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China homophonic joke
Chinese homophonic joke 10 word 1 1.
A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wants to go by plane. Afraid that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "There is an opportunity, do you want to seize it?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was an "opportunity" to conclude the transaction and immediately called back: "Take it if you can." When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified and would not be reimbursed by plane. The salesman took out the manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.
2.
On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal. During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon."
3.
At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Don't be an official! "
4.
A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."
She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"
Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "
Chinese homophonic joke 10 word 2 Many Chinese characters are syllables with the same * * *, and different tones form different words and meanings. Sometimes, some people who have just learned Chinese or Putonghua well will easily make a lot of jokes because of these homophones. Let's enjoy the jokes brought by these interesting Chinese homophones.
Eat dumplings
One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.
The beautiful service lady came to ask, my friend always missed any opportunity to practice Chinese and rushed to say, "How much is a sleep?" ?
The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.
Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.
He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?
The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"
"That's the yellow one!"
Eat standing up
A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."
She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"
Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "
Do what you see.
Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his field, but he had to be given a chicken first.
A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about renting the land for the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty, opened his eyes and said, "There are no three kinds of land." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.
As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"
Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"
The landlord replied: "I just said' nonsense', and now this sentence is accidental."
At a meeting in the village, the village head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits and shrimps, dogs ate today's meal, and everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls.
The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you." One kind of shooting, the other kind of bombing. Let me show you. )
A foreigner came to China and gave himself a China name, Mao Wei. He is looking for a job in China. He came to a company and a man asked him, "What's your last name?" He replied, "My last name is Wei." "Wei what?" "Why? Why am I surnamed Wei? Needless to say? "
The bus I took arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off in a column. Just as the door was about to close, a lady shouted outside. "I will die in your car!"
I was so nervous that I closed the door immediately, stepped on the gas pedal and thought; "There are many strange people in this city."
Unexpectedly, the lady called a taxi to chase my bus and finally stopped.
The door opened and the lady shouted again; "Why don't you stop? I am going to die in your car! "
I dare not ask her; "Miss, what's bothering you?"
He angrily walked to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me; "I'm dying [the key is in your car!"
Chinese homophonic joke 10 word 3 Xiehouyu is a special language form created by Chinese working people since ancient times. This is a short, interesting and vivid sentence. It consists of two parts: the former part plays the role of "introduction", like a riddle, and the latter part plays the role of "backing", like a riddle, which is very natural and appropriate. In a certain language environment, you can understand and guess the original intention by saying the first half sentence and "resting" the second half sentence, so it is called two-part allegorical saying. Han civilization has a long history. Five thousand years of historical vicissitudes have precipitated, refined and condensed into a wonderful Chinese language art, in which two-part allegorical sayings have their unique expressive force. Give people profound thinking and enlightenment, spread through the ages. It reflects the unique customs, traditions and national culture of the Chinese nation, tastes life, understands philosophy and improves wisdom.
A scholar writes poetry-he has two hands (the first one).
Bald man takes off his hat-the first name (Ming)
For the girl of the Zheng family-just right (Zheng He)
Abdominal rowing-expert (navigation)
Measure rice with a turtle cover-What sound (L)
There's smoke in the rice cooker-the rice is burnt.
Light mosquito-repellent incense under the bed-there are no mosquitoes.
Frozen tofu-difficult to mix (mix)
Stir-fry hot beans in a cold pot-the noisier (stir-fry), the colder.
Have words (pictures) have words.
Sand versus bluestone-solid (stone) versus solid (stone)
Sailing on the beach-it's shallow.
Cows without horns-fake scolding (horses)
I missed the temple fair-don't worry (crowded)
A coffin without a bottom-no one can be filled.
No money to buy conch-save (suck)
A pregnant woman crosses a wooden bridge-desperate and risky.
A blind man enters a cigarette shop-Hyundai (touching the light)
Bags in the air-pretend to be crazy (pretend to be windy)
Song Jiang's strategist-useless (Wu Yong)
The old woman went to the henhouse-idiot (running eggs)
The straw hat seller lost his pole-be careful (leave the rope)
Brother is not at home-come on (sister-in-law)
Nephew plays with lanterns-as usual (according to uncle)
Rain hits Huangmei's head-bad luck (falling plum)
Half cotton-no talking (no bullets)
Bald man with an umbrella-lawlessness (lawlessness)
China homophonic joke 10 Word 4 Eat a catty.
The teacher asked Xiaoming to make a sentence with "eat a catty".
Xiao Ming said: I was walking on the road and saw a pile of cow dung. Be startled (by a kilo).
The teacher praised: "Massive, massive ..."
There is only one channel.
The boss of the dormitory has a new girlfriend, who gave him a new walkman. The boss looked at the instructions, fiddled with them and said to himself, "Everything is fine, but there is only one channel!" " ".Old three watched martial arts in the upper bunk and asked," Isn't one enough? "The boss said," I want to have one more channel, so I can connect to the computer. "
4600 yuan for a sexual intercourse
At the beginning of the new semester, several students in my dormitory and I went to the department to pay tuition. A notice was posted at the door of the department office: this year, a unified fee will be imposed, and sexual intercourse will cost 4,600 yuan, and no accommodation fee will be charged.
How much is it to sleep in jiaozi?
One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend, and a beautiful waitress came to ask.
Friends always miss any chance to practice Chinese and say "Go to sleep (jiaozi)". how much is it?
The young lady was embarrassed and angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.
Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.
He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?
The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"
"It's yellow ..."
Can you tell me something about Jing Yue?
I took "China Ancient Literature". In my first class, the teacher talked about Confucianism, main figures and representative works, including "Four Books" and "Five Classics". A few minutes before class, the teacher asked the students to ask questions freely. A girl in the front row stood up and asked, "I saw Jing Yue mentioned in some books. Can you tell me what Jing Yue is about? " . There was a burst of laughter in the classroom.
Today is a big day for two students.
When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl. When the secretary of our League branch presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students …" The rest of the students laughed their heads off.
How much is a night's sleep (bowl) in jiaozi?
Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?"
The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only steamed bread."
Old Dong said, "Oh, just touch the bun."
The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "Rogue!" "
Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Six hairs? Too cheap! "
Trust me if you can. Let me see how long you are.
Once, two girls came to our dormitory to play with tractors. A group of two girls, a group of five elder brothers and me. Girls always stink, but they are lucky. They won a few hands and began to smile. Finally, once it was the fifth person's turn to sit in the village. They showed the hearts as their owners, and I turned them into squares. At this time, I saw the fifth strike the table and said excitedly, "There is a pair at last!" " Drag them out first, and then get it done slowly! "At this moment, a girl persistently said," Don't worry if you have the skill! "! I want to see how long you are! "
Chinese homophonic joke 10 word 5 1. Ten bamboos and one leaf.
There was a poet named Wang in the Northern Song Dynasty. He was very arrogant when he was young. I'm a little ignorant. I always feel capable. One day, he went to a garden to play and saw a bamboo forest. Bamboo is green and looks good. Wang Qi saw it and immediately thought of a joint sentence. I began to write: Ye Feng has a thousand swords; I am so angry. Wang Qi compared drooping bamboo leaves to swords and straight bamboo poles to spears, which is an image. He showed this couplet to his friends, and everyone praised him for his good writing. Wang Qi happily posted couplets on the wall of the house. He also boasted: "If anyone can change a word, I will give him twelve taels of gold for free!" " "How crazy. A few days later, Su Dongpo, a college student, visited him and saw the couplets. He didn't say anything. Pretend to say to Sue, "I wrote these two sentences. Please give me your advice. Su Dongpo smiled and said to Wang Qi, "This couplet is good, but it takes ten bamboos to spell a Ye Er!" ! "Come to think of it, Wang Qi, yes! I wrote Chiba and Wan Gan. There are fewer bamboos in Ye Er, and an average of ten bamboos can grow a piece of Ye Er. What is this called bamboo? Wang Qi's face looks like a big red cloth. She thanked Su Dongpo assiduously and said, "Well said, well said. "From now on, Wang Qi is no longer crazy, she is learning honestly. Since then, he has become a poet with real talent and learning. According to Wei Songqing's Poet Jade Scrap, Volume 11.
2. The Man in Front is wonderful. Prime Minister Kou Zhun was a famous prime minister in the Northern Song Dynasty.
One day, he chatted with several senior officials and wrote a couplet for them to come: underwater day is the sky day; The sun in the water is just the shadow of the sun in the sky. Hearing this, these big officials stared at each other with small eyes, and no one could compare with them. It happened that day that Yang Danian came to see the Prime Minister Kou. Kou Zhun talked with Yang Danian about business and told him the first part just now. Yang Danian stared at Kou Zhun's eyes. After a little thinking, he immediately replied: the person in the eye is the person in front of him. Kou Zhun is talking about the shadow of the sun, and Yang Danian is talking about the figure. When I stand in front of your eyes, your eyes will definitely reflect my figure. This is called "the person in the eyes is the person in front of you". Readers, if you don't believe me, just stare into other people's eyes and try! According to Ouyang Xiu's Record of Returning to the Field, Song Zengmin published Du Xing Magazine.
3. Yang Danian correctly scolded the traitor Yang Danian, became an academician and worked as an assistant minister of the Ministry of Industry in the imperial court.
Yang Danian looks very energetic, especially when his beard is thick and long, which is over his chest. It's really beautiful. It was early in the morning. Yang Danian came out of the palace and happened to meet Ding Weisong. Ding Wei looked at Yang Danian's long beard in the Song Dynasty and joked with him: the worship of Neihan must sweep the floor; Neihan is Hanlin. It means that when you, a bearded academician, kowtow to the emperor [Tiá o zhǒ u], your beard sweeps the floor like a broom. Who is this Ding Wei of the Song Dynasty? This is a big shot! Ding Wei and treacherous court official Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty pushed out Kou Zhun, the prime minister of Northern Liao Dynasty, and finally he became prime minister and Jin Wengong. Ding Wei and Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty, as well as three bad guys, were called "Five Ghosts of the Imperial Court". Yang Danian hated GREAT GHOST in Five Ghosts for a long time. Song took a look and replied coldly: "xianggong is sitting in the sky!" "xianggong" refers to Ding Wei, the prime minister of the Song Dynasty: the "curtain" is a big tent. Yang Danian is saying that you, the prime minister, crowd out good people and monopolize the court. You can really dominate the world! When Song Dynasty heard that Yang Danian turned to scold himself, he was very angry. But on second thought, I confessed it myself, and I couldn't be angry, so I had to laugh a few times. According to Song Ouyang Xiu's Return to the Field.
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