How to pursue the goal and enjoy the process?

This is the main content that the classical teacher talked about in the 15-week Superbody.

In this week's content, the classical teacher talked about three points respectively: 1. "Giving is happier than receiving"; 2. Flow; 3. Meditation

It seems that there are three aspects that are not particularly directly related to our work and life, but after listening to the classical teacher's explanation, you will find that the state that many people have always wanted to pursue is actually realized through these three factors that seem to be not directly important to us.

what are the three states that many people always want to pursue?

1. Do you often wonder why someone is so popular and popular, and how can I do it every day when people are happy and friends are so popular?

2. Is there a way to kill two birds with one stone, so that you can pursue your goal without being tortured by the process?

3. You are often trapped in emotions, stuck in a problem circle for a long time, unable to jump out if you want to, unable to examine yourself if you want to, and you are so distressed that it is strange that some people always seem to know their state without being trapped in emotions and tired. Tell me something.

ok, follow the classical teachers to find the answers one by one.

the first point: it is more blessed to give than to receive.

scientists have found that there are two sets of emotional systems in our bodies. One of them is the goodwill system. When we are doing good deeds, we secrete an oxytocin? (Oxytocin) hormone-This substance is produced in large quantities during a woman's childbirth and is called "hug hormone".

"Oxytocin" can help mothers relieve stress, lower blood pressure and better raise their babies, which is the physiological basis of "maternal love". In normal times, oxytocin makes us feel calm, trust each other, and even accelerate wound healing.

another set corresponding to goodwill is life-saving system, which can be called malicious system. When we resent, the aggressive areas in the brain are activated, and the "cortisol" in the body will rise. This hormone is related to stress, which will speed up the heartbeat and further enhance aggression. Long-term high cortisol is an important cause of osteoporosis and decreased learning ability.

When you do good, your body is treated kindly; When you attack resentment, your body is also secreting a lot of hormones that make you anxious. This may be the physiological basis of what goes around comes around and what goes around comes around comes around.

The above is the physiological basis for giving to be happier than receiving.

Next, a "ripple effect" is proposed. That is to say, when we apply a small act of kindness to the people around us, the probability of people who have received our help to help others will be greatly improved. It is not difficult to imagine that the world will be a world full of love. Helping others is not only good for others and society, but also good for their own happiness-it is something that you will gain after doing it, and you don't need to wait for the return. When we help others, we secrete oxytocin, which makes us happy and quiet. Are you afraid that you don't have a good relationship if you are happy, quiet and happy?

I see the point. What should I do? Philanthropists' public welfare organizations seem to be all things done by the great gods on the wealth list. Can we do it if we have no resources and no money?

no doubt, of course. The warm-hearted classical teacher gave a happy strategy.

1. Everyone has resources of goodwill, starting with small things.

First, most of goodwill doesn't require you to be rich, but it does require you to be more diligent and creative, spend time with the elderly and help the neighborhood, and don't spare your efforts within your power.

Second, everyone has emotional resources, so it is a good thing to create some surprises or happiness for others. The classical teacher said that he once called an unhappy friend every night, and when his friend came out of depression, he was infinitely grateful.

a phone call, a few light jokes and two warm greetings to friends, family or colleagues around you are not all easy.

Third, to convey useful knowledge and information, many small partners in the community are sharing their knowledge for free in good faith, hoping to enlighten or help others.

So, money, goods, time, knowledge, opinions, emotions, and courage are all goodwill you can give, which has nothing to do with whether you have money or not.

2. Start with people around you and expand the scope

You don't have to go to a special public welfare organization to help others when you don't have enough time and energy. Starting from the people around you, bringing a cup of warm water to mom and dad will warm their hearts. Explain to them a certain point in the endless novel social development that will make them realize your care for them. Forgive Didi drivers for their unfamiliarity with the road, but most of them take part-time jobs after work to take care of their families for your convenience. Personally, I often wash the old clothes I don't wear and put them next to the garbage cans on the roadside. Some people in need are embarrassed to take them directly from you, but you gently put them next to the garbage cans and put them in clean bags. Those in need know that this is convenient for them to take away and use.

The classical teacher said that due to the particularly heavy smog this year, they formed a "ripple effect" in good faith at the initiative of a colleague. They bought a lot of masks and put them in the company to support everyone to take more and give them to sanitation workers, the elderly or children.

3. Do it consciously and do it in various ways

4. Finally, the article also gives a good reminder. Caution has two extremes of helping others: one is being kidnapped by morality, and the other is helping others by cutting meat.

There are two criteria to distinguish between helping others and self-abuse:

First, whether it is voluntary or not. Involuntary and spontaneous, helping others kidnapped by morality is just paying off debts.

second: whether it is sustainable. Self-masochistic helpers often invest too much and even exhaust themselves. In fact, they just need to be "needed".

well, start practicing these things from your side, and I wish you more popularity.

Let's look at the second knowledge point introduced by the classical teacher this week: flow.

I first heard the concept of flow when I was listening to a book every day. At that time, I was very touched, especially envious of those who can enter the flow channel frequently. Do what you want to do tirelessly, enjoy the process happily, and get excellent results from it. How cool it is.

however, how can we make ourselves enter this state of flow if we want to? I've been hanging in my head since I listened to the book, looking for answers in many ways.

whatever you think, look, the classical teacher found the answer for everyone.

what is "flow" first?

The definition of professional terms is too boring. I guess you will be as indifferent as I am. I won't take notes here. Interested friends can go to Superbody and look it up directly.

Describe a state for you here, and you can feel what "flow" is.

You must have devoted yourself to one thing-painting, writing, talking, playing chess, surfing the Internet. When you were totally absorbed in it, you forgot the time, the meal, the back pain from sitting for a long time, and even the bathroom ... This is the experience of flow.

Mihaly summed up five experiences of "flow":

being highly focused until the end

disappearing, forgetting many physiological needs, and not caring about others' evaluation

having a sense of time to stop

feeling in control of the overall situation

The process is rewarding

I am a person who brushes Taobao very frequently, even taking a rest by brushing Taobao in the interval when I am tired of writing. This is simply omnibearing.

But this is a visit to Taobao. I didn't achieve myself by brushing Taobao. Most of the things you put into may not be your main business. Is there any way for people to enter the heart flow channel at any time according to their own wishes in their main business or what you think is important?

yes! There are three points: clear goals, immediate feedback and the balance between technology and challenges.

1. Clear goals and immediate feedback complement each other. Without clear and simple goals, it is impossible to have feedback-because you don't know whether you have achieved it or not. Most people have nothing to do with flow because his goal is full of adjectives, not nouns.

I had a personal experience. My friend told me that running can strengthen my muscles, so I started running. Every time I ran, I thought that I would be stronger after this run. As a result, you all know that the legendary strong muscles always belong to others, so I was discouraged, so I was encouraged, so I held on. This is that the goal is not clear, and it is difficult to stick to it without immediate feedback. One day, I told myself that just for the dopamine secreted after running, there was not much every day, so it was easy to start at three kilometers. As soon as three kilometers arrived, I knew that today's running was completed, so I continued to run when I was happy and stopped when I was tired. Unconsciously, three months passed, and the effect was remarkable. The vest line came out. Heart secretly pleased. You see, this is a clear goal, and you can have clear feedback on yourself, and the process becomes relaxed and happy.

2. Compared with

high ability to do low-challenge things is easy to be bored, while low ability to do high-challenge things is easy to be anxious. But between anxiety and boredom, there is a magical space in which people can easily enter a state of concentration, which is the flow channel of the heart. More precisely, when the difficulty is slightly higher than 5-1% of the skill, it is easiest to flow.

flow trilogy: find flow, design flow and communicate flow.

How to find the flow: It's very simple. It's very fresh when you first come into contact with things, and you feel bored when you are fresh. At this time, you fall out of the first flow channel to the boring area. At this time, you need to find a professional to give directions, so you feel fun, go back to the channel, rise to a certain level, encounter bottlenecks, start to feel anxious, and then fall out of the channel. After careful thinking, you break through the bottleneck by breaking down actions, so you are full of interest. You return to the channel and are like a fan of things. After being so bored and anxious for several times, you will find your own flow.

when the premise is complete work, flow needs to be designed. Constantly adjust the relationship between difficulty and challenge. If the difficulty is high, you should first decompose the small goals from the big goals until you can get feedback from yourself in time. If the difficulty is low and boring, then set yourself a growth breakthrough. The classical teacher said that when he trained intensively for 6 consecutive days for 1 hours every day, he set himself 1 items of lecturer skills, such as "telling jokes", "making people cry", "speaking fast" and "telling stories" ... and he practiced one course every day. Cycle 6 times and spend the summer vacation happily.

excellent people are very devoted and enthusiastic in everything they do, which is not the result of external adaptation, but the result of internal design. Suitability is the result for them, not the cause. (This sentence can be described as an sobering lesson for me.)

Communicating flow means that conversation also has a heart. More than half a sentence, it shows that your conversation purposes are different. If you want to talk with someone you want to talk with, you need to do your homework to find the boring area, flow area or anxiety area that is synchronized with the target object. Maybe you will forget the time when you talk.

So, you see, if we make good use of the principle of flow, we can not only find the flow channel and enjoy the process of doing things happily, but also enjoy the process of doing things by designing flow when the content and difficulty of the task are passively accepted, which is so difficult to control.

the third point this week: meditation.

Like the author, I don't accept meditation until I know it. Looking at some people around me who are not too old or too young at home, I tell you mysteriously how magical what they practice. I instinctively retreat, and I can't tell whether meditation and what they say are magical powers.

The classical teacher entered the psychology field from meditation, and introduced it in some big authoritative periodical forums. Gradually, when meditation got rid of mystery and had a clear explanation and a relatively simple method, he himself practiced meditation.

So what is meditation, and why are so many mental workers so eager to practice it? What changes does meditation bring to people on the basis of physiology?

To put it simply, you might as well understand meditation as a kind of brain training gymnastics. Common meditations are:

"concentration meditation"-cultivating concentration;

"compassion meditation"-producing empathy;

"mindfulness meditation"-eliminating emotional distress.

Meditation has a very scientific principle. Through meditation practice, it can help the brain in at least three aspects:

1. Meditation makes you smarter

In mindfulness meditation, you need to constantly shift your attention to different parts of your body-this is a particularly good concentration training.

2. Meditation makes you more peaceful

Physiologically, and it can be detected that meditation strengthens the neural connection between your prefrontal lobe and amygdala. The frontal lobe is the headquarters of the brain, while the amygdala is mainly related to people's negative emotions, which shows that your ability to control emotions has been strengthened.

So tall people are not without emotions, but they jump out of their emotions much faster than you. You were depressed for two days when something happened, and people jumped out in half a second. You see, this is the most essential difference why you are always spinning in your emotions and others can jump out soon. Emotional control, and this control can be achieved by changing the neural connection from the prefrontal lobe to the amygdala through meditation.

3. Meditation makes you happier

Meditation will increase the activity of the left frontal lobe and decrease the activity of the right frontal lobe. The right frontal lobe represents negative emotions and the left represents happy emotions. So you will be happier.

All these three aspects are proved by human physiological basis that meditation strongly promotes the brain. No matter how profound or simple meditation is, it needs to be applied to itself in the end to gain strength.

Here, the classical teacher introduced the practice method of "mindfulness meditation". Simply put, it is "observing yourself without judgment". The action is observation, the object is the present self, and the requirement is no judgment and no separation. It sounds very simple.

practice begins with observing your breathing. Let your breath be long, exhale and inhale. When you are distracted, you realize that you are distracted. Then don't criticize, just pull it back as soon as possible. Practice every day, the key is to hold on tight. You can do mindfulness meditation for one minute before you face a major challenge when you have a major emotion.

The classical teacher said that science often only expresses the positive and concrete side of meditation. After in-depth experience, you may be curious and awed by the philosophical system and values behind meditation. The views on troubles, how people interact with the world, the rise of self-awareness and metacognitive management are very subtle and systematic. If you are interested, you can open Superbody and look at all kinds of books or materials recommended by the teachers behind.

above, the core content of this week. Answered how to pursue the goal and enjoy the process. It is good to be a person who is well-connected and well-connected, or a person who is highly self-aware. In the end, happiness is not only knowledge, but also an act of happiness.