Selected super-connotation paragraphs

1. When I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend broke the love I gave her in front of me and growled at me: I will give you back everything you gave me! Then turn around and leave, at a loss. After a while, I went to pick up the debris, only to find that he was a broken madman with two slots. Damn it, I really did. ?

2. The son said to his mother with an iPad: "Look, you can read on it." Mom was very surprised. She took it to the iPad and looked at it. Then she licked her finger and turned a few pages on it. ?

3. "Master, why do you always say Amitabha?" "benefactor, I think it's too vulgar for a monk to express his emotions with hehe. Amitabha?

Who invented this baby, an alien creature who can't communicate at all, naked and without any documents. The standby time is extremely short, and it can be charged once every 2 hours, and it cannot be returned. But you like the development process very much. ?

Seeing the fog rolling, Wukong quickly pulled out his hair and turned into seven or eight fake Tang Priests. Huang Paoguai couldn't tell the truth from the false, so he took it back to the cave and said to Princess Baihua: Madam, I brought the Tang Priest back and ate his flesh, so I can live forever! Princess Baihua looked puzzled. "Why are there seven?" Huang Paoguai said, "Maybe seven is a course of treatment ...?

6. Someone received an anonymous letter with the following contents: _ _ cigarette, _ _ prize, _ _ check, _ _ take, empty and _ _ sign. It took him a long time to understand the meaning, so he had to ask his brother in the literature department for help. After reading it, the senior said to him with a serious face: Have you offended anyone recently? Be careful. He looked puzzled: Why? The senior brother said: Obviously, this letter means that you ... are short of cigarettes.

7. It must be very late, you know.

I am a taxi driver. Last night, two boys and girls took a taxi. We talked for 30 years. After getting on the bus, the woman said:

Hurry up, or the school gate will be closed soon!

The man said, master, let me give you the fare first! He, he took out a ten-dollar bill and a hundred-dollar bill, and the hundred-dollar bill was blocked by the ten-dollar bill, saying, just thirty!

He winked at me again, I smiled at him, and then I took them for two laps. ...

8. The obscure signatures of foreigners 8==D = D = D.

When I was in high school, I once saw a foreigner's obscure signature on the Internet: 8 = = D.

I couldn't understand it, so I took it to school and asked my classmates. I asked the whole class, and no one knew what it meant. . .

Finally, I let a MM see me, suddenly blushed and called me a rogue. . . .

I was puzzled and asked her what this meant. She just blushed and didn't tell me at last …

9. Dad asked Xiaoming what he wanted to be when he grew up.

1, Dad asked Xiaoming: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Xiao Ming said: Pipeline repairman.

Dad asked: What are the benefits of repairing pipes?

Xiaoming: Either express delivery or take-away.

Dad: Did you play with my computer?

Dad gave Xiaoming a good beating. Xiao Ming cried and said, Dad, I was wrong. I want to study hard. Please give me a tutor. .

2. Play mahjong with the leader. The leader inadvertently said: I admire Chiang Kai-shek the most. Song Meiling liked buttonwood, and Chiang Kai-shek also planted buttonwood in Nanking. I got the message and made a five-gun, led by Hu.

10. Visiting relatives in the hospital, the doctor reprimanded the patient.

A friend went to the hospital to visit relatives and met the doctor who was reprimanding the patient:

"You have been in hospital for two months! My leg has been in plaster for two months! Lie in bed! I'm five weeks pregnant now! ! Go ahead! Is this more like it? "

The patient silently buried his face, and the man who looks like his husband explained weakly: "We just got married ... still in the honeymoon period ..."

The doctor even collapsed: "But this is a six-person room!" ! ! You guys? ! ! ……"

1 1. I want to climb my own side wall.

One night, I dated my girlfriend. Suddenly, my girlfriend gently rubbed my part with her hand and asked, "Dear, how is this place bulging?"

I didn't react at the moment. She immediately touched the same part of herself with her other hand and said, "Why don't I?"

I smiled and said, "That thing is only available to men."

The girlfriend asked curiously, "What is that?"

I calmly said: "Oh, you said this, two words ~ ~ ~ ~ Adam's apple!

I want to go to my side wall. . . . .

12. I wanted to try Xinjiang saute spicy chicken on a business trip and forgot the name of this dish.

Xinjiang saute spicy chicken is famous all over the country. One day, a foreigner came to Xinjiang on business and wanted to try saute spicy chicken, but forgot the name of the dish, so he called a waitress to ask.

"Excuse me, is there that chicken?"

After listening to this, the waitress leaned over his ear and whispered, "Keep your voice down, I'm here."

13. A moving magic book

Classmate A has an unusual personality, and all his classmates admire him.

There was once a party where every student performed a program. He performs magic.

Go on stage, sit on the stool, put the book on the zipper of his pants, and then he stared at a girl in our class. 1 minute later, he performed magic. The name of this magic is ... touching book. ...

The teacher burst into tears. ....

14. Female graduate students hand in their graduation thesis, and the professor holds the thesis and says

Female graduate students went to hand in their graduation thesis. The professor took the paper and said, "From top to bottom, your paper has two outstanding features." Then look at it, it will be dull; Looking down, it is a bit rough; At the end, there was an obvious loophole. "The girl was anxious and asked," What should I do? Professor: Insert my paragraph to enrich it. We'll talk later. "

15. Xiao Yan and Xiao Yan are two different things, and Xiao Yan and Xiao Yan are two different things.

Aunt and aunt are two different things, aunt and aunt are two different things, and falling in love with her and falling in love with her are two different things.

Being ugly and being ugly are two different things. Not interrupting and not interrupting are two different things.

Scary and scary are two different things, so are Japanese and Japanese.

The second child and the second child are two different things, and oversleeping and oversleeping are two different things.

Chinese characters are really profound … goodbye my innocence … I don't understand any of them.

Moral integrity broke all over the floor. . . Foreigners will faint when they see this.

16. Iron buddies who like to touch other people's ears to sleep.

When I was a child, I slept with my best friend. He likes to touch my ear to sleep.

I slept with my wife last night and suddenly thought of him, so I touched my daughter-in-law's ear. She actually said:

"How can you sleep like someone!"

I actually smiled and said, "He hasn't changed for so many years!"

Sleep peacefully. I have been looking for a marriage certificate since this morning.

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