rich joke

My son was severely scolded by his wife for failing the exam. I comforted my son, who said, you don't have to say much. It's all your fault anyway. ? I asked strangely:? Why is it my fault? The son said:? You married a good wife, so I have a good mother. ? The following is a humorous joke prepared by Joke. com。 Let's laugh together!

Exquisite and funny jokes (1) 1 One day, the family was sitting together for dinner, and the sister-in-law teased her son: Baby, I saw you holding hands with a little girl several times. Is she your girlfriend?

The son said impatiently: Auntie, can we not talk about this? We have broken up. ?

Sister-in-law endured a smile and asked: Why?

My son's eyes are red: I asked her to marry him, but she said she would marry her brother.

2. My son is in the third grade of primary school, and he often calls his classmates on my mobile phone these days, chatting endlessly. So I said to him:? Call your mother for instructions in the future, and you can't make a phone call until it is approved. ?

The son looks unhappy:? Didn't you say that this mobile phone is ours? Since it is mine, I have the right to use it. ?

? When did I say that? I asked.

? You said it when you bought a mobile phone last year. Mom is so forgetful! ?

? Hey, mom is old and forgetful. Why not remember as well as you?

? Of course, I'm a bitch. Don't forget things! ? The son said proudly.

After the summer vacation, I asked my son to practice calligraphy for half an hour every day. At first, he was very interested, but after practicing for a few days, the little guy became a little unhappy.

After dinner, my son will go out to play. I said to him:? You didn't practice calligraphy today. Practice writing in the study before playing! ? Hearing this, he bowed his head helplessly and entered the study.

After a while, I decided to have a look. Pushing open the door, I saw my son writing something intently. Looking carefully, there are two banners written by him on the desk: homework and handwriting. I smiled at first sight:? Son, I didn't expect your couplets to be quite neat, except for a horizontal batch. ?

The son listened to the pen and said, here it is. ? As he spoke, he handed me a banner with four big words: I'm bored!

On the way to school, my son asked me to buy him a bag of potato chips, saying that he would eat them when he did his homework at night.

But when the son took out the potato chips, he was immediately stopped by his wife: eating potato chips at night will make him fat, and wait until the day. ?

The son had to stuff potato chips into the desk.

After lying down after finishing his homework, my son whispered to me: I'll eat secretly after my mother sleeps. ?

Suddenly, my wife pushed the door and told me: Don't steal food. I watch TV in the living room, but I will come in for rounds. ?

After my wife ran out of the door, my son winked at me and said, nothing. I can wait. ? I smiled and left my son's room.

An hour later, when I went into the house to tuck my son in, I heard the sound of pandering. I looked at the corner of the quilt in wonder, and my son fell asleep with the bag of potato chips in his arms.

Funny joke (2) 1, the four-year-old brother likes to watch the weather forecast on TV, but he has never understood the meaning of debris flow, typhoon, hail and tsunami, so he asked his mother for advice. In order to make it easy to understand, my mother made several metaphors: mudslides are like you, and when you cry, your tears and nose alternately flow downwards; A typhoon is like your father getting drunk and dancing crazy; Hail is like hitting your father on the back with my fist when I am angry; Tsunami is like the way your grandfather opened his mouth and roared when he saw your father quarreling with you. ?

Little brother said thoughtfully:? Oh! It turns out that my family has a mudslide once a day, a typhoon once a week, a hail once every half month and a tsunami once a month.

2. One day, Dad was reading in the study, and Xiaoming was playing with toys while watching TV in the living room.

There is an advertisement for cordless telephone on TV. At this moment, the telephone at home rang. It turned out to be for dad, so he cut the telephone line with scissors and gave it to dad. ? Dad, call! Cordless?

3. Qin Xiao's Chinese homework is today. It is late at night. Is mom still there? Dad is still making sentences. She writes in her exercise book:? It's late at night, my mother is still playing mahjong, and my father is still surfing the Internet. ?

Dad checked his homework and said that writing comes from life and is higher than life, so he can't describe the situation at home so flatly. ?

Qin Xiao nodded hard, so he seriously changed the original text to:? It's late at night, my mother is still trying to gamble, and my father is still trying to make online love. ?

4. The son asked his mother: Mom, what does hope look like?

Mom replied:? What your father looked like after he bought the lottery. ?

Son:? Then what is disappointment?

Mom:? That's what your dad did when he saw that he didn't win the lottery. ?

Son:? What about despair?

Mom smiled:? Even if I don't pay, your father can't afford to buy a lottery ticket. ?

When my wife had an operation a few years ago, the hospital had a rule that children under 12 were not allowed to visit patients.

Our 1 1 year-old son seems to understand, but our 6-year-old daughter is very sad about it. We didn't understand why she was so excited until we first heard her call her mother. On the phone, she said goodbye and cried: Mom, I 12 years old will definitely visit you! ?

Little Emily told her mother that she had a stomachache, and her mother told him that it was because your stomach was empty. You should try decorating it. ?

The next day, a priest had lunch at Emily's house. The conversation mentioned that he had a headache. Emily immediately said, that's because it's empty. You should try decorating it. ?

Our family visited a friend's house. The friend introduced us to the famous dog he just raised, and showed us dog food, dog tableware, a dog house with two rooms and one living room, and a special dog tub?

Children can't help admiring after reading it: Uncle, your house is full of dog things! ?

One day, an old classmate I haven't seen for years came to visit me. Maybe it's the change of time. There is not much black and thick hair now, but his expression has not changed. I recognized him at a glance and exclaimed. Oh, old classmate, long time no see, what a sight for sore eyes! ? When the children heard that there were guests, they also ran to join in the fun. His eyes were fixed on the bright forehead of the guest, which made his old classmates very uncomfortable.

? Dad? The child turned around and asked curiously: Is the rare guest a hairless guest?

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