Come on a few very funny jokes, not too many, maybe 4 or 5. They must be funny. Don’t copy the URL.

In the countryside, a little boy was sweating profusely and pulling a cow. Tourists passing by asked curiously: "Where are you going to take the cow?"

"Go to the neighboring village to mate with the cow."

"You cannot let your father do such a thing Do you want to do it? "

The boy shook his head repeatedly: "No, it must be a bull!"

The village announced: "artificial insemination" of sows. The aunt led the sow to the yard of the veterinary station. The veterinarian comrade pointed to the patio and told the aunt, "Tie it there and take it back later."

The aunt saw that the patio was dirty and hesitated. After a while, he asked: "Is it okay here? How about I go and bring you some straw."

"No, no, no, it will be fine in no time."

After a while, the aunt went to pick up the sows, and the comrade said to her: "Okay! This time we guarantee a litter of twelve."

The aunt looked confused and said: "Twelve is good." , but you are born like a gay, how can you sell this pig?"

A pair of lovers, the man likes to say: "I will kill you!" Huhu hasn't seen each other for several days. , the woman found the man’s work unit, and the man asked: Is something wrong? The woman said softly: "It's okay, I just don't want to live anymore..."

The doctor was at odds with the director and was transferred to the gynecology department. She was secretly happy. The next day, he saw dozens of female patients. Even after being touched and looked at, they had erections that lasted for eight hours. At night, my wife pestered my ****, and he was impotent. Then it suddenly dawned on me: Fuck him! The leader plotted against me again!

A medical student went to a rural hospital for an internship and did not know how to speak rural dialect. Once I saw a sister-in-law and told her not to have sex with her husband. The sister-in-law didn't understand. After explaining for a long time, she still emphasized: "My husband's surname is Zheng!"

My sister was on a business trip at night. The brother-in-law and the sister-in-law were chatting in the living room. The brother-in-law asked: "How much money do you have after tax?" The sister-in-law blushed and whispered: "I sleep with my brother-in-law and ask for money!"

A certain gentleman came back from a trip to Hainan. When asked if he had gone to the Wanquan River, he said he had and saw many women's soldiers. Then he added in my ear: They are all yellow!

The hen complained to the bull: "Humans ask me to lay more eggs, but I plan my own birth. This is so unfair!" The old bull said: "What the hell are you doing? People all over the world drink My wife’s breasts, who the hell calls me daddy?”

A blind couple agreed on a secret code, and the man said: “Play cards.” The young man next door often said. When I heard about playing cards, I thought, how can a blind person play cards? So I took a peek and saw that it was like this. One day, the young man sneaked into the blind man's house while he was out, and said to the blind woman, "Play cards." The blind woman said, "Start." So the two had sex. The young man had great abilities, and at the climax, the blind woman repeatedly praised: "Good cards." At night, the blind man wanted to play cards with his wife again, and the blind woman said, "Didn't you play once during the day?" Upon hearing this, the blind man said again Anxious and angry, she exclaimed: "No, someone stole the license plate!"

The female leader returned home at night and was suddenly put in the car by two men. One man threatened: "Be honest, you are a robber." The leader joked after hearing this: "Damn it, such a happy thing makes me so nervous. I'm scared to death. I thought I was cheated!"

A certain gentleman was staying in a hotel and called the bar in the middle of the night: Finally How much does a cheap escort cost? Answer: "One hundred, but ugly, five hundred for beautiful." A certain gentleman said he wanted an ugly one. After the young lady came, a gentleman asked her to sit naked on the sofa, then went to bed and slept soundly until dawn. The lady was confused and asked: "Why did you call me here?" A certain gentleman replied: "There are too many mosquitoes in the room!" (This story shows that as long as I change my mind, any resources can be used for me.)

1 Women are extremely ugly, and all ghosts will run away when they see her. A poor designer made it into a New Year picture. The slogan reads: Hang it on the door to avoid evil; hang it on the bedside to prevent pregnancy! This designer won a prize and entered the well-off class.

A mosquito came into the city and was very hungry. Seeing a young lady with high breasts, she dived in and bit into her mouth. As a result, her mouth was full of silicone, so she looked up to the sky and sighed: "Oh, food safety is such a problem! Where can I find safe breast milk?"

Cars Married to a train, but soon divorced. When everyone asked why, Qi Qi said sadly: "He is worried about me getting hit every day. As for me, I am always afraid that he will cheat on me. I can't stand it!"

The former director of a certain county didn't have much ink in his belly.

A college student newly assigned to the bureau admired Lu Xun, so he put a photo of Lu Xun under the glass of his desk. After the director found out, he said to him with sincerity: "Young man, you should learn more about the works of Marxism-Leninism and Chairman Mao; if you want to display their photos, you should also display their photos. How can you put your grandfather here?"

Thoughts on the U.S. election: If Hillary is elected President of the United States, the most exciting thing will be Clinton - he has been the President of the United States for 8 years, and he can be the President of the United States for at least 4 years!

In the late period of the Cultural Revolution, the Public Security Bureau and the Procuratorate had not been restored or improved, and arrests were all approved by the director with a single pen. There is a young policeman in our area who is planning to get married. He will write a report and send it to the chief. The director who was playing cards signed four words with a stroke of his pen: Agree to arrest!

In Shantou dialect, washing your face is called face washing. A female mayor who was transferred from the north went to the countryside to visit a farmer's house. The male host enthusiastically brought her face wash and said, "Mayor, please wash down there." The mayor was stunned. The attendant had no choice but to explain: "It's local custom, just move it into the room and wash it!"

1 Cecilia, let's go, I can't bear to leave Han Hong! ! !

2. According to pig’s aesthetics, I can basically be regarded as a handsome guy~ 3. I am not as perfect or strong as you think, money and beautiful women are enough to conquer me!

4. After meeting me, you will suddenly realize - it turns out that being handsome can be so specific!

5. Auntie, we will meet at Duanchangya in sixteen years. Don’t forget to send me a text message then!

7. Angels and devils are playing tug-of-war with my soul~

8. I was once an angel, really! When God came to earth, he kindly said to me: "Go, child, you are a man born to take a make-up exam..."

10. Eat tofu when there is meat, and eat meat when there is tofu ; Missing someone when I have no meat and tofu~

12. If you don’t know the man from Zhejiang University, it is useless to call him wretched~

13. The IQ of a man when he is cheating is second only to Einstein!

14. Housing prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good men...

15. You must not go to the hospital when you are sick. If you go to the hospital, you will die because you have no money to eat. starve! ! !

16. The only thing that people can believe about CCTV is probably the time on the hour...

17. Go offline on time at midnight, otherwise the princess will turn back into Cinderella~

18. Be a secretary when you have something to do, and be a secretary when you have nothing to do

Love me for free, annual discount!

25. I would like to be a flying bird in heaven and a pig in the same pen on earth!

30. I like people who are "half-hearted": they love me, have confidence in me, and are responsible for me; they speak creatively and make me "satisfied"! ~

31. Just call me Chaowei, even though I sing like Xueyou~

32. I will always think of you when I am feeding the pigs...

33. God said: “Let there be light.

"I said: "Not approved! "So there was a dark night...

35. Wearing "human" slippers, competing in a hurdle race with Liu Xiang, deciding the outcome in one round. If he loses, he will retire. Currently, he is actively preparing for the battle...

36. I pinned the KONKA TV remote control to my waistband and pretended to have a new NOKIA mobile phone!

37. If the tiger doesn’t show its strength, you can treat me like a little donkey! Don't say anything, you really treat me like a SNOOPY!

38. Knit me a scarf, and I'll give you my lifelong care, otherwise, strangle me with your scarf!

39. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face...

40. It’s enough to truly love a woman in my life. I can’t say enough!

41. Momentary impulse, crisis for descendants! 44. Is this a human life?

45. Want to pollute a place? There are two ways: garbage, or money!

47. It’s better to have a bite of fresh honey than a basket of rotten peaches!

48. The word is pronounced: 銊! >

49. The person who truly loves you is not the person who can hold an umbrella for you on a rainy day, but the person who can accompany you through gonorrhea~

50. In the process of being divided by five horses... why don't you come with a piece? ?

It’s a good idea to get married on August 8, 2008~

52. Life is a game, and the obstacles you encounter are various levels, so let’s enjoy it Go and conquer it!

53. What you say is nonsense - because you are a useless person!

54. Are the types of animals increasing? /p>

55. If you hadn’t refused to wear those crazy red shoes, you would be spinning like a top now, right?

56. You can live like a pig, but you will always be. You can't be as happy as a pig!

57. As long as the sun rises before sunset, just arrive before get out of class ends.

58. People will always make mistakes. The right path is overcrowded~

59. Don’t waste time on people who don’t care about you. If you can’t stand it, go to World of Warcraft

61. I only drink pure water and milk. Pure milk, so I am very simple...

65. Study hard for China! A pack of China costs a lot~~~

66. I will only say three sentences, including The above sentence is finished!

67. Boss, 38 shoes are too small, and 39 shoes are too big!

68. Eat tofu when there is meat. Eat meat when the time comes; you will miss someone only when there is no tofu or meat~

69. God said: “Let there be light.

"I said: "Not approved! "So there was a dark night...

70. This person is dead. If you have any trouble, dig my grave!

71. Tianya couple's version of "org"

╭╮ ˊ

┌——┬┘└┐

╭┘ ╭┘ │

╰┐╭╮┐╭╮│))

└┘└┴┘└┘

72. When you are pursued by soldiers but face a cliff, if you don’t jump, you will lose one opportunity; if you jump, you will lose more opportunities. !

73. Be evil and do good things~ 74. Let’s talk about it later!

Who is the wife? Pig~~~

77. It is the woman who refuses to give it at first, but it is the woman who is eager to ask for it later!

78. Men pretend when they don’t understand. I understand, but women are just the opposite~

82. Looking closely at an ugly person is cruel, unless you want to punish him!

83. I put ten thousand oaths in it! The machine gun fired at you, and you fell in a pool of blood, covered with Cupid's bullets!

84. Follow me, I will take you to sleepwalk!

85. Men would rather! I don’t want a slave to serve myself, but I don’t want a princess to serve myself~

86. The only contribution of the Chinese football team to China is to make more and more people care about basketball!

p>

87. Tianya missing person revelation: Wang Hailiang, male, 22 years old, handsome, surnamed Yushu, is a mentally retarded child. He accidentally got lost a few days ago. If anyone sees him, he will be given a beating and he will be greatly appreciated. !

88. I roared loudly in the silent toilet. The strange look you cast, whether it was surprise or displeasure, did not make my voice quieter. Yes, it’s not that you went to the wrong toilet, but that I forgot to bring toilet paper

90. I am an academician of the Advanced Diving Academy of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, a Nobel Prize winner for long-term disconnection, and an Oscar for lifetime invisibility~~~

91. There are no heroes in today's society - the heroes are all covered under the national flag, and the heroes are posted on the wall at the entrance of the court - the wall to the right of the door

93. I use four! 94. Ten years of studying is not as good as raising a pig. Ten years of studying is not as good as raising a pig. Ten years of studying is not as good as being a pig. Ten years of studying is not as good as being a pig. Ten years of studying is not as good as raising a pig! Worse than a pig!

95. Dad asked me why I was learning to smoke behind his back. I said, "I feel very depressed because Taiwan has not returned!" ”

96. If Japan does not acquiesce, I will not come out of the math make-up exam classroom!

97. Japan is an integral part of China’s territory!

98. I am determined to unify all mankind, please vote for me!

99. Hey, that guy who broke the earth!

100. I can’t bear to see this! , Jay Chou, take me away, I don’t want Han Hong anymore! :)