How to answer awkward questions skillfully

How to answer awkward questions skillfully

How to skillfully answer embarrassing questions? When people encounter questions that they don't want to answer, they often change the subject and answer another question. So everyone knows how to answer awkward questions skillfully. Come and have a look with me!

How to answer awkward questions skillfully 1 When people encounter questions they don't want to answer, they often change the subject and answer another question. But you are worried that a gossip friend around you will suddenly say, "Hey, don't change the subject!" " Or are you worried that others will think you are a sly person or an unreliable person?

Don't answer questions asked by others; Answer the questions you want to answer. -This is the experience of US Secretary of Defense robert mcnamara during the Vietnam War.

How to avoid the questions that must be answered?

Cunningly avoiding reporters' difficulties, or questions they don't want to answer, or even their own scandals, may be politicians' usual tricks. So how can we answer questions skillfully in our daily life?

Imagine if you were a company spokesman and the reporter asked a question that was unfavorable to the company. How would you answer it? If you are a star and a reporter asks you about your privacy, how do you face it? If your wife asks you, "Where did you die last night? Why not go home! " What should you say?

Changing the subject is one way, but how to make the questioner divert his attention from other aspects and not find that your answer is not what he wants to ask?

Todds Rogers of Harvard University's Kennedy School of Politics and Michael Norton of Business School think that "changing the theme strategy" is more suitable for two situations: one is that the speaker answers similar questions, which makes it difficult for the audience to recall the question just now; Or when the audience's attention is focused on social goals or there is no clear goal, it is more difficult to find that the speaker evaded the question.

During the experiment, the researchers asked participants to watch a four-minute political debate video. There are two kinds of videos, one is that the respondent answers the question directly, and the other is that the respondent avoids the original question and answers similar questions by himself. Each participant randomly watches one of the two videos. Then, all the participants were randomly divided into three groups, which were three different situations.

The first group is the "no goal" group. Participants only need to watch the video carefully. After that, the researchers began to ask: "What was the question just now?" And "Is the person in the video right?" The result is very surprising. Less than 40% of the participants who watched the video "Answering Similar Questions" can recall the question just now, while nearly 90% of the participants who watched the video "Answering Questions Directly" can remember it. In other words, people who listen to you are actually confused after listening for 4 minutes. Who can remember what the original problem was? Even if the answer doesn't matter, others won't realize it

But in daily life, communication is not only as simple as a few conversations or listening to a speech, but also includes the evaluation of the person you are talking or giving a speech, such as "this person looks mature and steady" and "this person is definitely an academic expert" and so on.

Therefore, researchers call this situation a "social target" group. Participants in this group will have one more task than the previous group, not only watching videos, but also thinking about "what kind of person is the speaker?" "Do you like this person?"

After watching the video, when the researcher asked, "Remember the question just now?" "Did the characters in the video answer?" What will be the result of this group? Their performance is worse than that of the previous group. Part of the participants' attention was assigned to evaluating the speaker. As a result, less than 25% of the participants who watched the video "Answering Similar Questions" could recall the question just now, while only 80% of the participants who watched the video "Answering Questions Directly" remembered the original question. In fact, if you think about it carefully, this second situation is closer to daily life, that is to say, few people can really find you to "answer irrelevant questions."

So is it because these participants are forgetful or the questions are too difficult to remember? The researchers designed a third situation, called "monitoring" group. This time, participants need to watch the video with questions and directly judge whether there is a phenomenon of "changing the topic" in the video.

At this time, most participants found that the video did not directly answer the questioner's question. But in real life, it is actually difficult for us to assume in advance that others will transfer the problem and then catch him. So you can skillfully avoid other people's problems through this method.

Changing the subject doesn't mean cheating, just diverting attention.

Grice, an American linguist, once put forward a cooperative communication principle:

(1) Communication contains certain information;

(2) Honest communication;

(3) Communication should be conducted in an appropriate way;

(4) Communication should be related to the current topic.

However, some early researchers think it is fraudulent to avoid questions and answer similar questions, which violates the principle of cooperation and communication. Actually, it's not like this. We just focus on another aspect, because the questioner or other listeners assume that what you say is honest, that what you say is closely related to the problem or topic, and that you can let the other party get some information from your conversation without arousing suspicion, then you have successfully said a cliche. In fact, being slick doesn't mean cheating, just successfully diverting attention. Just like the fake action in the basketball match, it is not a moral problem, but a technical problem.

Learn to be flexible and don't be rigid and old-fashioned.

Besides paying attention to the way you answer questions, tone is also very important. People tend to give higher evaluation to those who can answer similar questions fluently, while those who answer questions directly will not get better evaluation if they stutter.

How to answer awkward questions skillfully? First, use the topic.

Let me give an example of Chengdu Koucai School: In ancient times, there was a county magistrate who liked art very much. Although he is not good at painting, he is very interested. The tiger he painted looks like a cat rather than a tiger. And every time he finishes painting a painting, he will show it to everyone for comment in the hall. Everyone can only say good things, not bad things, otherwise. You will be punished, from beating to exile.

One day, the county magistrate finished painting a "tiger" and hung it in the hall for all officials to enjoy. The county magistrate proudly said, "Look, everyone, what about the tiger drawn by this official?" They bowed their heads and said nothing. Seeing that there was no answer, the county magistrate ordered a new person and said, "Tell me about it." The man trembled and said, "Sir, I'm a little scared." County magistrate: "Afraid? Afraid of what? Don't be afraid. I'm with my master. What are you afraid of? Bearer: "Sir, you are also afraid. "County magistrate:" What? Sir, I'm scared, too. What is that? Tell me quickly. "Come:" I'm afraid of the son of heaven. Sir, you are the minister of the son of heaven, of course you are afraid of the son of heaven! "County magistrate:" Yes, the master is afraid of the son of heaven, but the son of heaven is not afraid of anything! " "Come:" No, the son of heaven is afraid of heaven! " "County magistrate:" The son of heaven is the son of God, and it makes sense to be afraid of heaven. All right! What is God afraid of? "bearer:" afraid of clouds. Clouds will cover the sky. "County magistrate:" What is the cloud afraid of? " Come: "Afraid of the wind. "County magistrate:" What is the wind afraid of? Come: "Fear of the wall." County magistrate: "What is the wall afraid of?" Come: "The wall is afraid of mice. Rats can make holes. " County magistrate: "So, what are rats afraid of?" Someone said, "The mouse is afraid of it!" "Someone pointed to the picture on the wall.

When the new official took office, he didn't directly say that the tiger painted by the county grandfather was like a cat, but he was very relaxed and used the topic to make a detour to achieve the purpose of criticism. This method of dealing with topics that should not be bluntly said is really clever.

Secondly, fuzzy language.

Let me give an example of Chengdu Koukou School: One day, a man accidentally bumped into an official. Tied to the lobby of the government office. The magistrate asked, "Who are you, who dare to collide with court officials?" The man was frightened and replied trembling, "The villain is a fortune teller." It happened that the first wife of the county magistrate was pregnant. The county magistrate wanted to know whether his wife was pregnant with a boy or a girl, so he quickly ordered someone to untie Mr. Pig melon: "This official was just about to ask you, is my wife Nongzhang or a wazi?" In the old custom, a boy is given a piece of jade, so it is called, a girl is not given this treatment, even if you play with tiles, it is also called tiles. Where did the fortune teller know this trick of the literati? He didn't get it for a moment. He casually replied, "Of course the master's people are good at it. According to the abacus, Zhang Can can do it, and Wa can do it ... "The magistrate was very angry:" You are such a fool! Somebody please. Re-hit 40 boards and get out! "

Who knows, a few days later, my wife gave birth to a boy and a girl twins! The magistrate was happy from ear to ear. At this time, he remembered the fortune teller who had been hit by four boards: "Zhang Can can do it, and tile can do it. This gentleman turned out to be a living fairy! Quick, prepare a generous gift, and the official will personally thank him! "

Of course, this is just a joke, but it shows that this ambiguous answer is a way out of the predicament when it is difficult to show your attitude. How to answer awkward questions skillfully? Vague answer is a vague language in stomatology and an important means to leave room in social situations. Therefore, in the process of talking with people, we must pay attention to discretion and leave room. Don't say "full of words", speak flexibly and leave yourself room to advance and retreat.

Fuzzy language has flexibility and adaptability. It is impossible to make an accurate judgment on some complicated arguments or unexpected things in conversation at once. At this time, fuzzy language can be used to avoid its sharpness, so as to gain time to do necessary research and formulate countermeasures. For example, some needs and questions that are difficult to answer at once. You can say, "We will give you an answer as soon as possible." "Let's think about it again." "I will give you an answer in the next few days." The words "as soon as possible", "as soon as possible" and "in recent days" here are flexible and leave room. You can prevent yourself from blindly reacting and falling into a passive situation.