Looking for the funniest joke,

A man from other provinces entered a Sichuan restaurant and ordered a fish-flavored eggplant, and the following words occurred.

“Boss, boss!!”

“ What's the matter?"

"Why don't you get fish with fish-flavored eggplant?"

"You don't get fish with fish-flavored eggplant!"

"Why call it fish-flavored eggplant if there's no fish?"

"You're an ancestor...According to what your child said, if you order a "tiger skin green pepper", I have to give it to you. Can you get a piece of tiger skin? If you order a "wife cake", will I give you a wife? If you order a "couple's lung slice", won't I have to kill two people for you?" /p>

[呲呲]Joke 1

Sparrows and crows set up a dragon gate formation together.

The sparrow said: What kind of bird are you?

The crow said: I am Phoenix!

The sparrow said: How could there be such a dark phoenix as your turtle son?

The crow said: You know a shovel, I am a phoenix who burns boilers.

[呲呲]Joke 2

A teacher assigned students an assignment to make sentences using "please" and "request".

After handing in the homework, one of the students answered: Yesterday, my mother stewed a pot of pig's feet. Before it was cooked, my father ate a piece and said, "I can't help but pray." Mom said: "I ask you to chew it!"

[呲 Teeth] Joke 3

The plane shook violently.

Stewardess: "Dear passengers, there is something wrong with the plane. Two engines are broken. We may have to be late."

Passenger: "When you carry your mother on your back, take a break." What the hell, if all four engines fail, don’t we have to spend the night in the sky?

[呲呲] Joke 4

Before the opening of the Olympic Games, two Sichuanese traveled to Beijing? , looking at the map on the bus

A: "We will fight to Tiananmen first, and then to Zhongnanhai..."

B: "If you want, we will catch you." The route I mentioned is a surefire way to kill everyone! ..."

Before he finished speaking, he was immediately reported by the people in the car. After getting off the car, he was taken to the public security organ and was released after N hours of explaining the situation.

A and B came to Tiananmen Square again, watching people coming and going, and they were speechless...

A couldn't help but said: "You are so talkative (gun)? ”

B: “You don’t even speak (gun), how dare I do it?” ". As soon as he finished speaking, he was transferred to the public security organ.

(Single nightclub beauty begging for sex, WeChat ID: mn3040 has everything a perverted otaku wants! You know)

A week later, the two of them walked out of the detention center. You looked at me, and I looked at you.

A said, "Leha is at ease. His bags are all packed. How can I get some bullets?" Well? "......

The armed police at the door rushed up and pushed the two people to the ground.......

The Central Committee of the Communist Party of China issued an emergency notice: The Olympic Games are not allowed. Sichuan people participated, it’s so scary!

[呲呲]Joke 5

CCTV reporter asked the survivors of the Chengdu bus fire: There was a hammer on the bus. ?

Survivor: There is a hammer!

Reporter: There is a hammer? Why don’t you use it to smash the window?

Survivor: No! A hammer!

Reporter: What? Two more hammers!

Survivor: Oh, there is a shovel!

Reporter: Shovel? That can also be used to smash the window!

Survivor: Smash the window with a hammer!

Reporter: Smash the window not the hammer...

Survived Reporter: Oh, let me tell you a hammer!

Reporter: I said a window!

Survivor: Hammer!

Reporter: What is there in the car? What?

Survivor: There is yarn!

Reporter: Oh, no wonder it burned so quickly!

Summary: Be sure to bring a hammer when you go out, nope The hammer should be close to the hammer. If there is a hammer, the hammer should be held tightly. If the hammer is there, the person will be there. If the hammer is gone, the hammer will be gone. There were two Hong Kong people checking in at the front desk, and they might not have made a reservation in advance.

I heard the waiter at the front desk ask him in Trump's name: "Are you here from xuan (Sichuan dialect, pronunciation, meaning similar to just now, temporary)?"

Hong Kong people obviously don't understand what "from xuan" means, and their expressions are confused.

So the waiter repeated it in a more serious tone: "I mean, are you here?"

The Hong Kong people were still hesitant, thinking hard for a while, and finally said: "I...I didn't come here by spinning, I came by plane!"

The waiter quickly covered his head Shut up, rush into the toilet, laugh and vomit...

Cantonese and Sichuanese (happy smile))

A Cantonese went to a Chongqing fruit stall to buy apples

Cantonese: How do you sell your butt (apple)?

Female vendor in Chongqing: gangster

Cantonese: Six cents is six cents, I want your butt (apple)

Chongqing people called the police, The Cantonese was taken to the police station inexplicably

Police: Where are you from?

Cantonese: from Calendar County (Japanese ancestor)

Police: May I ask where you are from?

Cantonese: People from Calendar County (ancestors of Japan)! ! !

The police are angry

Police: I ask where you are from?

Cantonese are also popular

Cantonese: People from Calendar County (Japanese ancestors)! ! ! ! !

Cantonese man was beaten up

Police: Tell me honestly, where are you from?

The Cantonese people cried and replied: I am still from Calendar County (the ancestor of Japan)! ! !

Reluctantly, the police threw down a piece of paper and asked the Cantonese people to reflect on their own and write down what happened

The Cantonese people wrote: I went to buy apples and asked him how much they cost. He said it was six cents a pound, and then I was taken to the police station inexplicably.

The police uncle asked me where I was from, and I said I was from Calendar County, and then I was beaten up. Every statement is true! Woo woo woo ........................

Haha, I’m going to smile~

< p>Bring the excitement to more friends.

Funny phone recording:

Female: "Hello, I am from the National Earthquake Disaster Statistics Office. How many casualties are there in your family?"

Male Answer: "My family is one person."

The woman: "11 people?"

The man said: "It's not 11 people, but one person"

Woman: "21 people? Why did it become 21 people again?"

The man said patiently: "You heard wrong, actually one person"

Woman: "71 people ? How come there are so many?"

The man finally broke out and shouted: "It's just one person!"

The woman: "Oh my God..."

The man collapsed immediately...

The man finally couldn't stop cursing and shouted loudly: "

Two hundred and five, that's one person."

Female