Jokes about life

Top 3: Teacher An An, your father is here to pick you up.

Teacher An's boyfriend (a female teacher in Class 3 of kindergarten) came to see Teacher An in kindergarten today.

When the children saw someone coming, they were eager to show their achievements and ran to Ann's teacher and shouted:

"Teacher, teacher, your father is coming to pick you up." The teachers fainted.

Have you seen my mother?

On the first day of kindergarten, the whole kindergarten was crowded with people. My mother, in a hurry to pay the bill, accidentally got separated from Xiao Pang.

Xiao pang was in a panic, crying and following the other children, pulling their corner and asking, "children, have you seen my mother?" There is a little fat man beside my mother! ! "

Top 5: I sing for the leader.

Star kindergarten is a model kindergarten in the district. Today, the district leaders visited the kindergarten and saw Dudu sitting on the ground seriously fiddling with building blocks. They casually asked him, "Will your teacher give you music lessons?"

Dudu replied: "Of course! Teacher An An also taught us to sing ducklings last week. "

If the leader wants to test him, let DuDu sing a new song to listen to.

Dudu wanted to think, seems a little overwhelmed, after a while, he suddenly twisted his waist, shook his ass, and sang very hard:

"The most beloved woman loves me the most, why do you love others behind my back ..." The leader was dumbfounded.

Top 6: DuDu's Music Cell

In order to cultivate children's artistic accomplishment, the teacher took the whole class to the concert hall to enjoy the violin concert.

An hour or two passed, and the performers on the stage continued to perform ... Finally,

Xiao Qiang is really the last straw, he loudly asked:

"teacher! When can he saw that wooden box? "

The audience fainted!

Top 7: Mom, give me a puppy. I want a white one.

My mother went to the kindergarten to pick up Xiao Pang. Seeing that Jessica Hester Hsuan in the small class loved her very much, she asked Xiao Pang, "Xiao Pang, do you think the young lady next door is fun?" Mom gave birth to a little sister for you, too, okay? "

Xiao pang is still upset that Jessica Hester Hsuan didn't promise to marry him, and replied:

"I don't like my little sister. Otherwise, mom will give me a puppy, white! ! "

Top 8: I didn't play wrong.

After June 1st, the children got together and performed.

Wu Xuanxuan is the best. He went on stage to perform the piano. After the performance, the parents who watched the program below kept shouting.

Ask her to play another song. Teacher An An asked Xuanxuan if she wanted to play another song. As a result, Xuanxuan almost cried:

"I have no wrong number. Why should I play it again? "

Top 9: Doodle's Quotations

Dudu's ideal: if I grow up to be a woman, I will become a doctor; If I grow up, I will be an engineer.

DuDu's concept of love when he was three years old: We all fall in love with relatives, such as my grandparents, uncles and aunts.

Dudu's most shameful past: I was so tired one afternoon that I fell asleep unconsciously when I was defecating in kindergarten.

Top 10: the story of nana and ants

The teacher took the kindergarten children to exercise on the playground, and Nana just watched a group of ants moving bugs in the grass.

The teacher taught him, "You see how hardworking ants are and never waste time playing."

Nana said unconvinced, "but every time I travel to the suburbs, I always meet them."

domestic

As soon as I entered the room today, I found a hundred-dollar bill on the table. Mom doesn't give pocket money at ordinary times. Is it kind this time? I can't help but feel happy at the thought of this. When I picked up the bill, I found a piece of paper under it. I picked it up and looked at it. It says: Today is your grandmother's birthday. Wait for me at home. Let's celebrate her birthday together. Attention-that hundred dollars is not for you, it is to attract your attention!

3. Wife: Husband, you are too capable. After dinner, why don't you do the laundry?

Husband: If you praise me, I will definitely suffer!

Wife: Old-fashioned! The word "boast" is "big loss"!

6. If Men's Day is 8.3 ... and Women's Day is 3.8 ... then their sum is111... and the subtraction is 4.5 ... so Singles Day and Tomb-Sweeping Day were born. ...

Dad and son

1, Dad: At the end of Qin Dynasty, Xiang Yu and Liu Bang competed for hegemony. ...

Son: What does hegemony mean?

Dad: It means fighting and competition.

Son: Oh, it's PK!

2. Son, I haven't heard from you for a long time. Mom and dad miss you very much. We know that you are nervous about your study. Would you please take some time to do a few more questions?

1. Recent text:

Good () is usually bad ()

2. Recent mood:

Good () is usually bad ()

3. Living conditions:

Money () is enough () but no money ()

No need to reply, just fill it out and send it back.

A family of three watched Animal World, and an African male elephant ran in horror. Dad said, "The elephant is so huge, what is it afraid of?"

The 5-year-old son said, "Elephant daughter-in-law."