Funny jokes

1. Remember, my dear, those who are good-looking are called coquettish, and those who are ugly are called coquettish!

2. Which brand of toothpaste I use depends entirely on which brand of promoter my mother encounters first when she goes to the supermarket.

3. The so-called good man means that he is not allowed to act cool to his wife, and is not allowed to make her jealous. He must give in when quarreling, and he must hold on even when he is beaten!

4. "Good night" means "I'm closed today." It's just not open to the public. It has nothing to do with whether you sleep or not. Please know.

5. When you were poor, you thought you would be happy if you were rich. But when you are really rich, you realize that being rich is more than just happiness. It is simply the bliss of life and death.

6. Buy a new mobile phone with facial recognition to unlock the screen. Sometimes when the unlock fails, it tells me that the face match is not successful, which I can accept. Sometimes it says that no face is detected, which is too much!

7. Don’t blame "beautiful women are easy to grow old and husbands are easy to run away", it is because "you spend too little money and give up the good things".

8. If you can't find a partner, don't always blame others, think more about your own reasons. Maybe it's because you are too good and no one is worthy of you.

9. I used to like a girl, and that girl said that she liked the best boy who played well in King of Glory. So I started practicing King of Glory hard, and after two months, I completely forgot about that woman.

10. I have too many advantages, but I can’t do things well in two aspects: I can’t do this, and I can’t do that.

11. Stop saying that you are single. Dogs will die long ago by your age.

12. If you want to capture a person’s heart, you must first capture a person’s stomach. The meaning of this sentence is: if you make your partner fat, no one will want to compete with you.

13. Princesses are woken up by princes’ kisses. As for you, besides waking up from hunger, you also wake up from peeing.

14. I am a relatively mature person. Things like not eating out of anger are only done after I am full.

15. The collapse of young people starts from joining the job, the collapse of middle-aged people starts from borrowing money, and the collapse of the elderly starts from not being able to learn square dancing.

16. For women, cosmetics are confidence; for men, they are illusions.

17. Life is like a dream, I always have insomnia; life is like a play, I always get in trouble; life is like a song, I always go out of tune; life is like a battlefield, I always get out of tune!

18. The male god replied to my message quickly, which means that he likes me and doesn’t want me to be anxious. If he doesn't reply to my message, it means he likes me and wants to play hard to get.

19. The weather is just like women, fickle! Weather forecasts are just like men, unreliable!

20. Even if a person with good looks makes a mistake, others can easily forgive him. Ugly people cannot be forgiven by others just because of their appearance, let alone whether they have made a mistake or not.

21. The head teacher of that year said to us: Actually, I don’t object to your falling in love, but you must remember to find someone who is responsible. Those who let go of your hand as soon as they see the teacher, what will happen? use?

22. How am I straight? You see I never mince words when I say I like you.

23. Do you think boys will like you as long as you are beautiful? Do you think that as long as you have money, pretty girls will stick to you? Do you think you can find a good job if you are a top student? Let me tell you, these are all true!

24. It would be great if the weight could reach 100 and lose 20.