugh immediately. Select two 50-word humorous jokes.

1. A student who just graduated from a university applied for a job in a Sino-foreign joint venture in Tianyi. During the interview, the examiner asked, "Do you have any certificates? For example, some honorary certificates such as CET-4 and CET-6, Computer National Level 2? " The student immediately replied, "No, but I have many admission tickets!" " "

When a painter is in class, he can't tolerate students smoking in the studio. Once, a student secretly took out a cigarette and lit it, which happened to be seen by him. He walked over with a serious face and asked the students sarcastically, "What are you going to use this magical stroke?" The students used their quick wits to say, "Cloud, cloud! Professor. "

3. The teacher talked about African wild boar on the platform with great interest, but when he looked up, he found that many students were sleeping, so he said angrily, "Look at me! How can I know what African wild boar looks like without looking at me? "

4. "When the teacher was correcting the paper, he found that a student explained the text like this: After years: too long, the month ends. The teacher frowned. Soon he found another student's answer: the Chinese New Year is too long, even the moon is tired. "

5. The fifth-grade composition teacher assigned a composition topic "Follow me". Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote: ... It's a nice day today. I take my children to the park to play. I'm driving the limousine my husband bought me, with a big diamond ring on my finger and a gold necklace around my neck that he just bought me last month. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. I looked at it carefully. Oh, my God! She used to be my Chinese teacher in grade five.

6. Mother and daughter took a taxi through the city center. My daughter caught a glimpse of some enchanting women standing on the street corner and asked her mother, "What are they doing?" "They waited for their husbands to have dinner together after work." Mom replied. "Oh, my God!" The taxi driver couldn't help interrupting: "Madam, you should tell the truth." They are prostitutes, waiting for customers to patronize! ""Can prostitutes have children? "The daughter asked her mother curiously." "Of course," my mother replied grumpily. Otherwise, who will be the taxi driver? "

7. A man and his girlfriend are driving a sports car. The woman got up and said to the man, "I'll take off my clothes until 150." Man: "What's wrong with that!" After that, she slammed on the accelerator and drove to 180. The woman really took off her clothes. Just then, an accident happened and the car overturned.

The man was stuck in the car and couldn't get out, so he told his girlfriend to go for help. Woman: "But I'm naked!" ! "Man:" Then I'll lend you a shoe, and you cover it in the key position. "So his girlfriend ran to the community for help according to her shoes. When she arrived at the gas station, she was out of breath and said to the younger brother at the gas station, "Quick … help me … my boyfriend, he … is stuck in it and can't get out!" "! !" ......

8. Before his son got married, his father was embarrassed to teach him: You will be above and she will be below. On their wedding night, the bride saw that the new bed had been replaced with a bunk bed.

9. Keane asked his girlfriend, "Am I the first man to have sex with you?" "Yes, you are the first. Other men are straightforward and never procrastinate. "

10, when I went to the Canton Fair with a colleague, I was often harassed by the lady's phone at the hotel. Very annoying. By chance, we found the room number of the lady who called us (it is estimated that she booked a room in the hotel and then harassed it with an extension), so we naturally knew the extension number of the lady (many hotels use this room number).

So one afternoon we were harassed again: "Do you need a young lady?" After refusing, we were filled with indignation, so our colleague dialed the phone back. It was that lady who answered the phone just now. Colleagues solemnly lowered their voices: "Do you need a gentleman?" . It is estimated that the young lady has never encountered such a situation. After a pause for a few seconds, she said angrily, "Yes, I want you!" " ......

1 1. At the school meeting, the dean made a final summary: "In short, I hope that no matter where you are, you should remember that you are a student of our school. You must never smoke while walking, wear shorts in the classroom or even talk about indecent topics in your own room. " "Also, female classmate, if there are some pig elder brother boys pestering you, ignore him.

You have to ask yourselves, is it worth ruining your reputation for an hour of happiness? ""Well, what's the problem? " Just when the audience was silent, a gentle voice suddenly said, "Excuse me ... what can I do to keep him going for an hour? "It is said that when Wukong borrowed a banana fan from Princess Iron Fan, it happened to be when Niu Wangmo came back from work. Niu heard the following conversation at home: Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I am in you!" " Princess Iron Fan: Ah! Don't! ! ! Ah! ! ! It hurts! ! ! Do not move.

Oh, please come out quickly! ! ! Ah. . . "Wukong:" OK, I'm coming out! Please open your mouth! ! ! "Princess Iron Fan:" Ah-"When Niu Wangmo heard this, he left the divorce papers at home and left sadly.

12. On a spring night, a girl knocked on my door. I asked her who she was, and she shook her head without saying anything and began to take off her clothes ... Since then, she has come on time every Wednesday without saying a word. A month later, the girl finally spoke: "Director X, can I play this role?" I pointed to the floor and said, "Director X's house is downstairs, dear!" "

13, a young beauty got on the bus in a tight skirt. Because the skirt was too tight to lift her legs and get on the bus, she secretly reached out and unbuttoned a button at the back, but still couldn't get on, unbuttoned another one, or couldn't get on, unbuttoned another one. But I still can't get up. At this time, a man behind him reached out and helped her unbutton a button. The woman felt it and turned to scold the man: "rogue!" " The man was very wronged and said, "I am a rogue? You unbuttoned three buttons in front of me, and I didn't say a word. I only unbuttoned one button! "

Share a joke that can make people laugh at once. Make a group of people laugh.

1. In class, the female deskmate asked Xiaolin how to do the problem. Xiao Lin didn't want to talk to her because she had a quarrel with her before class, but she wanted to be a gentleman. She said that "women's problems should be handled by women", which caused a burst of punching and kicking.

2, basketball players shooting practice, even ten shots did not enter, coach: "idiot! Look at me. " I also voted for ten times, but I still didn't get in. "See? That's how you just shot. "

I am a wolf in the north. I have been gentle and kind since I was a child. I only dare to watch my companions eat meat. Others think I'm a coward and dislike my wandering alone. Being single is really hard. I want a gentle sheep. You can spend the long mountain with me, and I will spend eternity with you.

4. The lazy member quality inspection association recognizes you as the new three good young people of the year! I hope you will make persistent efforts and continue to maintain the fine style of eating well, sleeping well and playing well!

Teacher, I'm really sorry that I'm late again. This is because I dreamed of a football match. What does this have to do with being late? Xiao Ming, please explain. Teacher, you don't know, the football match in my dream is extremely fierce. They tied and extended the game.

6. Earn money hard, strive to dance with Maggie Cheung next year, raise a big tiger in South China, wear superman's underwear, live in Gates' house, hold Buffett's shares and become the richest man in the world!

7. People are often stolen, and they want to be thieves in Doby, so they get on the bus with counterfeit money. After getting off the bus, he found that the counterfeit money was still there, and there was an extra note that said, "Please respect our labor and stop using counterfeit money!" "

8. Northland scenery, thousands of miles of ice, Wan Li snow; Looking inside and outside the Great Wall, beautiful women are gentle and graceful, and millions of gentlemen line up to pick them; I shrink back and dare not answer. I am afraid of honesty and violence. Today, I want to find a beautiful girl to hug. Go hand in hand with life, children and grandchildren are full.

9. Teacher: "What is everyone's greatest desire to study? Do you all want to go to college? " Xiao Ye said, "No, my greatest wish is to have a magic pen of Ma Liang."

10, there are many wonders in the world, and recently proposed as a boyfriend; Which lady has a car and a house, please hold hands; Boyfriend has no room and no culture, and every meal is a rural hukou; He has a fiery heart and is ready to go with you at any time. Please call or QQ if you are interested. I'll wait for you at any time.

1 1, Confucius said: greetings should be faithful, short, appropriate in Hu Kan, supplemented, borrowed, reprinted, understandable and clear? If you make it clear, forward it to others, which will kill you!

12, river of no return, where is the person who loves me? Today, I want to take you away. You see that I am so infatuated that I don't care about cars and buildings; I don't care whether you are tall or thin, as long as you are willing to hold hands, I will accompany you wherever you go.

13, the law professor gave an example: "A man came to my house to steal, and I found him, so he killed me. Later, the police caught him and called him a suspect. Then who am I? " The students said in unison, "Dead man!"

14, female to male: Look at your sly eyes and crooked sweet potato face, how can people fantasize about you? Man to woman: I only have a few G's in my eyes, and I know I can't save your face with dozens of G's.