Jokes that make your stomach hurt from laughing

1. Not every fat person is a potential stock, but if you don’t lose weight, you will only look worse.

2. Now I can’t afford to go to the AA system. I invented an AAB system, which is your AA. I’m so embarrassed.

3. Some people can look good with makeup, some people can look good with plastic surgery, and some people can only look good by reincarnation.

4. It is false that money cannot buy happiness, but it is true that your little money cannot buy happiness!

5. Friendship is very simple. It means thinking about the other person when you are eating delicious food, and then take a photo and send it to her.

6. When no one in the world understands you, come to me and I will tell you that I don’t understand you either.

7. Don’t blame the world for judging your appearance, as if you have an advantage over IQ or wealth.

8. When I am at home, I still insist on surfing the Internet when I have a fever. When I am at school, I feel like I have terminal cancer even when I sneeze.

9. People with good looks will be inexplicably assigned many attributes, such as intelligence, kindness, beauty... There is only one word for ugly people: honest!

10. Before buying a watermelon, I always pretend to take a picture. Although I can’t take any pictures, I think this is the most basic respect for the watermelon.

11. Some people say you look like a monkey, while others say you look like a pig, and they still argue. They are really too much! You obviously look like a monkey and have a brain like a pig!

12. There was a brother who had poor eyesight and went to see a doctor. The doctor took him out, pointed at the sun and asked: "What is that?" He said: "The sun." The doctor said: "You can't even You can see it from so far away, how far do you want to see?”

13. I seriously doubt that Yue Lao used my red thread to knit long johns.

14. There is a kind of friendship called "cold-hand friendship". No matter how cold my hands are, I will reply to your message in time. If I don't reply to you, it means you are not worthy of my cold hands.

15. A child gave me one hundred yuan and asked me to be his parent. When I got to his class teacher, I immediately knelt down and said, "Honey, listen to my explanation!"

16. My advantage is: I know my mistakes and can correct them. My shortcoming is: I never feel like I'm wrong.

17. Teacher: "After passing the exam like this, what is your relationship with pigs?" Student: "Teacher-student relationship."

18. Some people exercise hard not to practice Muscles, but so that I can sneak in an extra midnight snack with peace of mind.

19. One of the worst feelings in the world. When you wake up with sleepy eyes and look at the time, you find that the alarm will ring in three minutes.

20. After growing up, I have learned nothing else, but I have mastered two special skills: being able to sleep without sleeping pills during the day, and being able to be excited at night without drinking coffee.

21. When I had just graduated and had not found a job, the first two articles my dad shared in his circle of friends were "Should I Buy a House for My Son?" and "Son, No One Owes You."

22. Question: How to praise a girl with dark skin? Answer: One look at you shows that you are not a superficial person!

23. In fact, I am not short-sighted. I just blurred my eyes in order to look down on the ordinary things in the world.

24. It is said that children are the pearls left in the world, and mothers are the angels sent by God to protect their children. And I am the top dropped by God, and my mother is the devil who likes to play tops.