Ask for a funny joke!

Steamed buns and noodles had a big fight, but steamed buns were beaten out of the water by noodles because of too much meat.

When I left, I left a sentence for noodles:' If you dare not leave, I will call my partner to teach you a lesson'. The steamed stuffed bun went.

I made an appointment for fried buns, steamed bread, bread, etc. And I was going to find the noodle theory, so I met instant noodles on the way.

Steamed buns and others then surrounded the instant noodles and made a beating. After the instant noodles were beaten, they asked the steamed stuffed bun for it.

Why did you hit him? The steamed stuffed bun replied: Noodles, don't think that I can't recognize you when I perm my hair!

-

the second part

After the instant noodles were hit by the sea, I felt very unhappy, so I joined hands with rice noodles, oolong noodles, Japanese soba noodles and frying.

Zhajiang Noodles, I'm going to get even with the steamed stuffed bun. Unexpectedly, I met steamed buns on the road. Instant noodles refers to watch it carefully for a while and say

Dao: Brothers, go! Instant noodles are flat or even harder. After squashing the steamed bread, the people left. then

Someone asked about instant noodles: You just hit so hard that we didn't know you hated him so much. Instant noodles say:

I wanted to give it a little K, but I didn't expect him to pretend to be cute and wear children's clothes ... the more I thought about it, the more angry I became.

Title: Original

The child wrote: It turns out that he is my father.

Teacher's comment: Mom cares.

Make sentences as usual

Title: (Tree, Tree) I will plant you.

The child wrote: (Tangyuan Tangyuan) I will eat you (eat).

Teacher's comment: How cute ~ ~

3. Title: ... During ... ........................

The child wrote: He undressed and put on pants at the same time.

Teacher's comment: Does he want to take it off or wear it ~ ~

4. Title: textbooks

Children write: class is boring.

Teacher's comment: concentrate in class.

5. theme: popularity

Children write: I like bananas very much.

Teacher's comment: Be careful not to choke.

6. Title: Once upon a time

The children wrote: Xiaoming came in through the front door.

7. Title: Innocence

The child wrote: It's really hot today.

Teacher's comment: You are so naive ~ ~

8. Title: Ten points

The child wrote: I got a ten today.

Teacher's comment: I'll tell your parents ~ ~

9. Title: Among them

Children write: My left foot is hurt.

Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede? ~~

10. Title: 1 .......

Children write: a doll 100 yuan.

Teacher's comment: The teacher laughed to death.

1 1. Title: Look.

The child wrote: What are you looking at? Never seen it!

12. Make sentences as usual. Example: You (singing) and I (dancing)

Children write: you (good) me (good)

Teacher's comment: Are you writing an English translation?

13. Make sentences as usual. Ex.: People praise me (), but actually I ().

Children write: others praise me (very handsome), in fact, I (wear a mask)

Teacher's comment: What mask is so easy to use?

14. Title: Good ... Good again. ..

The child wrote: Mom's legs are so thin and thick. ...

Teacher's comment: Is it thin or thick?

15. topic: one by one

The child wrote: After work, my father came back one after another.

Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?

16. Theme: First ... then. ...

Example: Eat first, then take a bath.

Children write: goodbye, sir!

17. Title: Tianya Haijiao

The child wrote: My sister ran to the ends of the earth.

Teacher's comment: Your sister can really run ~ ~

18. Title: Forever.

Children write: I drew a straight line.

Teacher's comments: ................

19. Subject: Right away

Children write: I am riding a horse.

Teacher's comment: Come to the teacher right away!

20. Title: rawhide

The child wrote: On the night of the power outage, it was dark everywhere, and I was so scared that my skin was raw!

Teacher's comment: Seeing this sentence ... the teacher appreciates you very much. .

2 1. Title: Prosperity-a metaphor for beautiful growth.

The child wrote: My brother is thriving.

Teacher's comment: Son, is your brother a vegetable? ...

There is also a blind man. ...

Children write: bustling confession.

Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many soap operas ~ ~

22. Title: Thank you ... because ......

The child wrote: I want to thank my mother because she helps me with my homework every day. ......

Teacher's comment: Your homework was written by your mother! ! ! ! ! ! !

23. Theme: Sadness

The child wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house, so sad.

Teacher's comment: The teacher is even sadder. ......

24. Title: If

Children write: Don't drink juice if it tastes bad.

Teacher's comment: Orz .....

25. Title: Simple

Children write: The cake is crisp and delicious.

Teacher's comment: (speechless) .......... =. =

26. title: genius

The child wrote: I take a bath every three days.

Teacher's comment: I have to wash it every day to be clean ~ ~

27. Title: 1 … Toilet …

The child wrote: As soon as I walked out of the gate, there was a convenience store opposite.

Teacher's comment: Don't make random sentences. ...

28. Title: Although ......

The child wrote: there is someone on the left and someone on the right.

29. Title: Very

The child wrote: I don't know what very means.

Teacher's comment: I don't know what to ask. ....

30. Title: Because ......

The child wrote: I was born in this world because of my parents.

Teacher's comment: Deduct 5 points ....

3 1. Title: Again ... Here we go. .....

Children write: My mother is short, tall, thin and fat.

Teacher's comment: Where is your mother ... a monster?

32 guoran

The children in the class said: I ate fruit yesterday and then drank cold water.

Teacher: This is a phrase. You can't make sentences alone.

The children added: teacher, I'm not finished yet. Sure enough, I have diarrhea at night!

Teacher: ........

33 carve up

Child: A big fool can't tell right from wrong.

Teacher: Even a little fool can't tell the difference.

34 delicious

Children: What a sweet fart.

Teacher: .......

In addition,

Child: A train passes by, besides, besides. ......

Teacher: ........

I received a phone call I didn't know yesterday, with a southern accent. I'll call you by your first name when I come up!

"Mr. Wang, ah!"

"Who are you?"

"Your old friend."

"Who is it?"

"Old friend of Guangdong, don't you even recognize my voice?"

"And you are?"

"Oh, Mr. Wang, you are so forgetful!"

I'm really stumped by this question. I can't remember my voice, so I exchanged pleasantries for a long time. The other party just didn't say the name. Finally, I got impatient. "Forget it." I hung up the phone.

Then I felt something was wrong. Maybe he's a liar. If I recognize the voice of the other party as an old friend, the other party will try to tell stories to cheat money.

I dialed back the number shown just now.

I said, "You must be Lao Zhang from Guangdong."

"Yes, yes, yes, you see, I said you were so forgetful that you didn't even recognize my voice."

"Sorry, Lao Zhang, I thought someone was joking with me."

"Mr.wong, I want to go to Shenyang, invite you to dinner, it's my treat ..."

I asked, "Lao Zhang, how is your mother's cancer?"

The other party was shocked: "Oh ... the same."

"Ah, sick didn't also the way. Is your father's car accident closed? "

"Oh ... almost."

"Yes, everyone has gone, so don't worry too much about whether they pay or not."

"En"

I asked again, "Did you catch the hooligan who forced your wife to explode?"

........

"I know, I know."

I asked again, "Did your son have an operation without an asshole?"

......

The other party was silent for 10 seconds and hung up the phone.

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where does this river go?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky?

That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou.

The teacher is short of breath: get out!

Student: Just leave.

The teacher said helplessly, are you sick?

Student: You have everything I have!

Teacher: Try again. .....

Student: shout when you see an uneven road!

Teacher: Do you believe I hit you?

Student: Do it when you should. ...

The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school!

Student: Wow, rushing into Kyushu.

Attendant: Welcome to KFC. what can I do for you?

Guest: A hamburger.

Attendant: Is it spicy? ：

Guest: It's spicy.

Attendant: If you add two yuan, you can change it to a double hamburger. Is it okay?

Guest: OK, a double hamburger.

Attendant: What else would you like?

Guest: French fries.

Waiter: Do you want large, medium or small fries?

Guest: Medium fries.

Attendant: How many packets do you want?

Customer: One pack is enough.

Attendant: Now we have the latest French fries milkshake. Would you like to have a try?

Customer: No, just give me ketchup.

Attendant: How about two packs of ketchup?

Customer: I'd like two hundred packs, if possible.

Attendant: Excuse me, sir. We have a limited supply of ketchup here.

Customer: Then why are you talking nonsense to me?

Attendant: Excuse me, sir. What else do you want?

Guest: drinks.

Attendant: We have sprite, black tea and cola Fanta. Which one do you want?

Guest: Coke.

Attendant: Do you want a large cup, a small cup or a bottle?

Guest: Medium rare.

Attendant: Do you need ice cubes?

Guest: Yes.

Attendant: More ice or less ice?

Guest: Almost.

Attendant: May I give you some more?

? Guest: Yes. Thank you.

Attendant: You're welcome, sir. Don't you want to try our latest taco?

Guest: No, thanks.

Attendant: How about the special hot popcorn?

Customer: Not really.

Attendant: Would you like to try a takeaway family meal for the robot cat?

Guest: No.

Attendant: Are you eating here or taking away, sir?

Guest: To go.

Attendant: One * * * is 2 1.05 cents, sir. Do you have fifty cents, sir?

Guest: Yes.

Attendant: Yes, sir. I charge you 100.50 yuan for 79 yuan. There is a difference of two yuan. Can I give you four fifty-cent coins?

Guest: OK.

Attendant: Thank you, sir. Welcome to KFC next time!

Customer: But what about my order?

Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, but we have run out of take-out bags for the time being. Do you want to eat here?

Guest:,,,,

Attendant: Do you have any other requirements, sir?

Guest: I really want to hit you!

Attendant: So, sir, do you want to use a left hook or a right hook or a combination?

Guest: Yes. . . . . .

Attendant: Do you have any other requirements, sir?

Guest: I really want to stab you!

Attendant: So, sir, do you want to use a long knife or a dagger?

Customer: Use a kitchen knife.

Attendant: Did you bring it yourself, sir, or should I help you prepare it?

Guest: ```````````.

Attendant: Are you going to cut off my head or my body?

Guest: ````````````````````````.

Attendant: I suggest you put on our gloves when cutting me, so as not to get your hands dirty with blood.

Guest: ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Mom: What does this "I don't know" mean?

I said, "I don't know."

Mom: I sent you to college for several years. How come you don't know anything !

I said: no! I don't know! !

Mom: Still mouth shut! ! ! ! $@%! #$^&； %#$%@$%@#$%! ^%^! ^%$^#&； ..................................................................................................................................................................................

Mom: You're telling me this. What does "I know" mean, mean? You should know. Tell me about it.

I said, "I know."

Mom: Tell me if you know.

I said, "I know."

Mom: Are you finding fault? You just cleaned up a little, didn't you?

I said: I know!

Mom: I know you haven't said it yet! ! Don't pretend to understand! & amp*$%^@$#! % $ @% # * $ # $% (another beating)

Mom: Be careful. You spent so much money to send you to college, and now you can't do anything. You can still put on airs in front of my mother. Ask you the last one, you can explain it to me. If you can't tell me I'm cleaning you up, you can translate something for me: "I know but I don't want to tell you."

I fainted, picked up a pillow and hit it on my head for more than 30 times, hit my head against the wall for more than 40 times, slapped my mouth with my hands for more than 50 times, and kicked the corner of the table for more than 60 times. When I was bloody, I asked my mother: Are you satisfied now?

That's why her old man came to me again and asked me, "son, what do you mean by I'm sorry to announce? Leave me alone." "

Me: "I'm bored, so leave me alone."

Mom: "looking for a beating, talking to your mother like this" (so I was beaten)

Mom asked again; "I didn't hear anything, repeat. What do you mean? "

I said, "I didn't hear you clearly. Say it again. "

Mother said it again: I didn't hear anything, repeat it.

"I didn't catch that. Say it again. "

The result was tied.

Mom asked again, "What do you think?"

I said, "What did you say?" (beaten again)

Mother asked again, "What do you mean by looking it up in the dictionary?"

I said, "Look it up in the dictionary."

"Look it up in the dictionary. I asked what you were doing." (beaten)

Mother asked again, "you'd better ask some physical conditions." How do you translate it? "

I said, "You'd better ask someone else."

"You are my son, I ask others why, looking for a fight."

"ah! God help me! "

"Play with your mother, and God won't save you! (beaten)

I ask you again: "Use your head and think again. What does that mean?" "

I said, "Use your head and think again."

"Son of a bitch, don't you dare hit me" and then do it.

I quickly said, "It means that only mothers are good in the world."

"Well, that's more like it. I'll make you something to eat later and ask you tomorrow. "

I owe that beggar a dollar.

Alin works in a company. One day, he was waiting for the bus home at the gate of tianhe sports center. Behind him is a beggar, a man in his thirties, dressed in untidy clothes. There is a small bowl in front of him, and there is some change in it.

Alin has always looked down on such people: in their prime, they make money without their hands, but they beg regardless of their faces. But I don't know why that day, he was probably in a good mood. Alin suddenly wanted to give him money, so he took out a dollar and threw it into his bowl.

The beggar nodded and said, "Thank you!" Alin stopped looking at him and continued to wait for the bus.

The bus came soon. Alin opened his bag, but there was no money in it. He secretly scolded himself for being confused. He tidied up at home yesterday, took out the money and forgot to put it in. When he touched him again, his pockets were all empty-that was the last dollar he had just given to the beggar! what can I do? There are still more than ten kilometers from home, so I can't walk back! He is in a hurry. He really killed Han for one yuan. He watched three buses drive away in a row, and it was already dark.

Suddenly, Alin aimed her eyes at the beggar's bowl. The money he just threw in is still there, and he didn't care when he sold it. At this time, he regarded it as a treasure. He couldn't help looking at the beggar again. This time, he saw clearly: the beggar had something wrong with his leg and was lame; My eyes are bad, too. I look at people with a little squint. The beggar probably noticed him and said to him, "Sir, didn't you take the bus with you ..." Alin nodded happily. The beggar said, "How much is it?" Alin said, "One dollar, the one I just gave you ... is enough." The beggar took out a dollar from the bowl and gave it to Alin with a smile.

Alin's face turned red. Look around to make sure no one noticed. Just then, the bus came, and Alin hurried on, but as soon as he got on the bus, he saw a line written on the automatic coin box saying it was summer. Starting from today, it will cost one yuan to turn on the air conditioner. Alin was dumbfounded. The air conditioner doesn't turn on early or late, but it's turned on today. It's killing me!

When the driver saw Alin standing there, he opened his mouth to say something. Before he could speak, Alin hurried out of the car, retreated to the corner and squatted down. A little desperate.

At this time, someone whispered in Alin's ear: "Sir." Alin saw the beggar again. The beggar asked, "Are you short of a dollar by bus?" When he saw Alin nod, he said, "I'll give you another dollar." Go home by car! " Alin couldn't believe his ears, but his eyes were sincere and there was no teasing expression. Alin knew that he really helped himself, and he was very moved. Before thinking, the beggar had put a dollar in Alin's hand.

In this way, Alin and the beggar squatted face to face and chatted like friends. Alin asked him why he was a beggar here. He smiled a simple and honest smile and said that his surname was Zhou. He used to follow a construction team and later broke his leg. It's hard for farmers to make money when their legs are broken. I really can't figure out how to make money at home. I heard that there are many rich people in Guangzhou, so I want to beg here for a while. If I can save some money, I will go back to my hometown.

Alin doesn't admire him, but he thinks he is different from other beggars. Alin said, "Are you still here tomorrow? I will definitely come and pay you back. " Then I held out my hand to him. The beggar was a little scared, but he hesitated to reach out his dirty hand. Alin shook hands with him and said, "Goodbye, Mr. Zhou!"

Alin went home by bus with a dollar borrowed from the beggar and a dollar given to him, which will come back later.

Early the next morning, I received a phone call from my hometown in a hurry. Alin couldn't delay and left at once, but Alin always kept in mind the matter of returning the money to the beggar. Two days later, when Alin came back from work, he immediately rushed to Tianhe. Sure enough, he was glad to see the beggar still there. Alin strode over and shouted at him, "Hi-",but when he saw Alin, it was like seeing a ghost. He put his head in his hands and hung his head. He said in shock and fear, "I'm blind. Please give me a break. I won't dare it again ... "Alin was puzzled and asked," What's going on? " He didn't answer, just kept begging for mercy. At this time, many pedestrians stopped to watch. Alin felt embarrassed and dared not stay long, so he had to leave in a hurry.

When I got home, my brother was singing karaoke. Alin was very moved and asked, "Did you go out yesterday?" "I took my girlfriend to Tianhe." Alin was shocked. "Go to the tianhe? Did you meet anything? " The younger brother muttered, "I met a madman begging and hit him twice ..."

Alin asked anxiously, "What madman? Why did you hit him? " The younger brother said, "I was walking with my girlfriend, and suddenly a beggar came after me and made friends with me with a smile." I ignored him, but this guy has the nerve to pull me with his hand ... My girlfriend says you have many friends and beggars! I was annoyed when I heard it, so I hit him ... "

Alin fully understood: he looks like his brother, and the beggar's eyes are not good. He must have taken his younger brother for himself, but he got angry and hit the beggar. ...

I don't understand what's going on. He asked, "Brother, what's the matter?"

Alin shouted at him angrily, "You, you bastard!"

Later, Alin never saw the beggar again and could not return the dollars he owed him. ...

Fat or thin, you can choose ..................... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~