Do you have any jokes to amuse your wife?

1. Snakes, ants, spiders and centipedes play mahjong at home. After eight laps, the cigarette was finished. Let's discuss who to buy cigarettes for. The snake said, "I have no feet." I'm not going. Let the ants go. " The ant said, "A spider has eight feet, more than mine. Let the spider go. " The spider said, "No matter how many feet I have, I can't compare with the centipede. Put the centipede. " The centipede was helpless, thinking: No way, who let me have more feet? So the centipede went out to buy cigarettes ... for more than an hour, the centipede didn't come back. Two hours later, the centipede didn't come back to buy cigarettes. So everyone let the spider go out and have a look. As soon as the spider went out, he saw the centipede sitting at the door. The spider was very angry and asked, "Why don't you go?" Everyone is waiting. The centipede was also anxious and said, "Nonsense! You have to wait for me to put on my shoes! "

2? Late one night, when a young woman passed by a mental hospital, there was a sudden "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. Desperate, the woman knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever, just don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "