Why did Dongfang Shuo write 3,000 bamboo slips recommending himself to become a full-time crosstalk actor for Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty?

During the period of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, the stars shone brightly. It is an era in which capable people emerge in large numbers. There are Huo Qubing, Wei Qing and Li Guang who can determine the world. There are countless people who can bring peace to the world. Sima Qian, Dong Zhongshu, and Sima Xiangru were all great literati in any dynasty. Although there have been so many people who changed history, there are still some capable literati who have no way out. If you want to do something, you must have some means, so a "crosstalk actor" Dongfang Shuo appeared.

The official selection system of the Han Dynasty was mainly based on the recommendation system, that is, through the recommendation of local officials and review by the court. Because of the flaws in the system, everyone with the right to recommend is only willing to recommend his own people, and many literati cannot find a way to advance. If you don't put in some effort, you won't be reused at all. Dongfang Shuo has read all the books in the world since he was a child, not to mention the Four Books and Five Classics, and is proficient in all kinds of military formations. Because he knows so much, he can perform all kinds of acrobatics, and he is also very humorous. Everyone loved watching him do tricks and listening to his stories. I often can't stop telling stories. Because of this, I received a lot of beatings from my family. No one can stand it when all the time spent working is used to brag. In this way, he developed the ability to brag. He survived until he was in his thirties by bragging and occasionally performing acrobatics on the street.

Not long after Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty succeeded to the throne, he wanted to do a big business. The court had a large talent gap, so he ordered to recruit talents from all over the world. As long as anyone is capable, he can write a letter of recommendation to recommend himself, and if the emperor likes him, he can become an official. All scholars want to serve the country, not to mention Dongfang Shuo, who has a flamboyant personality. This year, Dongfang Shuo was already in his thirties. How could a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity be missed? I immediately prepared bamboo slips (paper had not yet appeared at that time) and wrote a cover letter. I couldn't stop writing my self-recommendation letter and used three thousand bamboo slips. The ability to brag is fully demonstrated in this cover letter. Three thousand bamboo slips have been used up, which shows how much content there is. It also took a lot of effort to prepare the bamboo slips. At that time, it was not like writing with a pen or typing on a keyboard now. People wrote one by one with a brush.

Three thousand bamboo slips are probably too small to be moved. He also had to move from Dongfang Shuo's hometown to Chang'an, which was hard to do for a job. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was confused when he saw this pile of bamboo slips. He was curious about what was written on them and started reading them.

"My parents left me before I was eight years old. I was raised by my brother and sister-in-law. I read the Four Books and Five Classics at the age of ten. I started dancing with guns and sticks at the age of thirteen. I read no less than twenty books on the art of war. I am proficient in all kinds of art and military formations. I am also a language genius and can speak all the local dialects in the Central Plains. It’s also very deep. Can a person like me who is 1.9 meters tall, physically agile, and honest be able to serve the country...".

There is so much written that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty took three days to finish reading it. Through a lengthy bragging, the owner of the three thousand bamboo slips aroused the curiosity of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty. It is really important to write a well-written resume. You must brag where you should. Otherwise, how can you stand out from thousands of job seekers? This should be an immortal example in all cover letters. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty seemed to have a little appreciation for this joker. I thought: Although it’s a bit exaggerated, it’s really humorous. I don’t know whether he was attracted by Dongfang Shuo’s extraordinary courage, his humor, or his boasted talent that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty believed in? Everything that happened next is the best explanation.

Soon after, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty appointed Dongfang Shuo as Lang Guan. Although he was granted an official title, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty did not entrust Dongfang Shuo with important responsibilities, but only wanted him to amuse himself during his busy schedule. It seems that the cowhide of Three Thousand Bamboo Slips was overstated. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty only valued his humorous and eloquent side. He could be raised as a cross talk actor, but it was impossible to reuse him. Although Dongfang Shuo was not reused, the emperor still liked this eloquent folk artist. Whenever something didn't go his way, he would ask Dongfang Shuo to tell a joke. Dongfang Shuo was depressed. He was already in his thirties, and his lifelong ambition was to serve the country. Now he had just changed from a folk comic actor to a court entertainer, and he felt really aggrieved.

Being a Langguan is not a long-term solution, and the salary is too small. I originally planned to take my wife back from my hometown, but this little money is just enough for my own expenses. Now my wife is still living a hard life in the countryside. If I could tell stories and play tricks in my hometown in Shandong, my life would be better than here. There is no need to live separately in two places. The more I thought about it, the more something was wrong. It was impossible to go back. My ideal had not yet been realized. I had to get rid of this predicament. There was no chance to meet the emperor in normal times, so we could only meet him in person when the emperor wanted to hear a joke. Now the emperor is busy fighting the Huns and has no time to listen to jokes. It has been more than a year since he summoned Dongfang Shuo. Meeting the emperor is the only way for Dongfang Shuo to get out of trouble.

Finally, I found an opportunity while wandering around. Because he is usually bored, Dongfang Shuo likes to hang out after work. By chance, I saw a group of dwarfs performing acrobatics in the palace. When I went up to inquire about it, I found out that these were acrobats specially invited for the emperor's entertainment. This is when his cleverness came in handy. When he went up, he frightened them and said, "You guys have never read a book, never practiced martial arts, and you don't know how to farm. Sooner or later, the emperor will kill you after he finishes entertaining you." This group of acrobats was frightened, and they asked Dongfang Shuo asked for advice on how to save his life. "When the Emperor wants to pass by here, you all kneel down and beg the Emperor to spare your lives. Maybe you can save your life," Dongfang Shuo said and left.

Not long after, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty came over and saw a group of people kneeling on the ground, crying and shouting for mercy. He quickly asked someone to find out what was going on. After asking about the reason, he hurriedly found Dongfang Shuo who was pretending to pass on the holy order. He scolded: "Are you tired of living? You dare to falsely pass on the imperial edict? When did I say that I would kill such acrobats?" Dongfang Shuo was not afraid at all and said unhurriedly: "These acrobats with physical disabilities They are all for the emperor's entertainment. I am less than one meter tall and receive a salary of 300 yuan. As a pillar of the imperial court, I also do things to relieve the emperor's boredom. I am 1.9 meters tall and my salary is the same. With their salary, It’s absolutely unfair that I can’t eat enough for my height.” After hearing this, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty not only did not blame him, but also promoted him and doubled his income.

Although he was often around the emperor after his promotion, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty still regarded him as the fun-loving Dongfang Shuo and rarely discussed national affairs with him. If you can't change others, then change yourself. Dongfang Shuo was also used to it, and did not feel that his talents were not being appreciated, but slowly corrected his position. If he had any opinions on national affairs that he wanted to convey to the emperor, he would tell them to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty in a witty and humorous way. In the later period, many of Dongfang Shuo's ideas were recognized, which directly affected Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty's decision-making on national affairs.

From a folk artist to a minister influencing national decision-making, Dongfang Shuo has worked hard. History is a mirror. Although you are versatile, if you want to stand out, you must look for opportunities to show your strengths. Without the Three Thousand Bamboo Slips, no one would have discovered that there was a crosstalk actor named Dongfang Shuo in Shandong.