What are some humorous sentences that can be used in daily life?

1. If idiots could fly, my company would be an airport.

2. All men are born equal, except those who are married.

3. Can we find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet directly?

4. I think that as long as I have a little more modest qualities, I will be a perfect person.

5. If you need consultation or advice, we will provide it free of charge; if you need the correct answer, please pay additionally.

6. In the past, when the alarm clock went off, I often had the habit of hitting it and going back to sleep. But since I put three mouse traps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

7. If Beethoven is the father of symphony, does that mean Beethoven’s father is the father of symphony?

8. I have done a lot of stupid things, but I don’t care. My friends call it confidence.

9. The Blind Association sincerely advises you: Never drink and drive.

10. I think I should lose weight. The last time I donated blood, a hundred milliliters of lard actually leaked out.

11. Experiment with two worms. The one in the whiskey died, proving that whiskey doesn't cause worms in the stomach.

12. My creativity is indescribably high, my work ability is indescribably strong, and my writing skills are indescribably wonderful.

13. Every day I keep refreshing a world record - the number of days I have lived in the world.

14. If Bill Gates could get one dollar every time the computer restarted, then he would give it away.

15. Ten years later, the court sentenced the murderer to death for the second time.

16. I pretended to work for my boss, and my boss pretended to pay me a salary.

17. My wife and I haven’t spoken for 18 months and I have no chance to interrupt her.

18. Have you ever heard the story about the big pig saying yes and the little pig saying no?

19. I never watch TV. I just always check whether there are any misprints of TV programs in newspapers.

20. Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one is the first day of the lunar month and the other is the fifteenth day.

21. Why are you so ignorant? Your uncle is here, why would you think of going to the zoo to see bears?

22. My eyesight is very poor. For example, can you see the thumbtack on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.