Chongqing dialect joke

B: Your mother won't sell you?

In the early spring of 2046, Chengdu Shuangliu Airport ...

[Air ticket] The airport automatic broadcast keeps broadcasting: "Sichuan Airlines flight 045 1, beijing beijing, fare 80 yuan, no change, please show me your monthly ticket."

[Security check] There are a lot of people, some carrying snakeskin bags, some carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspector is sweating: "Backpackers, you have to pay for tickets, you are overweight and old." "Why? Last time, two sacks of potatoes made me too old. " Another passenger leaned in and said, "Come on, brothers, have a cigarette. Look at my live chicken bag. If there is no room in the cabin to tie them to the wings of the plane, they will be old. Anyway, they can fly by themselves, without consuming the oil of the plane ... "

[Boarding] The flight attendants are all wearing red embroidered badges, holding small flags and holding up big speakers: "What are you squeezing? People lined up. You made fun of me, old man. You squeezed Hazare with your head ... Take out the ticket, and if you don't buy a ticket to tease me, you will be fined ten yuan! Wave, is captain wang's uncle old officer, that's old into the hole ... "

[Take-off] The plane climbed to the height of 80 stories and was hovering over the city. The captain opened the hatch and shouted, "hey, the one on the 80 th floor, Beijing can't leave, it's ten yuan each!" There is room! Come on, stop. Haha, someone jumped over! "

[Flying] A child had to pee, and the stewardess said, "The toilet is full of potatoes, and I was shocked. I'll open the door for you, just make do. For the elderly, it is windy outside, fasten your seat belt! " Co-pilot: "Yes ~ ~, which cub is in front?" There is a plane! " Captain: "It's 02! The puppy teased me to grab business with Lao Tzu, making me unable to sit still behind, and Lao Tzu wanted to overtake. ...

Flight attendant: Yes, there are UFOs outside! Captain: "Look at Harry's head! 20 yuan, an alien. Ask them if they will go? " Passengers complained: "There are many people to be packed, why not squeeze them all into a paste?" ? ..... "The plane rocked violently. Stewardess: "Ladies and gentlemen, there is something wrong with the plane engine. Two engines are broken. We may be late. "Passenger:" Shit, it's a wave. If we turn off four engines, shall we spend the night in the sky? "