Beg for jokes without dialogue

= = The consequences of going your own way = =

A tourist saw a sign on the side of the road that said: This road is closed. Besides, the front looks beautiful, so tourists can't get through if they go on and turn a corner. When I got back to the intersection, I saw on the back of the sign: I didn't listen, I deserved it.

= = Examination room events = =

Whenever I take an exam, I get 890 points. I play as I please in the examination room, and I win the score twice. Do you really think I did it alone? But seriously! The exam is a mid-term examination room for a group of people. No, this is the final exam. There are 20 seconds before the papers are handed in. McGrady is going to cheat. The dean of the department stood beside him, talking nonsense. It's the headmaster. Anyway, McGrady passed the ball to Kobe with a low throw ... with 10 seconds left, McGrady got the answer! In the last 3 seconds, he needs a fill-in-the-blank question! The answer is coming, and the whole examination room wants to stop him! But he copied it. It's the left hand! Oh, dear, even the teacher was moved to tears. But the newspaper said: I won't ... yes, like that.

An Englishman, a China and a Japanese compete in marksmanship. They found a woman to tie her to a tree, but instead of hitting her, they put something on her head. The first one is an Englishman. He put an apple on the woman's head and only heard a bang. The apple was smashed to pieces. The Englishman blew the muzzle calmly and said, "I am Zorro" (meaning he is a sharpshooter). The second one is from China. He put a grape on the woman's head and only heard a bang. The grapes were broken into pieces. The China man blew his gun calmly and said, "I am Bond" (meaning he is 007). Speaking of Japanese, people thought he would put a sesame seed or something, but who knows he put a watermelon bigger than a human head. He aimed for more than three hours and only heard a bang. This woman's head is thin and broken. At this time, everyone nearby shouted "Somebody, killed someone", only the Japanese calmly blew the muzzle and said "I'm sorry."

3. In order to test the police forces of the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who could find them first.

In front of the first forest is the American police. They first spent a whole half-day meeting to formulate a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for a carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away and the task failed!

Then it's the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest. The leader shouted rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded. Come out and surrender ... Half a day has passed, but nothing has happened. Flying Tigers entered the forest to search again, and the mission failed!

Finally, there are only four policemen in China. They played mahjong for a day first. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. Five minutes later, they heard the screams of animals in the forest. The policeman in China came out laughing and talking with a cigarette in his mouth, dragging a black and blue bear behind him. The bear is dying, so stop playing. I am a rabbit. .......

When a mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, the dean called a meeting of the patients in the hospital. At the meeting, the dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and everyone should meet them at the door. When welcoming, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. When I cough, everyone applauds together, the warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, we can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will have buns to eat, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!"

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the dean's cough, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. Infected by the warm atmosphere, the visiting leaders smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only this leader is still smiling and clapping, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "Do you want to eat steamed bread? ! ! ! "

6. A psycho got a pistol from somewhere. He walked in a black alley. Suddenly I met a young man. Without saying anything, the psycho pressed him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head! Question: What is 1+ 1=?

The young man was frightened! Meditate for a long time. Answer: equal to 2''? That psycho shot him without hesitation! Then I pulled the gun in my arms and said coldly, you know too much.

7. A young lady who just got her driver's license is driving. At the intersection, the car suddenly stalled and she couldn't start it. So she had to watch the red light turn yellow, then the yellow light turned green, and then the green light turned red, but she couldn't walk! The traffic police on the side couldn't help it, and came over and asked, why, there is no color you like?

9. A luxury ship carrying passengers from all over the world is carrying an iceberg and is about to sink. Captain, in order to encourage passengers to jump into the sea to escape,

Say to China people, "It looks like delicious fish are swimming."

For North Koreans, "Now is a desperate opportunity. If you jump now, you don't need to return to North Korea. "

For the British, "as a gentleman, you have to jump at this time."

For Germans, "you should jump according to the rules."

For Italians, "a beautiful woman just jumped."

Say to Americans: "If you want to be a hero, then jump."

For Russians, "that bottle of vodka was washed away, and it's not too late to chase it."

Say to the French, "Please don't jump."

To the Japanese, "Everyone jumped, but don't you jump?" 」

Crew: "Captain! Koreans still have!

"Leave him alone, captain! 」

Crew "Why?

The captain said, "if he jumps into the sea and escapes, we will be in trouble."

He will ask us for an apology and compensation because his clothes are wet. "