"Accompanying Children to Grow Lifelong" Speech Manuscript (Three Pillars of Parent-child Education)

"Accompanying Children's Lifelong Growth" is the new work of teacher Fan Deng. When it comes to Fan Deng, everyone is familiar with it. He is the host of CCTV. The programs he has hosted include "To Tell the Truth", "Studio 12", "Samsung Intelligence Express", the "Growth Online" series "Dad Training Class", "Struggle", "Business Legend" " wait. In October 2013, he founded the "Fan Deng Reading Club".

He said this book was written for all parents who are worried about their children. Your anxiety and worry will not make your child suddenly become better, because anxiety and worry are just instincts, and in the process of adapting to modern society, what parents need to give their children is knowledge, patience and love.

Parents with many children are just like the joke says: There are three kinds of stupid birds in the world. The first kind of stupid bird flies away first, and the second kind of stupid bird is too tired and doesn’t want to fly. , the third kind of stupid bird desperately lays eggs in the nest so that its offspring can fly...

So how should we accompany our children to grow up throughout their lives? Today we will talk about the three pillars of parent-child education: first, "unconditional love", second, "sense of value", and third, "lifelong growth mentality."

True love does not require exchange. The first pillar in parent-child education is unconditional love. In unconditional love, no exchange is necessary.

The reality is that many parents often set a goal for their children: "If you get 100 points on this test, I will take you to Disneyland." When the child fails to do well in the test, the parents say: "How can I take the test?" Why are we taking you to play like this? "If the rewards are cancelled, the children will feel that their parents love their grades, not themselves.

You should let your child trust and rely on you unconditionally, provided that you love him unconditionally. There is no exchange, no intimidation, and no threats.

When a person has a sense of value, he will know that he is worthy of being loved, his heart will be full of energy, he will be full of expectations for the future, and he will have a high degree of enthusiasm for life.

Teacher Fan Deng gave an example to illustrate the sense of value of life. When he was in school, some classmates got into fights and carried knives. When he was discussing with his classmates whether to bring a knife for self-defense, one classmate said three words: "It's not worth it." This sentence gave him great inspiration and made him realize that he should not fight with people who do not know how to cherish life.

He said that sometimes when I meet bad people, even if they bully me, I will walk away patiently because my life is valuable.

When a person realizes that his life is valuable, he will not give up on himself easily, nor will he fight with others.

? How can we make children feel valuable?

You have to give your children opportunities to do things. There are many families where children don’t know how to do housework at all, and parents don’t let their children do things. They say that children's task is to study, and as long as they take care of their studies, they don't need to worry about other things. Parents create conditions for their children to only learn. The children have to wash the dishes and mop the floor, but they don’t have to! In this case, the child will not feel his own value if he has not contributed to the family.

A child’s contribution to the family is all-round. For example, children can participate in cleaning the house. His growth itself can bring laughter to everyone, and his presence is enough to become a mobilizer of family atmosphere.

I will invite my children to prepare breakfast with me in the morning. When I finish it, I will take pictures and make them into commemorative cards, and say to my children: "Baby, thank you for preparing the fruit and putting it on the plate carefully. It is so beautiful." "The child also feels happy that he can help his mother. This is the most basic manifestation of the sense of value.

? Even if a person is very capable of doing things, he is willing to contribute to this society, but if he has a fixed mindset, it will be very difficult for him to do things. The reason is that his purpose in doing things is not simple. He has only one purpose in doing things - to prove himself, rather than simply doing things, which brings a heavy burden and baggage to himself.

The author gives an example of basketball superstar Michael Jordan.

Jordan was eliminated from the basketball team in high school because he had no advantages in height or skills.

His mother gave him three words very calmly at that time: "Practice hard." This sentence is very important. It taught Jordan to solve problems without emotion.

Later, Jordan became a sports genius in the basketball world through hard training.

Later he fell in love with playing baseball, but because he never played well, he came back to play basketball. At first, he had no technical advantage, but after another round of hard training, he finally reached the top again.

This is the change brought about by growth mindset. If we can cultivate a lifelong growth mentality in our children, we don’t have to worry about him not being happy enough, because he is absorbing nutrients from every event in his life and is constantly learning.

? Yule hopes that every parent can learn the three pillars of parent-child education and accompany their children to grow together throughout their lives.

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? Yule talks about parenting