Recycling jokes!

1, too loud. Zhuge Liang is a master of the eight eccentrics, and one of his specialties is ventriloquism. It is said that Zhuge Liang discussed with Liu Bei in his account this day. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. I'm really sorry. He had a brainwave and said, "Master, I call you like a woodpecker. How about adjusting the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang barked twice in imitation of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't hear it. " 2. Chicken ribs On this day, Cao * and Sina's nephew were in after making love in the bedroom. The nephew was still unfinished and said, "Come again, come again." Cao wanted to say, but he was exhausted, so he replied, "The chicken is tired." Just then, after Cao *' s bedroom, thinking that Cao * was talking to him, he ran out to announce the code name of this military operation, "Chicken Rib". Cao Zhi was furious and beheaded. The tryst said that one day, Wang Yun invited Dong Zhuo to drink at home. During the dinner, The Story Of Diu Sim, Yun3' s daughter, was in charge of pouring wine. Dong Zhuo and The Story Of Diu Sim are flirting, but they are eager for each other. When he left, The Story Of Diu Sim knocked on Dong Zhuo's head three times, and then left with his hand behind his back. In the middle of the night, Dong Zhuo entered from the back door of Wang Yungu's house and came to The Story Of Diu Sim's room. The door opened automatically. Dong Zhuo walked in the door for a while and saw two doors. It says "married" on one side and "unmarried" on the other. Dong Zhuo walked in through the "unmarried" door. After a short walk, there are two more doors at the end of the corridor, which say "experienced" and "inexperienced" Dong Zhuo walked on through the "inexperienced" door and came to the end of the corridor, where there were also two doors. It says "10 cm above" and "10 cm below". Dong Zhuo opened the door of "less than 10 cm" and went out on the road ... 4. After Mrs. Miao Fangmi gave birth to A Dou, she was troubled by the pulling problem of A Dou. I'll ask Hua Tuo. Mrs. Mi asked, "Dr. Hua, my family plays N times a day. Is there a better way than using diapers? " Hua Tuo thought for a moment and replied, "Yes! You can raise a few shells. " 5, each has its own wonderful method. It is said that when Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei just came out to mix, they were once caught by the enemy and thrown on a desert island in the sea. There is nothing to eat on the island. Three days later, the three were empty and hungry. Zhang Fei said, "It's better to cut off the baby and eat it than starve to death." Then he pulled out a knife and cut his little brother. Guan Yu quickly stopped him and scolded 1, "* *! Don't cut in a hurry, knead and cut again, there is more meat! " At this time, they heard Liu Bei whining. Looking back, I saw Liu Bei masturbating and asked, "Is Big Brother still in this mood at this time?" Liu Bei looked up and replied, "Idiot! Make some sauce and eat it. " 6. Chocolate said that on this day, Zhao Yun and Zhang Fei were in the same room. When Zhao Yun's women were excited, I couldn't see Zhang Fei and his women who were working hard, and I couldn't help crying. Zhao Yun was puzzled and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woman replied, "I want chocolate, too!" " "7. Skiing said that when Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei just came out to mix, they were once caught by an enemy and locked in a room. It was winter and it was snowing heavily. At night, when they sleep, they will huddle together to keep warm. The next day, three people woke up. Liu Bei, who slept on the left, said, "I dreamed that I was in * * *. Guan Yu, who slept on the right, said, "I dreamed that I was in * * *. Zhang Fei, who slept in the middle, said, I dreamed that I was skiing! On the other hand, one day, Zhuge Liang said to his subordinates, "Today, each of you will write a paper on how to attack Wei. If you are extremely tired, you can write tomorrow. " Zhang Bao asked: "Prime Minister, does excessive sexual behavior count as physical fatigue?" Zhuge Liang said angrily, "Shit! Can't you write with your other hand? ! "9. I hurt my self-esteem, but one day, Liu Bei said to Mrs. Mi," Can you tell me when you will climax in the future? " Mrs Mi said, "But …" Liu Bei said, "But what?" Mrs Mi said, "I'm afraid ..." Liu Bei said, "Afraid of what?" Mrs. Meade said, "You said before that if I was with another man, you would kill me." Liu Bei: "#% ..."10. In bed, he said that The Story Of Diu Sim was trying to turn Dong Zhuo and Lu Bu against each other and at the same time hooked them up. On this day, Dong Zhuo was drinking with Lu Bu. Dong Zhuo said, "That's what The Story Of Diu Sim and I did the day before yesterday. She is really good in bed, much better than my wife. " Lu Bu said, "To tell you the truth, I had sex with The Story Of Diu Sim yesterday. Indeed, much better than your wife in bed! "