20 15 Jockey Club Life Humor 1 to 100.

Betrayed

When I was young, my brother and I were going to steal money to buy some food. As soon as my parents found out, they asked us to resume the offer.

I pointed to fifty yuan and said, "Look, let's buy something to eat."

The goods actually came to a sentence: "No, brother, we can't do this!"

Students who have done the following behaviors should consciously like it ~

1, get off at the wrong station by bus; 2. Go upstairs to the wrong floor;

3. Go to school in the wrong class; 4. Go home and open the wrong door;

5. The short message was sent to the wrong person; 6. Greet the wrong person;

7, acquaintances call the wrong name; 8. Don't bring towels or underwear when taking a bath;

9. Forgot to bring change, forgot to pay, and left without anything;

10, walk into trees, doors and telephone poles;

1 1. I have something in my hand, but I can't stop looking for it.

armistice agreement

A man and a woman bicker every day, and one day the woman said to the man, "Let's call a truce!" " Man: "A truce? How to stop? " Woman: "Let's follow the historical practice! "Man:" Kiss? "

The most happy thing

The happiest thing every day is to watch my wife pat her face with lotion in the morning. That's so cool. While listening, I said to myself, "I told you to let me wash my socks, let me pick up the children, tell you not to let me drink, tell you not to let me play games, fight, fight, fight for me!"

A little joke

A woman is lovelorn and crying. All her friends were comforting her, only to know later that she and her boyfriend had gone out to get a room and slept in the middle. Her boyfriend woke her up with tears in his eyes and said, I miss my mother. Want to go home.

The price of getting drunk

My brother-in-law came home drunk at night, and my sister was very angry, but she couldn't get angry with the drunk, so she put lipstick on herself and kissed some marks on her sleeping husband's neck and face. When my brother-in-law woke up the next day, my sister began to quarrel with him and asked him where he had been fooling around yesterday. Mother-in-law came to stop the fight and saw the lipstick mark on her son's face, which was a slap. In the next few days, my brother-in-law tried to remember what he did that night.

I hope your roommates and teachers are happy.

1, there is a boy in our dormitory who is unsociable and likes a girl. Once he got up the courage to call his roommate: I want to invite you to climb the mountain tomorrow.

The roommate hesitated and asked, where shall we meet?

The boy said shyly, let's meet at the top of the mountain. . .

2, a sister paper in the dormitory is worried that she will not get married if she has a bad temper, and she will linger in the dormitory all day.

I can't stand the sister paper in bed, saying, "You can definitely get married, and you can get married several times!" "

3. Introduce yourself. . .

Hello, my name is Chen Xiaomai.

Well, my name is Xin Mi. . .

Ha ha ha ha. . .

Head teacher: Pay attention to classroom discipline, and don't laugh. I am everyone's class teacher. My name is Liang Cang.

4. The roommate is ugly and can't find a boyfriend. Finally one day I met a net friend.

After a while, she came back crying. We asked her how she was, and she said, "He just said I wasn't good enough for you and left."

A roommate comforted: "Nothing. People are very smooth. Don't be too sad. "

. . .