Ask for some China jokes.

The teacher handed out papers, and the girl at the back took an extra one and shouted, "Teacher, I have it, I have it!" " As a result, the boy sitting next to him said, "It's mine, it's mine! " " ……

Some friends went to the mall and were tired after shopping. They decided to take the elevator upstairs and then go shopping. I waited at the elevator for a while and found that this elevator is for the disabled. A buddy said, "Nothing, look, we are all idiots!" "

Once my classmate's mother called, I used to say "he's not here". This time I want to say "he's out". The result is: "He's gone ..."

A friend went to the dumpling shop and asked, "How much is a bowl of jiaozi (for sleeping)?" Just listen to the waitress "bah!" He cried and said, "shameless!" ……

Even in high school, I went home with MM after school. At the school gate, I saw a barbecue seller. MM said she wanted to eat beef offal. Because there are many seniors on the grill, I am afraid that the boss can't hear me, so I shouted, "Boss, five strings of bullwhip!" " "Then there was silence. After three seconds, everyone laughed together. I was very embarrassed ... the most embarrassing thing was that MM then asked me, "What is a bullwhip?" I have to answer MM very, very quietly: "A bullwhip is a cow's tail. "

Once I booked a hotel for my boss and wanted to ask if there were any services such as free internet access, but I couldn't figure out how to say it, so I asked him, "Do you have any special services here?" The other party said, "What? Special service We are a regular hotel! "

The physics teacher said, "It's a thick spring. I pushed it from both ends to see if it was thickened (constipation). "

Xiaoming and his friends go to the zoo to play. When he walked to the elephant column, Xiao Ming suddenly felt the urgency of urinating. He looked around and asked his friends to watch the wind and secretly pee in the elephant column. Halfway through the urine, my friend found that there was monitoring and shouted, "Xiao Ming! Camera! Camera! Xiaoming got the message. The elephant was furious and Xiao Ming died.

The blind and the lame ride motorcycles, the blind ride, and the lame watch the road. There is nothing wrong with the journey.

Turning a corner, the lame man suddenly found a ditch on the road and shouted, "ditch!" " Ditch! Ditch! "

Hearing this, the blind man sang, "Loy, Loy, Loy ..."

As a result, the blind and the lame fell into the ditch together with the car.

In the new semester, a new teacher came to the chemistry class. It's been more than ten minutes since school started, and the teacher hasn't arrived yet. So my buddy decided to skip class and play games in Internet cafes.

When I came to the Internet cafe, there was only one person in it, so I accosted him: "Dude, are you coming out to play?"

Man: "Yes, I hate chemistry!" " "

Classmate: "You hate chemistry, too."

Man: "Well, the salary is too small to teach."

When I went to the hospital for a physical examination, the doctor took my report and said, "It's a good thing you came early ..." When I was shocked into a cold sweat, the doctor said unhurriedly, "If it is later, I will get off work." ..... doctors don't lie like that. Pretty scary.

In the morning, I was watching The 18th National Congress of the Communist Party of China. An insurance salesman called again and put it on the table, asking him to listen to a general secretary's report. Three minutes later, he whispered, "Are you in the Great Hall of the People?" I said softly, "Hmm!" "Sorry, Director, sorry!" ......

A man chases a woman. The man sent a text message asking, "Are you free tonight?" The woman asked warily, "What do you want?" The man replied, "I think."

When the bull was running, he saw a cow grazing on the roadside and said to the cow eagerly, "Run, the expert is coming." Niu: "What are you afraid of when experts come? Aren't experts human? " Bull: "Experts are bragging now." The cow was startled when she heard this, so Huan Zi ran to the bull and asked, "Expert bragged B, you are a bull. What are you afraid of? " The bull said, "You really don't know. Today's experts not only brag about B, but also talk about eggs! " "

My deskmate is a bookworm. Once she was taking notes in class and suddenly couldn't remember how to write the word "Geng", so she asked me and I said "Hall". She suddenly turned red with anger, and then whispered to me with her head down and gnashing her teeth, "You ... you are so stupid, your whole family is stupid ..."

A city man went to the countryside to play and was having fun when he suddenly heard a farmer shout, "Comrade, you stepped on wheat." The city man took a look at the farmer and said, "Without education, this is called an outing." The farmer kicked him into the river and said, "Shit, it's called treading waves!" " "

One day, I took a biology exam, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. I really don't know how to make a living. I tore up the paper and prepared to leave the examination room. The invigilator is always angry and asks him, "which class are you in?" What's your name? " To make a living, I lifted my trouser legs and said, "Guess, guess,"

A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated!

Stay in a small town and ask the hotel waiter, "What's your special feature here?"

The waiter paused and muttered, "Our boss ... function ..."

I talked to my colleagues about the house price at noon yesterday. I also said: the house price is so expensive now. If I have a piece of land, it will be really developed! He said: If you have a piece of land, I will recognize you as michel platini at once! Just after reading it, the little girl at the front desk called me: XX~ You have a courier! . . . Later, my adopted son refused to talk to me all afternoon.

Just now, I was dancing in a disco. A man clings to a woman and says, "Honey, marry me." The woman said, "I want you to marry me with a big sedan chair." Then the man ran away. After a while, a waiter came running and said, "Miss, there is a gentleman at the bar shouting to marry you. . .

Once in high school, everyone listened to English listening together. New tape. Part of the new tape is white. Without making any noise. Let's wait quietly together. Then the teacher said to himself, why is there no sound? I was confused at that time and answered. Leucorrhea varies in length. As a result, the boys in the class burst into laughter That girl ignored me for a week. ........

Party A and Party B grazed on the road while driving, and got off the bus to have a look. Nothing serious happened. A patted B on the shoulder: "Brother, fate! Come, I have a bottle of Maotai here, a whole bite. " B was also generous, took a sip and handed it back: "Brother, have a bite!" " "A:" No, wait until the police come. "B:" ... "

Let's see if it works. You can adopt it. ╭(╯3╰)╮O(∩_∩)O, thank you.