Help me think of an English funny duty report ~ OK?

Mother and son are washing dishes, while father and daughter are watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a sound of breaking plates, and then there was silence.

The girl looked at her father and said, "It's mom." 。

"How do you know?" Her father asked.

She didn't say anything. "

Second: I have turned it over.

A woman said to her husband, "honey, look at our sheets!" It's too dirty. Do you want to wash it now? "

The man looked at the sheets, thought for a moment, and then said, "I don't think it's necessary." We can turn the sheets over. Is that all right? "

Li Lian, who is in her forties, had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. The conditions are so bad that Li Lian feels that she is going to die.

During the rescue, Li Lianhua suddenly heard the voice of God: "You won't die, you can still live for 45 years, 6 months and 02 days, and you have the courage to live!"

Of course, the result is the resurrection of the Li Lianhua miracle. After physical recovery, Li Lianhua felt that she could live for more than 40 years, so she couldn't wait to be discharged from the hospital. First, she had a facial repair, then a lip repair, then a breast augmentation, and finally a thin abdomen. She went through four cosmetic operations in a row, and then she called a professional hair stylist for home service, changed her hair stylist, and made a trendy hairstyle. The whole body looked several years younger.

After the last refresh operation, Li Lianhua happily went through the discharge formalities, but unexpectedly she was in danger of being killed in a car accident at the door.

Last day, Li Lian angrily asked God, "Since you said I have 45 years to live, you shouldn't eat words."

God shrugged his shoulders in embarrassment. Answer: "I'm really sorry, at that time, when the car hit you." ... I didn't recognize you. "

Here are some English jokes, you can have a look:

/loveu/Article/English/yyxx/200508/22000 . html

British humour

Pun intended:) ~

/~ t207/wht 2 . htm

Teacher: Why are you late every morning?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner near the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go Slow".

Teacher: Why are you late every morning?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner of the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go Slow".

Do you know my job?

One night, a hotel caught fire and the people living in it ran out in their pajamas.

Two men stood outside watching the fire.

"Before I came out," said one, "I ran into some rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think about money when they are afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in the fire, the fire will burn it. So I took all the money I could find. No one will become poorer because I took them. "

"You don't know my job," said another.

"What's your job?"

"I am a policeman.

"Oh!" The first man shouted. He had a brainwave and said, "Do you know what I do?" "No," said the policeman.

"I am a writer. I always talk about things that have never happened. "

Translation: (simple translation by yourself)

Do you know what I do?

One night, a hotel caught fire, and the people living in this hotel ran out in their pajamas.

Two men stood outside, watching the fire.

"Before I came out," one of them said, "I ran into some rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think about money in fear. If someone leaves paper money in the fire, the fire will burn it to ashes. So I took all the money I could find. No one will become poorer because I took them. "

"You don't know what I do." Another said.

"What do you do?"

"I am a policeman."

"Oh!" The first man gave a cry. He had a brainwave and said, "Do you know what I do?" I don't know. The police said.

"I am a writer. I always like to make up stories that have never happened. "

Who is the laziest?

Father: Jack, I talked to your teacher today. Now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Jack: I don't know, Dad.

Father: Oh, think about it! When other boys and girls are reading and writing, who sits quietly and only watches how others write?

Jack: Our teacher, Dad.

For more information, please click on the resource link.

thank you

References:

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