How do you deal with parents' forced marriage?

At the age of marriage, parents are more anxious than their children. Children passively arrange blind dates, but they have no say in their feelings. It doesn't matter whether you like it or not, as long as your parents approve it, because "feelings can be cultivated slowly."

Feelings between men and women? No, there is no love element. Under the intervention of both parents, it directly evolved to the family level-two in-laws can talk and look at each other pleasing to the eye.

This is the real marriage. Once both parents agree, they can talk about marriage. Children's opinions have no reason to be reserved, and they will be forced into marriage by their parents if they are emotionally intense. The arm can't twist the thigh, and the child finally got married under the tough pressure of his parents.

However, the emotional problems faced by the parties can't escape after all! Are couples who come together under the oppression of reality really happy in their marriage? Did couples who experienced forced marriage develop feelings later? The two families, talking about the love between men and women, told the truth.

Men's article: Mr. Liu who was forced to get married by his parents

At the age of 28, I still didn't fall in love or have a date. My parents are very anxious and urge me to have a blind date every day, but I perfunctory, sometimes deliberately avoiding it and coming home late from work. Later, when the house in the city was renovated, I moved there myself, so my ears were clean.

But I was wrong. They turned words into actions without permission and came to me directly. The woman is my parents' colleague, both of whom teach English in the junior middle school in the town. Needless to say, the three of them are very familiar, so such a daughter-in-law does not need a running-in period.

One weekend, my parents took the woman to the city to find me, and I passively completed their blind date arrangement. Later, my father repeatedly tricked me into going to school to date their prospective daughter-in-law on the grounds that I was not feeling well.

I am the only child in my family, and my father is very strong. Everything in my family is under his control and others must obey unconditionally. I can't have a word against marriage, otherwise, he will tell me all kinds of reasons about filial piety; Or pretend to be sick and say that I am so angry that his chest hurts.

My father's step by step pressure, coupled with my mother's soft grinding and hard foam, I obeyed them. Married life, I am a walking corpse, everyone is happy, I will come. What can we do? I can't stand being labeled as "unfilial" at every turn!

After two years of marriage, everyone has his own place. Parents have daughters-in-law and grandchildren, and they are happy from ear to ear. They love my wife very much and have a good relationship with their mother-in-law, so their parents-in-law are very satisfied. Only me, facing that impulsive person every day, has nowhere to put my soul.

There is no fluctuation in my life. I have no new expectations for life. It seems that everything is expected. Under my father's arrangement, I just need to do it and carry it out. Slowly, I lost my passion for life, muddling along and trying to escape.

Finally, stimulated by being urged to have a second child, I made a great resistance for the first time. I stayed in the company dormitory for half a year and didn't come home. I am determined to get a divorce. Father made trouble twice but failed. The last time I invited my best friend to buy me a drink, he was drunk and had a big fight with me in the hotel. He cried, and I cried. ...

The next step is ready. I broke my parents' hearts. They don't care about my son. On the other hand, I am determined to live a free life. I am free to fall in love and have children. This is the married life I want, and it's nothing more common.

I didn't ask too much, but I became an asshole: disappointing my wife, abandoning my son, contradicting my parents, drinking too much, staying out at night ... I won't look back, and I don't know what to do next, so I can only take it one step at a time.

Women: Ms. Zhao who was forced to get married by her parents

I have a very lovely person. I met him online and talked with him for two years. He is very kind to me, and we all like each other. But my parents beat Yuanyang, they didn't agree with me to be with him, and arranged for me to get married on a blind date.

I've only been married for three months now, and I'm going to divorce soon, because I have no feelings for that man. Obeying my parents, I also completed the task. After the second marriage, I will live independently, and I have no mind to deal with those contradictions with my parents.

What moved me was that the person I like said, "I don't mind. Please be quiet for a while and adjust. I am willing to wait for you. " But I mind. He is such a good man, he is still perfect, and I ... I don't deserve him.

It's really nice to know him. After more than two years of twists and turns, we can't be together after all. It's hard to say whether we can be together in the future. Even if he doesn't mind, won't his parents resent it? Marriage is mixed with too many tears, and it is no longer a sacred temple in my heart.

My husband is innocent and I got a second marriage. I have nothing to say. Marriage without feelings, I can't laugh, very depressed. I'm really tired, I can't bear to continue, and I can't bear to delay the next generation. So I'll end it early.

summary

It's not sweet to twist a melon. Both Mr. Liu and Zhao Nvshi are unhappy in their marriage. The following are some suggestions for all parents, hoping that the elders will be merciful and try to understand their children and accept their marriage partners:

First of all, don't get married in a hurry. Even if the child is not in a hurry, there is a reason. Maybe they are on the rise in their careers, or they are charging themselves and don't want to be distracted by love. In short, they have their own arrangements. The more you push them, the more they will refuse.

Second, don't force marriage. You may not be able to love your children. Similarly, children may not value what you specify. Forcible persecution destroys both husband and wife and two families. It is better to accommodate. As long as they are happy, we will try our best to adapt. I'm sure the daughter-in-law/son-in-law won't be too bad, and we'll appreciate it.

Third, don't interfere in your children's marriage life. Children and grandchildren have their own blessings. The children have grown up and are all adults. We should let go of many things in time. Too much intervention will be counterproductive. Give children full freedom and let them run their own marriages.