What is the complete line of the essay "Fried Noodles with Sea Cucumber"?

Song Xiaobao: Hahahaha, I miss you very much. Alas, I came home late this Spring Festival and caught up with the 29th. I am hungry and want to find a noodle restaurant to eat noodles. I remember this store used to be called Dachengzi noodle restaurant, but now it is called Sea Cucumber noodle restaurant. Upgrade, automatically upgrade, and then upgrade. Probably making money. Let's go in and have a look. Waiter.

Attendant: Welcome! Brother, what can I get you?

Song Xiaobao: If you count to nine in the cold winter, don't rush to order. Warm up first. Do you have any tea?

Attendant: There is tea.

Song Xiaobao: Is it free?

Attendant: It's free.

Song Xiaobao: Two pots of Longjing.

Attendant: No.

Song Xiaobao: Maojian tea will be fine.

Attendant: There are edamame.

Song Xiaobao: Soak edamame to drink! Good food. What cuisine?

Attendant: The noodles are very thin, but they are very thin.

Song Xiaobao: You said you were a child. You say I don't have enough to eat first. What are the characteristics?

Waiter: Fried noodles with sea cucumber.

Song Xiaobao: Is the sea cucumber a real sea cucumber?

Attendant: A sea cucumber is a sea cucumber. I don't know if it's serious.

Song Xiaobao: Hey, this boy, the sea cucumber is not serious, I don't know, enough, enough, a bowl of fried noodles with sea cucumber!

Attendant: OK!

Song Xiaobao: Are your pickles free?

Attendant: pickles are five yuan a plate.

Song Xiaobao: What is free?

Attendant: Small seasoning.

Song Xiaobao: Peanut soy sauce vinegar, right?

Attendant: Horseradish doesn't charge!

Song Xiaobao: Give me a tube.

Attendant: Where can I eat horseradish noodles?

Chef: OK, a plate of fried noodles with sea cucumber. Come on, sir, please enjoy your meal!

Song Xiaobao: Wait a minute. Eating horseradish noodles is a new fashion. I want to lead! Wait, what fried noodles?

Chef: fried noodles with sea cucumber!

Song Xiaobao: Are you playing?

Chef: What's the matter?

Song Xiaobao: How about sea cucumber? Where is it? Where is the sea cucumber? Lost the fire? Is it out of the pot? Let you build it? Fried noodles with sea cucumber, give me a perfect explanation!

Chef: Explain what? My name is sea cucumber, and I fried noodles. Is it perfect?

Song Xiaobao: Perfect! May I see the menu? Who are you scaring? Where is it? Can I choose not to eat?

Chef: No, we have a rule that you can't return it if you order it.

Attendant: Yes.

Song Xiaobao: I can't return it. Can I exchange it?

Chef: That's all right.

Song Xiaobao: It's too dry. Change the bowl into soup!

Chef: OK, fried noodles make noodle soup. Let's go

Song Xiaobao: Is the horseradish ready?

Attendant: Yes.

Chef: Change the noodle soup!

Song Xiaobao: Some water, scented tea? Just fill the scented tea. Why are you so picky?

Chef: Here comes the noodle soup!

Attendant: Horseradish!

Song Xiaobao: Why are you so picky? Squeeze them all in! I'm proud of it. You don't know. what are you reading?

Chef: It's the first time to eat like this! I learned!

Song Xiaobao: Hey, is your last name Hai? Your name is sea cucumber? Do you have an old sister named Kelp?

Attendant: How do you know my name?

Chef: My sister.

Song Xiaobao: Is your father's name an oyster?

Chef: Is it propped up? Come on, have a garlic clove solution! Fight poison with poison. This is called! This is really hungry. This is!

Song Xiaobao: I'm choking. Oh, my God, this is horseradish instant noodles! Oh, dear! I am sweating! Oh, I won't tell you. Let's go! Lots of things!

Attendant: Brother, haven't you paid me yet?

Song Xiaobao: What money?

Attendant: noodle soup money!

Song Xiaobao: How much does it cost to replace fried noodles with noodle soup?

Attendant: You didn't pay for the fried noodles either.

Song Xiaobao: I didn't pay for fried noodles!

Attendant: Wait a minute! Noodles have to be paid!

Song Xiaobao: Do the math for her!

Chef: He, he is right!

Attendant: He ate a bowl of noodles from our house and confiscated the money!

Chef: Don't be stubborn! How much do you want?

Attendant: noodle soup money!

Chef: Stop it! I traded fried noodles for horses!

Attendant: He didn't pay for fried noodles either!

Chef: He didn't pay for fried noodles!

Song Xiaobao: You do the math first. I'll go first!

Attendant: Boss, boss, someone doesn't pay for noodles!

Song Xiaobao: No, don't do this, don't call the boss! That's all. As for it!

Boss: Dachengzi noodle restaurant becomes high-end! Who dares to eat overlord meal here! Who is it? Bold and fat! Do you eat overlord meal?

Song Xiaobao: No, your store is a bit unreasonable! I want to eat noodles. It is unreasonable for me to ask for money!

Boss: Where can I eat noodles for free?

Song Xiaobao: I shouldn't have spent this money!

Chef: Yes! Boss! He is right!

Attendant: Brother, stop it! Boss, I'm telling you! What's going on He came and asked for a bowl of fried noodles first. He said it was too dry. Let's change a bowl of noodle soup and leave after eating. I don't care whether he wants money or not. What did he say he wanted? I said noodles in soup cost money. What did he say? I paid for noodles in soup for fried noodles. You didn't give me money when I said fried noodles. He said I don't eat fried noodles. What did you give me?

Boss: No problem!

Song Xiaobao: Right? I have to go! Goodbye!

Boss: Wait a minute, you ate noodles, but I don't know who to ask for money! How can I be a little ignorant!

Song Xiaobao: Don't be silly, this girl didn't give you a clear face! Well, don't forget. Shall I play it for you again? You sit here and watch, and I'll play it for you from the door again! You sit here!

Boss: Oh, why do you take things so seriously? What's your name?

Song Xiaobao: Don't mention your surname!

Boss: Thank you, Brother Hou.

Song Xiaobao: Sit down, Bajie! Come on! Girl! Do you think there is something wrong with children's speech?

Attendant: Welcome! What can I get you?

Song Xiaobao: Don't worry, count to nine in the cold winter, and drink some hot water first! Is tea free?

Attendant: Free!

Song Xiaobao: Two pots of Longjing!

Song Xiaobao: Do you think her speech is flawed?

Attendant: No.

Boss: There are flaws!

Song Xiaobao: Do you have hairy tips?

Attendant: There are edamame.

Song Xiaobao: Look.

Boss: There are flaws.

Song Xiaobao: What dish?

Attendant: The noodles are very thin, but they are too thin!

Song Xiaobao: Look.

Boss: There are flaws.

Song Xiaobao: What are the characteristics?

Waiter: Fried noodles with sea cucumber.

Song Xiaobao: Is the sea cucumber a real sea cucumber?

Attendant: A sea cucumber is a sea cucumber. I don't know if it's serious!

Song Xiaobao: Look.

Boss: There are flaws.

Song Xiaobao: I'm talking about a bowl of fried noodles with sea cucumber.

Waiter: A bowl of fried noodles with sea cucumber.

Song Xiaobao: Face up. Almost ready.

Chef: Let the boss have a look. Here comes the fried noodles. I told you not to move, but you didn't eat.

Song Xiaobao: I didn't eat. I asked him, fried noodles are fried noodles, and what about sea cucumbers?

Chef: Boss, this is how I explained it. My name is sea cucumber, and I fried the noodles!

Song Xiaobao: Yes.

Boss: Perfect!

Song Xiaobao: I don't like dried noodles. Can I change the bowl? Change the bowl into soup!

Cook: I changed it for him.

Song Xiaobao: He will change. You got it?

Boss: It's not over yet.

Chef: Change the noodle soup.

Song Xiaobao: I started eating the noodle soup as soon as I changed it.

Attendant: Wait a minute, there is a missing link! Add horseradish!

Song Xiaobao: No, no, boss.

Boss; You must act according to the original! You can't do the whole piracy! Supplement!

Song Xiaobao: No, no, no, this part can be omitted!

Chef: You don't need the boss to understand!

Boss: if you avoid it, there will be flaws!

Chef: How crowded!

Song Xiaobao: This is horseradish. Did I eat so much in the first bite?

Chef: No, gobble it! You have a point. What are you afraid of?

Boss: I think I'm suffocating!

Chef: That's the boss's face! Cry! Yes! Oh, take garlic to solve it, fight poison with poison, and eat it quickly!

Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, it is so powerful.

Chef: This smell.

Song Xiaobao: Two cloves of garlic and two tubes of horseradish.

Boss: Did you panic?

Song Xiaobao: I panicked. See the details. I'm leaving now! I said I'm leaving!

Attendant: I didn't pay you.

Song Xiaobao: What money?

Attendant: noodle soup money.

Song Xiaobao: How much should I spend on noodle soup instead of fried noodles?

Attendant: You didn't pay for fried noodles either?

Song Xiaobao: I didn't eat fried noodles. What did I give you?

Boss: No problem. You really shouldn't ask people for this money! But without two bowls of noodles, I don't understand! Iq ... well, let my accountant come out for a while and let him settle my accounts for me. Who should pay for this noodle? Do it again! Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it!

Yan Fei: Brother-in-law.

Boss: Well, my brother-in-law graduated from a famous university, majoring in accounting. Well, we lost two bowls of noodles and he ate them, but I don't know who to ask for money. My brother-in-law is confused and has a brain defect. Can you help him?

Swallow: No problem!

Song Xiaobao: You know, these two bowls of noodles, two cloves of garlic and two tubes of horseradish are too much for me. I'll take a break. With this effort, I will give you an addition and subtraction within 5, because I think your brains are defective. Let's feel it first, shall we

Swallow: Anything less than 9 will do. Let's go

Song Xiaobao: Come on, let's go! Step back.

Swallow: Addition and subtraction within 5 cannot exceed 9!

Song Xiaobao: No, please listen to the question! On a bus, before leaving the station, there were 9 people on the bus, no more than 9. At one stop, one person got off the bus, then another stop. In the afternoon, two people got on the bus at one stop, then one got on the bus at another stop, and then one got off at another stop!

Swallow: Don't move, shake us!

Song Xiaobao: One more stop. Get on the train on Wednesday! One more stop, no getting on or off!

Swallow: Don't move yet. Shake us again!

Song Xiaobao: There's one more stop. Get on and off! Two more stops, one more stop! Ask?

Swallow: Stop, does the driver count?

Song Xiaobao: Drivers don't count!

Swallow: No problem!

Song Xiaobao: How many stops are there on the bus?

Swallow: Eleven people!

Song Xiaobao: How many stops did I say?

Boss: All right, Monkey, let's stop at the whole station. We mainly eat noodles. What a suffocating panic! Oh, my God!

Mainly to find money!

Chef: Don't worry about it with him. You have the right. What are you afraid of? I'll make noodles for you!

Song Xiaobao: What are you doing, huh? No, no, my time is very tight!

Boss: I know you are busy.

Song Xiaobao: I can't do this anymore!

Boss: The key is not to play now. I can't find where the money went. My head is defective!

Song Xiaobao: Can I play it for you tomorrow?

Boss: I must come to see my brother-in-law tonight. Please pay attention. Look where the money went.

Boss: Let's go!

Attendant: Welcome!

Song Xiaobao: No!

Attendant: What can I get you, brother?

Song Xiaobao: Right above!

Waiter: A bowl of fried noodles with sea cucumber!

Song Xiaobao: Hurry up! Keep an eye on the surface, I don't believe the account has not been settled yet.

Chef: Didn't you ask the sea cucumber?

Song Xiaobao: No!

Waiter: Change the horseradish noodles!

Boss: You must act according to the original! Because my brother-in-law saw it for the first time.

Attendant: Add two pipes! There must be no fewer links.

Boss: Bring me the garlic cloves and untie them. Hurry up!

Chef: I haven't had soup yet!

Song Xiaobao: OK, OK, this is very interesting. I'll do it. Feel free! Go down, to the important link, pay attention to college students, I said I want to go!

Boss: Nothing, you can't go out for the time being. Take this out as a stretcher!

Song Xiaobao: I said I'm leaving. Pay attention.

Attendant: No money!

Song Xiaobao: What money?

Attendant: noodle soup money!

Song Xiaobao: How much do I have to pay for noodle soup?

Attendant: You didn't pay for the fried noodles either.

Chef: This is fried noodles. I don't understand. I didn't eat fried noodles. What the hell? I don't understand this account. That's stupid! I didn't eat, so I changed!

Song Xiaobao: Look, you pissed him off! You pissed him off!

Swallow: I see, you are not wrong. We really shouldn't ask people for this money!

Attendant: He has to pay for a bowl of noodles in our house!

Swallow: I'm a little confused, too! I'm a little confused, too. Tell you what, I'll call my daughter-in-law, and you can play it for my daughter-in-law from beginning to end. My wife can't understand. I call my father-in-law, and you play for him. My father-in-law is a professional accountant, and this abacus was left to me by my father-in-law.

Chef: Well, we must understand this today. You can call as many people as you want. You are right. What are you afraid of? I'll make you 10 noodles and wait!

Song Xiaobao: Come back, come back, what are you doing?

Chef: What should we be afraid of?

Song Xiaobao: You old sea cucumber! You look like an abalone. What are you doing? I'm glad to go home next year. I'm hungry here and want to eat noodles. Am I a deadbeat? Let me see the menu. Where is the menu? This bowl of sea cucumber fried noodles 180, I have 60 yuan in my pocket!

Chef; how much is it?

Song Xiaobao: 180, it is written here! Who are you hitting?

Chef: Boss, if you want such a price, don't take my sea cucumber as your name, okay? Don't lie about my name, okay? I don't want to work here anymore. What's your price? Sister, go, go.

Boss: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Sea cucumber noodle series, 180.0, I ordered 18. Who made the menu?

Swallow: I made it, there is nothing wrong with it!

Boss: It should be 18.00. Your 180.0 is a bit short. You are wrong!

Swallow: Go ahead and it's over!

Boss: Is that right? Doing business is not bad at all, not at all. Some time ago, there was a high-priced seafood. Isn't this a high price? You can't lose credibility in business because of this, and you can't lose credibility in business because of this! You can't lose your conscience because of this in business!

Song Xiaobao: Your family has lost all the horseradish!

Boss: I think you are choking! Your name!

Song Xiaobao: Your surname is Hou.

Boss: Brother Hou, sit down.

Song Xiaobao: Tell me, Bajie.

Boss: Today, because of a mistake in my shop, it caused a choking effect on you. Ok, today's noodles are on me, and you eat them for free!

Song Xiaobao: You idiot, I don't eat for free. You are an idiot! You are not an idiot. You don't understand this account! Am I the money giver? Three bowls of noodles, one bowl 18.60, keep the change! I see who dares to stop me this time! Go home!

Swallow: Stop!

Song Xiaobao: What do you mean? What's the matter?

Swallow: Brother, it's interesting to make friends. I just want to know, how many stops did the bus take?

Song Xiaobao: You, two!

Swallow: I see, brother-in-law, I see. The bus ate two bowls of noodles!

Boss: Get out! Do a good calculation for me. How many stops does this bus have? Then calculate it carefully for me. How many bowls of noodles did you lose when you opened today? Withdraw!

Creative background:

The inspiration for creating this sketch comes from the "high-priced prawn" that exploded on 20 16 and other hotel derailment incidents that occurred all over the country. Song Xiaobao created a witty and humorous image of a "big fool". In order to get the king's meal, he shook out a series of "divine logic", which made the audience on and off the stage unable to help interacting with this "trick boy", and the scene was bursting with joy.

In this sketch, there is another big wave of new jokes that are destined to be popular on 20 16. For example: "Eating horseradish noodles leads the new fashion", "My name is sea cucumber, and the noodles are fried by me", "Eat garlic quickly and eat slowly" and so on.

Judging from the "laughter", the audience at the scene were all convulsed by these burdens.