What funny joke stories were there before?

1. Once upon a time, there was a scholar who had a son who was a fool. One day, a dignitary visited his house, and just as the scholar was going away, he said to his son uneasily, "Son, you are a scholar, you can't lose face in our family!" If that person asks about the big tree in front of the door, you say' sell it if it doesn't grow well', and if you ask about the rockery behind the door, you say' it's a mess, it's buried!' If you say the grain in the warehouse, you have to say,' My parents worked hard to earn it!' If you say the scholar medal on the wall, you should say it's no big deal. Every generation in our family has one! Then I left safely.

After a while, the official came, came in and saw that there was only this child, so he asked, son, where is your father?

Silly son didn't know what to say, so he remembered his father's four words and said, if the year is not good, he will sell it!

The official was surprised and then asked, "What about your mother?"

The silly son said again: the soldiers were in a state of chaos, and they had already been buried!

The official also knew that there was a lump of dung on the ground and said, it's not small, what a pity!

Silly son interjected: it's all earned by parents!

The official was angry: How can you be so stupid at home?

At this time, the silly son said, it's no big deal. Every generation in our family has one!

2. Once upon a time, there was a psychopath who got a gun from nowhere and walked alone in an alley one day.

At this time, a person suddenly came face to face, so the mental derangement suddenly rushed over, pressed the person down and used it.

The gun pointed at his forehead and said, 1+ 1=?

The man was afraid and hesitated for a long time before saying: 2 ...

At this time, the psycho shot and killed the man at once, and then said coldly, you know too much.

Yes!

One day, a mosquito ran to Xiao Ming's hand to suck blood, and then Xiao Ming found it. At this time, mosquitoes

Kneel down and say, don't kill me! Today is my birthday!

Xiao Ming said: OK, I'll sing you a birthday song!

So clap your hands and sing ... Happy birthday to you ... Happy birthday to you, and then the mosquito dies.

this ...

This is my hand! Handmade, give it to me! ! !