Humorous jokes and funny sentences (selected 10 sentences)

1, a speeding car was stopped by the traffic police. While issuing a ticket, the traffic police said: You will get a speeding ticket because you just exceeded the speed limit in it. The driver said, would you please write it on the ticket? You know, I want to sell this car.

2, the male ticket excitedly pulled me and said, daughter-in-law, I envy you. I'm just asking, what do you envy me? These two commodities said excitedly: I envy that the boyfriend you are looking for is better than the girlfriend I am looking for. Is that a compliment? helliphellip

3. Have lunch with your girlfriend who has been dating for a week. I asked her to order an egg fried rice. She said it wasn't enough and asked for another rice rolls. I asked her: Why did you eat so much today? The goods wolfed down, eating and responding: We have known each other for a week, and there are some things that will be kept from you.

The first time I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner, my girlfriend joked that I was funny. Later, her mother-in-law asked her what funny ratio was. When she said interesting, she meant honest. As a result, the future mother-in-law said: This child is really funny! It's hard to find such interesting children now! I think his parents should be funny too!

Liu Hongtao is a college student in Beijing. Recently, he is studying English hard. After several studies, he decided to find a foreigner to see if his English had improved. Foreigners like to pronounce their names first, then their surnames. Hello, my name is Liu Hongtao. He knows what foreigners say about six of hearts, and I return seven of spades.

6. A friend and his wife ate in a restaurant at noon, packed some leftovers and went back to feed the dog. As soon as he left the hotel, he was robbed by two thieves on motorcycles. His wife shouted, hello! That's dog food. The friend said: forget it, stop shouting, they will take it back and add something else to deal with it!

7. Mom called to ask if she would work overtime tonight. Did you go home for dinner? Feel warm in my heart! How nice of mom! So go back, you are ready to go back! So I heard my mother loudly say to my father on the other end of the phone: old man, don't give the rest to sunspots, leave some hellip for my son. Hellip sunspots are my domestic dogs. I can't talk.

8, go to the store to buy fruit, always * * * money, I said: can the boss be cheaper? Then the boss hesitated and said, at most, I will give you cheap money. Give it to me! I think, isn't this looking down on me? So I took out my money and proudly said, here, keep the change! Turn around and leave helliphellip, leave the boss in the wind, helliphellip is on the road, and I suddenly remember what I didn't do, lying in the trough will get no results!

9. An antique collector took a foreigner home to see his collector's antiques. Introduce to foreigners, this is the table of Qing dynasty, this is the chair of Han dynasty, and this is the modern ivory chopsticks. Foreigners want to know how everything is available in China, and then the collector's wife puts a fruit bowl on the table. When foreigners see the collector's wife holding a watch, they will politely want to compliment and blurt out, alas, what a beautiful look.

10, the teacher asked: Describe the married life of modern men in one sentence! Xiao Ming replied: I married an ancestor and gave birth to a father! The teacher asked: What is the next connection between money and fluctuation? Xiao Ming replied: no money, accept my fate. The teacher asked again: Why did ancient women bind their feet? The whole class is in deep thought. Xiao Ming said loudly, I'm afraid they will go shopping. The teacher then asked: Why don't you tie your feet now? Xiao Ming continued to answer: Now that Alipay is available, foot binding is useless. Teacher: Come on, you give a lecture.