Selected children's animal jokes

The centipede was bitten by a snake, so it must be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs ~! ! The doctor consoled: relax, brother, you will be an earthworm in the future.

2. jokes about snakes, elephants and camels

An elephant asked the camel: Why does your * * * grow on your back?

Camel said: stay away from death, I don't talk to things with dicks on my face!

The snake laughed hysterically after listening to the conversation between the elephant and the camel.

The elephant turned to the snake and said, Laugh! Your face on the penis is not qualified to speak!

3. plainclothes dog joke

A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and suddenly ran over to ask it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes!

4. Black Cat Sheriff+Joke Solving the Case

On New Year's Eve, Flower Pig died in Lan Kwai Fong, and Sheriff Black Cat came back from his hometown in the countryside to settle the case. After some investigation, the black cat sheriff quickly locked the suspect into a dog. "There are so many dogs, which one should I catch?" Asked the white cat. "People with beards have the longest beards." Sheriff Black Cat has a plan. After being caught, the dog with the longest beard admitted to killing the pig. Afterwards, the animals asked the black cat sheriff how to solve the case quickly. Sheriff Black Cat said that he went back to his hometown to study the human zodiac and the chronology of branches and branches before the Spring Festival in the Year of the Sheep. One of them is called "the dog hurts the pig". The actual investigation is really like this, and many animals sigh: human beings are really great!

5. Joke Happy Chicken

The chicken wants to know what happiness is! So he ran to ask the tiger, and the tiger replied: A family together is happiness! Then he ran to ask the lion. The lion said: having three wives and four concubines is happiness! Then I ran to ask the leopard, and the leopard said: having a healthy body is happiness! The chicken ran home happily and told her mother everything she knew today! Mom said: in fact, you are the happiest today! The chicken was puzzled and asked, Why? The hen said: You are alive today!

All fools know that mice love rice.

Mr. Mouse proposed to Miss Mouse with a bunch of roses: "Please marry me!" " "

Miss mouse suddenly raised her eyebrows and said, "all fools know that mice love rice, and you send flowers!" " "

7. After the mouse has money.

The mouse said, "You want to make me rich, hum, who dares to look down on me and other mice?" I want to cover all the streets. Come on, Ren Woxing. No, it's not enough. I have to hire ten cats to clear my way! "

8. Damn rats

One day, the monkey came to the cat's house to play. Seeing the cat and mouse running around arrogantly, the monkey was puzzled. He asked the cat curiously, "God, what's going on?"? Why don't mice treat you like this! " "

The cat sighed and replied helplessly, "Alas, the hateful mouse knows that I am pregnant and dare not exercise vigorously ..."

9. Three mice blow Daniel.

Three mice gathered on an international yacht. The first mouse said, "I'm from Japan. I eat sashimi and drink sake. I don't have to worry about anything. I have never treated a robot cat like a cat. "

The second mouse said, "I'm from America." I eat cheese and drink whisky. I like going to Disney. I forgot to say that Garfield and I are at peace. "

The third mouse didn't say anything but snorted softly, "Sheriff Black Cat." Suddenly, a robust cat jumped out, stepped forward and said, "Boss, did you call me?"

10. The mouse recited Tang poems before meals.

Every time before eating, mother mouse asked him to recite Tang poems against the rice on the plate: Who knows that every grain of Chinese food is hard?

After a long time, the little mouse got tired of this habit of reciting poems and inexplicably asked his mother, "Mom, I don't want to recite any more. You don't grow food, so why ... "

Hearing this, the mother mouse gave the little mouse a hard mouth and shouted in disappointment, "I want you to know how difficult it is for your mother to take her life as a bet and steal these things back!" " "

1 1.

The boat was leaking, and the animals decided to tell jokes. As long as someone doesn't laugh, the speaker will jump. No sooner had the lion finished than the audience laughed, except for the pig, who looked dull and didn't laugh. So the lion jumped down. It's the elephant's turn. Before the elephant spoke, the pig kept laughing. Everyone is puzzled. So he asked the pig. The pig said: The joke told by the lion just now is really funny, hahahaha ~

12. joke snakes and elephants have faces in JJ.

One day, a camel met an elephant, and the elephant laughed at the camel. Hey, hey, why do you have it on your back? The camel is angry. You said I counted my hair, and your penis grew on your face. . So a snake came over and laughed there. The elephant was angry and said, you have the right to laugh, but you have no right to laugh at things with faces on the penis.

13. The joke story of two ants and snakes

Two ant brothers were accidentally blown into the girl's * * * by a gust of wind!

Brother: "Brother, I guess you have to sleep in the cave tonight!" " "

Brother: "Well, where do you sleep, brother?"

Brother: "Then I'll sleep on the lawn outside!" " "

In this way, after a night!

The next day, my brother said angrily, "What a pity! Last night, a snake ran around the hole and finally spat at me! " "

Hearing this, my brother was furious: "Shit! I'm worse. Two big stones kept hitting me all night! ! !

The joke of elephant and pig.

After the divorce between the pig and the elephant, the pig said loudly everywhere: "The nose is not hairy, so long, I think I am long-haired mm"

Hearing this, the elephant muttered angrily, "Then you have a short nose and pretend to be rich."

15. Making jokes about chickens

Two hens walked past a rooster. One of them said, "Why is he always listless recently?"

The other said, "I'm tired of doing business!" "

The first hen asked curiously, "What are you selling?"

The second sighed and said, "Chicken essence!"

16. Hens sell chicken essence jokes

Two hens were chatting when they suddenly saw a rooster coming listlessly.

The hen asked, "What's the matter? No spirit? "

The rooster said, "I did some business!" " "

The hen asked, "What business are you tired of?"

The cock said shyly, "Well ... I sold some chicken essence ..."

17. The joke of the hungry fox stealing chickens

A hungry fox found a henhouse, but it was too fat to cross the fence. It was hungry for three days before it slimmed itself down and finally came in.

The fox enjoyed the delicious food, but after a full meal, he found that he could not go out again, so he had to go out without food or drink for three days and nights, and his stomach was growling with hunger.

18. Loyal dog jokes

A: "Do you have a German short-haired hound? I want to buy one. "

B: "Yes, and it's wonderful!"

A: "Great. But is that dog loyal? "

B: "Of course. I have sold it four times, and I can run back by myself every time! "

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