Jokes about history

A gangster rushed into a bank, pointed a gun at the cashier and threw him a pocket.

Say, "you have one minute to fill your pockets, otherwise, you will become geography!" " "

Although the cashier is extremely scared, she still has no heart:

"You ... you are wrong? Should be that you will become history ... "

The gangster frowned and said shyly

"Since I was a student, I was most afraid of history ..."

1. Li Bai's myopia

The teacher asked the students, "What do you think of Li Bai's poems?" The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? "?" Student: "Li Bai must be nearsighted."

2. Roman Empire

In Chinese class, the teacher told the students an idiom; "Rome was not built in a day.

In history class, the teacher asked the students questions; "When was the Roman Empire founded?" "at night!"

repeat the performance

"Teacher, how was my son's history exam? I didn't like this course when I was at school. "

"What's your score in history class?"

"I failed the exam."

"I think history is repeating itself."

4. The following are the new explanations of various disciplines:

Economy-often forgotten

Accounting-soon forgotten.

Accounting is "forgetting quickly"!

"Statistics" means "forgetting everything"

And "design"->; "Try to forget"

Computer organization-ancestor worship

Calculus-crisis score, slight cumulative score

The History of Ming Dynasty-Yao Ming is Dying.

Song history-death

History of Western Historiography-Dead and Dead

5. Declaration of Independence

Teacher: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

Health: I think it is on the table.

6. Who led the first half of the 20th century?

An American historian and a Russian historian discussed who led the first half of the 20th century.

"I voted for Mr. Hoover," said the American. "He tried to teach us Americans to give up drinking.

"That's nothing!" The Russian went on to say, "I chose Stalin. He tried to teach us Russians not to eat. "

7. Can't find it

"Teacher, you told us about the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, right?

"Yes, I have."

"Then why can't I find it on the map?"

8. Wu Zetian is a great mathematician

History teacher: "Do you know who Wu Zetian is?"

Student: "Wu Zetian is a mathematician.

After five, the great mathematician who invented rounding was added. "

9. History exam

After the "Cultural Revolution", the whole country resumed unified recruitment.

A history exam, out of a question:

"Why did the Paris Commune fail?"

Some students replied: "Because I didn't learn Dazhai."

Li Shizhen will come today.

One year during the Cultural Revolution, a foreign medical delegation visited Shanghai and was received by a "Shuang Tu" cadre.

The head of the delegation said, "Your country's contribution to Li Shizhen's medicine is really remarkable ...? The cadre immediately asked the translator loudly: "Is Comrade Li Shizhen there?" The translator was startled and shook hands with him at once.

"Oh, no, pick it up by car!" The translator scratched his scalp anxiously.

"Ah, he's having a haircut? No, tell him to come right away.

"The translator had no choice but to gather together in the cadre's ear and whispered," Li Shizhen was from the Ming Dynasty ... ""Is the Ming Dynasty coming? No, you must come today! " The cadre was furious.

1 1. Scared the reporter to death.

One year during the "Cultural Revolution", an old reporter, a man, just returned to the newspaper office from the cadre school.

The new leader ordered him to interview.

Boluo county at that time was a typical example of "applying what you have learned".

He tried his best to continue on his way,

It's easy to find this role.

"Where are you from?"

"We come from all corners of the country and come together for a common revolutionary goal."

Kan Kan, the pacesetter, replied that the reporter didn't get to the point, so he had to ask again, "How is your life now?"

"Worry about the world first, and enjoy the world later."

The reporter was dumbfounded and unwilling. He asked, "How many brothers are there in your family?"

"People who suffer all over the world are my class brothers."

The reporter fled.

12. Question and answer between teachers and students

Teacher: "We studied the history of world inventions. Excuse me, can any of you tell me what is the most important thing that didn't exist 50 years ago? " "me!" One of the cleverest students said confidently.

Teacher: "in the history of human development, people evolved from walking on all fours to walking on all fours." What is the biggest benefit? "

Student: "You can save a pair of leather shoes!"

13. Question and answer between teachers and students

In a history class in a British school, the teacher asked a student, "Can you tell me?"

13 12 What happened in England? "

Student: "The Prince of Wales was born."

Teacher: "Great, that's right.

What happened to 13 17?

Things? "

Student: "Prince of Wales is five years old."

13. Examination

Peter: "Why did you always stare at the invigilator's eyes in the history exam just now?"

Tom: "Because I can't answer a question."

Peter: "But there is no answer in the teacher's eyes!" " "

Tom: "As long as his eyes look out of the window, I can find the answer at once." "