Humorous jokes and jokes

Humorous jokes and jokes

I wonder what my mother looks like.

A Muslim child got separated while visiting the supermarket with his mother. The manager came over and asked what his mother looked like.

The child said, "damn it, how should I know!" "

500 ducks

The male teacher said to the noisy female students: Two women can top 1000 ducks.

Soon, the teacher's wife came to see the teacher, and a female student quickly reported to the male teacher: Teacher, there are 500 ducks downstairs looking for you.

Children's paper, polite language depends on the context.

It is said that my sister and brother-in-law usually work hard to educate my three-year-old nephew;

As a polite boy, he should learn to say "thank you".

Once he saw me taking medicine, he came over and said, "Thank you, my aunt is ill."

In order to cooperate with education, I replied, "You're welcome. My aunt should be ill.

Ask questions and answer questions.

Boy A: Did your dog get a license?

Boy b: no. Still very young. It can't drive yet.

You are jealous.

My little nephew is fat. Yesterday, he slept naked, and he was full of meat.

I said, you should lose weight. Mimi is so big.

He said, aunt, I understand that you are flat-chested and you are jealous.

There will be many opportunities in the future.

The son and father were watching TV when suddenly the hero knelt down and proposed to the heroine.

The son asked his father curiously, "Dad, did you kneel when you proposed to your mother?"

Dad: "No."

Son: "Why?"

Dad: "Your mother said that there are many opportunities to kneel in the future, so I won't kneel this time."

There are no more points.

The father looked at his son's report card and asked angrily, "Why did you get only one point in arithmetic?"

The son replied, "The teacher probably didn't get any extra points."

I didn't do anything

The child said: Mom, how to keep a diary?

I'll write whatever I do today, and my mother casually promised.

After a while, the child happily showed the diary to his mother.

Mom looked at the diary in surprise. It said, Today, I didn't do anything.

My hair is sunburned.

My 3-year-old daughter has a rash. I told her to get dressed, but she just wouldn't. So, I scared her and said, "If you don't wear clothes in such a hot day, your skin will get sunburned."

Who knows that my daughter thought about it and pointed to the neighbor downstairs and said, "Is that bald uncle's hair tanned, too?"

A gift for mom.

Mom's birthday is today, and two children want her to stay in bed. She smelled the tempting smell of meat coming from the kitchen and waited happily for the children to bring her breakfast.

However, after a while, the children woke her up. When she came out, she saw two children sitting at the dining table, with a big plate of ham and eggs in front of each. A child said to her, this is our gift to you. We cook for ourselves.

The relationship is completely broken.

Qiuqiu came back from kindergarten with a unhappy face.

Grandma asked, "Ball, what's the matter?"

The ball said, "Grandma, Zhuo Zhuo and I, just like my mother and my father, have completely broken up."

Grandma asked, "What's the matter?"

"My deskmate Zhuo Zhuo didn't give me French fries, but gave it to Xiu Xiu ..."

Replace "one week" with "one week"

Students copy their homework and change "one week" to "one week" because they are smart.

I still can't forget my physics teacher's twisted face when he saw "the ball rotates once".

The zipper is not zipped.

My uncle took my little niece shopping. When taking the bus, my little niece suddenly found that her uncle's backpack zipper was not zipped, so she said to him seriously: Uncle, your zipper is not zipped!

The passengers in the car immediately looked at my uncle's pants, and he also quickly checked the zipper of his pants.

At this time, the little niece shouted: no, not only the zipper is not zipped, but even the contents are falling out!

Younger than ...

Sons and children live longer than the old. Child: My grandfather is over 80 years old. He is healthy and has a long beard. Son: My grandmother is over 90 years old, still young and has no beard!

Almost cheated

Son: "Dad, give me fifty cents."

Dad: "What do you need fifty cents for?"

Son: "The math teacher said that I want to buy a copy of Triangle.

Dad: "since it's a triangle, what do you need fifty cents for?" You almost cheated me of two cents. "

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