"Funny joke", can you cut a picture and send it to me? I want to pretend to be a force in my circle of friends

NO.1

When my mother met Mingming at the kindergarten, Mingming saw Doudou's father holding Doudou and asked, "Mom, how did Doudou's father give birth to an antonym?" "What do you mean by having an antonym?"

"Her father is so fat and Doudou is so thin. The teacher said that' fat' and' thin' are antonyms."

NO.2

Little sister learned a sentence from TV: "Yes, boss!" Quite able to cope with daily life. If dad asked her to bring a cup of tea, she said, "yes, dad!" " My sister asked for a towel, and she said, "Yes, sis." Once grandma came to see them from the countryside, brought big bags and small gifts and asked her little sister for help. She readily replied: "Yes, wife!"

NO.3

My husband was drunk when he came back from karaoke one day, and he would tell the truth when he heard that he was drunk. So he asked, "Why do you have money in the future?" Husband: "I want to marry five wives!" I was angry: "Why not marry seven people like Wei Xiaobao?" My husband said in a trance, "I'm so tired, I need a double break!" "

NO.4

I just received a phone call from China, saying that my CCB Platinum Credit Card just spent more than 2, yuan in Paris, France ... I said, "Are you sure it is my Platinum Credit Card?" The other party said, "It's all checked, and the name and ID number are yours ..." I was silent for a few seconds and asked her, "Can you cut a picture and send it to me? I want to install a force in my circle of friends! " The other party didn't hold her breath, and she laughed ...

No.5

Cats and pigs are good friends. One day, the cat fell into the hole, and the pig brought the rope. The cat told the pig to throw the rope down, and as a result, it threw the whole bundle down. The cat was very depressed and said, "How can I be pulled up if I throw it down like this?" The pig said, "What else can we do?" The cat said, "You should hold a rope!" " As a result, the pig jumped down and took the other rope and said, "Now!" " The cat cried ...

No.6

Daughter-in-law and eldest sister-in-law are twins. Daughter-in-law is holding her newborn nephew in my face and complaining about her twin sister: "People say twins are good, so I don't think so!"

I added, "How nice twins are! I am not alone since I was a child. I can go to work and go to school for each other. How enviable! "

The daughter-in-law put her little nephew beside her: "Yes! Only my idiot sister can think of it,

she has gone on holiday and asked me to cheat her children into being his mother at home! "

NO.7

Last night, I dreamed that I gave a rich second generation who was both like Edison Chen and Daniel Wu a guide,

or he gave me a guide, just like the ugly duckling who met the prince's brain-dead plot.

the problem is that I'm a man, and I'm a man in my dream, and I'm a poor diaosi in my dream.

hey, I had a dream, and when I woke up, I felt hot.

NO.8

During the summer vacation, the son of neighbor Zhao Ge, who is still studying, went to the cinema as a temporary ticket inspector.

As a result, I was resigned on my first day at work.

When you came to see me this evening, I asked why. He said innocently, "At the beginning of the show this afternoon, the manager told me to learn to check tickets. I said it was still early. When they finished watching the tickets and threw them away, I picked them up together. Then the manager resigned me without saying anything ..."