Can you tell me a joke?

1.GG: I heard that there is often red liquid contaminating the floor at a stairwell in Building D of our school.

Another GG: What the heck, after they fell in love with "this", they often left dark red ones at the door of the Third Canteen!

2. In the past five years, Maopu has The most taboo ID: Brother Zhao asked you to do something for me.

3. A sign was placed on the lawn in front of the boys’ dormitory, and the freshmen read: “The green grass is afraid of your feet.”

Old students: “Freshmen? Please put every The last word of the sentence is pronounced with four tones!!!"

4. Under the moon, a couple was exercising on the playground.

Female (affectionate): Usually walking feels very long, but now running with you feels very short. It feels like time flies so fast~

Male (blushing): Yes Ah, I usually feel very short when I walk, but now running with you feels very long. It feels like...

Female (angry): You rogue!!!

5.** Said: Oh, Shit!

6. A woman’s favorite day: January 31st; her most hated day: December 1st

7. An old lady before she died , holding his wife's hand and confessing: "Old man, let me tell you the truth, none of our three sons are yours." After hearing this, the old man comforted his wife and said, "It's okay. Although the three sons are not mine, the three sons are not mine. This grandson must be mine..."

8. There was a boy who was exercising on the stadium and met a girl who was also running. The boy felt good about him, so he observed that the girl ran a few meters in the first week. laps, two laps in the second week, and three laps in the third week. . . The boy couldn't help but stepped forward and chatted up: Are you going to run four laps next week? The girl shook her head shyly: I won't run next week.

9. Go to a bar to drink alone. He asked for ten glasses of wine from the bar and drank them all. The waiter asked him why he wanted so many drinks. The man said that he felt KJ for the first time today. The waiter said happily, it’s worth celebrating, I’ll give you another drink for free!

The man shook his head and said: No need. If ten cups can’t get rid of the smell, no matter how many cups you drink, it won’t matter!

10. A certain man took his secretary on a business trip for half a month. On the night when he came back, in order to prevent his wife from suspecting anything, he worked very hard during intimacy and made a lot of noise. There was a big noise, and suddenly the neighbor downstairs knocked on the door and shouted angrily: It’s been like this for half a month, every day, and I can’t let anyone sleep anymore!

11. When Xiao Ming was one year old, he called him grandpa for the first time. , so grandpa died.

Not long after he called his mother for the first time, her mother died.

Later, he called Dad, and Carpenter Wang next door died.

A doctor from Tsinghua University pointed out that there was a bug in this joke. When he called Grandpa, he should be Carpenter Wang’s father next door. die.

A classmate from Jiaotong University pointed out: The mother of the carpenter next door knew that this was not a bug.

12. Yesterday, I went to my sister’s house to have rice and steam crabs. My brother-in-law gave one to me and one to my four-year-old niece. The child is very sensible.

"Dad, you eat it. Eat it too."

"Daddy won't eat it, leaving it for my aunt and the baby to eat."

The little niece took a crab to her dad while talking

"Dad, you can't be like this. You have to be kind to yourself. You are like a cow every day without eating. You are exhausted. There will be other uncles who spend your money, live in your house, sleep with your wife, and beat you. It's for your baby! Eat it! Eat it quickly!"